ADHD Friday reflection became very real for me this week.
On Tuesday I scrubbed the deck for three and a half hours after coming home full of energy from the lake and my morning swim.
🇸🇪 Läs det här inlägget på svenska Fredagsreflektion – när jag behöver bli en bättre kollega till mig själv
And just like so many times before, it really started down by the lake.
Because something happens inside me after those cold swims.
It is almost as if my whole body wakes up again.
As if the energy suddenly returns and makes me believe I can do absolutely everything.
And maybe that is exactly when I need to slow down.
ADHD Friday reflection – forgetting to rest
On Tuesday I was full of energy after my swim.
So I started working on the deck.
A long brush.
Deck soap.
Bucket after bucket of water.
I scrubbed and scrubbed.
Carried water.
Scrubbed some more.
Three and a half hours passed like that.
And not once did I stop to think:
“Maybe I should sit down for a while.”
Afterwards I realized something.
I actually miss having colleagues sometimes.
Because honestly?
I am a very bad colleague to myself.
A real colleague would have said:
“Let’s have some coffee.”
“That’s enough for today.”
“Sit down before your back gives up.”
But I just kept going.
That energy I get after being at the lake and swimming can almost fool me sometimes.
I feel strong.
Awake.
Almost unstoppable.
Until the next day when my body says:
“Enough.”
When everything was finally done
And still…
When the deck was finished, I sat down outside with my coffee.
The wind was cold.
The air moved through the deck and my body already felt heavy and sore.
But it was beautiful.
Clean.
Finished.
Peaceful.
And I sat there enjoying the feeling of it all.
That special feeling when something is finally done.
One project creates another
And now a new idea has already moved into that space outside.
Some flowers.
A little more color between the furniture.
A little more warmth.
A little more summer feeling.
Because that is often how my mind works.
The moment one thing is finished, another small idea is born.
And maybe that is part of the ADHD in me too.
Thoughts always wanting to continue.
Create more.
Keep going a little longer.
Football, grandchildren and an aching back
Later that evening Tommy and I went to visit our daughter.
He was helping them with their newly bought robot lawn mower.
After that we drove to the football field where Alfred was playing football.
And little Hugo was there too.
He probably did not train that much really.
Mostly he played around.
Jumped.
Ran across the field looking wonderfully happy in that way only children can.
And I loved watching him there.
But my back…
it hurt badly by then.
It was almost hard to stand up.
Trying to slow down – even when my mind wants to continue
After Tuesday I really tried to take it easy.
Even though all the laundry baskets were already empty by Wednesday.
But it is almost as if my body and mind do not always work together.
Because suddenly I found myself outside watering the garden.
Pulling weeds.
Carrying plants out to the greenhouse.
And in the middle of it all I suddenly remembered:
“Right… today was supposed to be a quiet day.”
Thursday went a little better at least.
I carried out a few plants and then noticed that the living room windows really needed cleaning.
And yes…
I cleaned them.
But if I had not promised myself to slow down, I probably would have cleaned every single window in the house.
Instead it became just the living room.
A little time on the deck.
And some quiet moments in the hammock.
And honestly…
It felt like a small victory to stop in time.
Friday, yarn and something lovely to look forward to
Today is Friday and today I am picking Alfred up.
We are going to the yarn shop again because he wants me to knit a sweater for him.
And already now, while writing this, I find myself smiling a little.
Because it was so cozy the last time we went there together to buy the yarn for the mittens he wanted — and got a few weeks later.
There is something beautiful about that.
Creating something with your hands for someone you love.
Tonight we are also celebrating my husband a little early.
He turns 60 at the end of May.
Some of the children wanted to do something extra for him, so tonight we are going out for dinner in Gothenburg and then going to a Kalle Baah concert.
We saw them a few years ago and the whole place was really moving and alive.
Reflection – learning to be kinder to myself
Maybe this Friday reflection is really about that.
Learning to become a better colleague to myself.
Someone who says:
That is enough now.
Take a break.
Drink your coffee before your body forces you to stop.
Because I would never let a work colleague push themselves as hard as I push myself sometimes.
Between the lines
This is not really only about a deck.
It is about energy.
About ADHD and drive.
About how easy it is to continue even when the body really needs rest.
But also about the joy in small things:
a clean deck,
a cup of coffee in the cold wind,
a child running happily across a football field,
and the thought of flowers soon arriving outside for summer.
Question for you reading this
Are you good at resting in time — or do you also wait until your body says stop?
AHA – ADHD Friday reflection
Sometimes it is not the work itself that hurts the most.
It is the fact that we never stop while doing it.
Many of us are incredibly good at taking responsibility.
We keep going.
Carry one more bucket.
Scrub a little longer.
Fix one more thing.
But maybe we sometimes need to become that caring workmate for ourselves.
The one who says:
“Sit down for a while.”
“You can finish the rest later.”
“Your body matters too.”
Maybe caring for yourself is not laziness.
Maybe it is sustainability.
And maybe it is only when the deck is finished,
the cold wind touches your face,
and the coffee cup warms your hands,
that you finally realize how much your body has been trying to tell you all along.
📬 I am also creating a personal letter from my kitchen table here on Malix.se.
A quiet letter every other week about everyday life, ADHD, reflections and the things that sometimes never fully fit inside a blog post.
Feel free to email me at carina@malix.se if you would like to receive the letters in the future.
Carina Ikonen Nilsson
Yesterday already rests in history, tomorrow waits further ahead. But right now – this is where life happens.
🔗 More to read on Malix.se
👉 ADHD in everyday life – when my thoughts keep spinning and I need a pause
About recovery, cold swims and calming a mind that never fully slows down.
👉 Friday reflection – between structure and freedom in everyday life
About needing structure while still trying to leave room for freedom.
👉 Monday again – when the body speaks and life keeps moving forward
About exhaustion, everyday life and continuing anyway.
☕ If you would like to support my writing on Malix.se:
PayPal Me
📬 Subscribe to the blog and follow reflections about ADHD, everyday life, recovery and life between the lines:
Subscribe
Yesterday already rests in history, tomorrow waits further ahead. But right now – this is where life happens.
Lämna ett svar