ADHD and everyday life can sometimes feel like one big jumble of thoughts, ideas and different directions. But yesterday was one of those days that made me wonder whether what I have always called being scattered might actually be becoming a whole.
🇸🇪 Läs inlägget på svenska: Har jag inte ADHD längre – eller har jag bara hittat min helhet?
ADHD and everyday life – does everything really have to feel so scattered?
Do I still have ADHD – or have I simply found a way to bring all the different parts of me together?
Yesterday was one of those days I wish I could put in my pocket and keep.
Not because anything huge or extraordinary happened. Quite the opposite. It was mostly ordinary things.
My granddaughter. A mischievous dog. Ice cream. A whoopee cushion. A new bike. A swim. My app.
And yet, when I went to bed, I felt an enormous sense of gratitude.
A day together
Earlier in the day, I spent time with my granddaughter, and together we helped look after Bruno – the little, big and very mischievous dog.
And how we talked.
There is something special about moments like these. You don’t have to do anything extraordinary for time together to become valuable.
On the way home, we stopped at Coop. We bought ice cream and a whoopee cushion.
Yes, a whoopee cushion.
Sometimes that really is all it takes to create a great deal of happiness. It became very popular once it reached its new owner.
I left feeling happy.
Then my new e-bike was waiting
My new bike arrived yesterday, and of course the battery had to charge before its first proper ride.
When it was finally fully charged, my husband and I set off.
I had been looking forward to this, but I wasn’t quite sure what riding an e-bike would feel like.
Would the motor do almost everything?
No.
I chose to ride with some resistance, so I actually had to work. It wasn’t the same as riding an ordinary bike, but my legs were working and I could feel that I was using my body.
On the hills, however, I was very grateful for a little extra assistance.
By the time we finished, I had cycled 17 kilometres – 10.6 miles.
And do you know what?
It was great fun.
Movement as part of ADHD and everyday life
That naturally made me start thinking.
Yes, when I’m pedalling and physically exerting myself, it is movement and exercise even though the electric motor is helping me.
Exactly how many calories I burned is impossible to know without knowing things such as time, intensity and how much assistance I used. But something else is actually more important to me.
I moved my body for 17 kilometres and enjoyed doing it.
I also swam 200 metres during the day.
This is exactly the kind of movement I want more of. Not exercise as something I have to complete to be good enough, but movement that becomes a natural part of living.
And then I sat down with my app
In the evening, I continued working on the app I am building.
And another feeling appeared:
How did I manage to create this?
I can be someone who goes in many different directions.
I get one idea.
Then another.
And suddenly a third appears from somewhere completely different.
Sometimes I have seen that as a problem. As though I should choose one thing and stick to it.
But as I worked on my app, I realised something.
The different pieces are beginning to connect.
Movement. Food. Sleep. Stress. Green, yellow and red time. Cleaning in squares. Reflection. Compassion. Everyday structure.
Things I have thought about, written about and developed at different times are beginning to form a whole.
ADHD and everyday life – when the scattered pieces become a whole
Do I not have ADHD anymore?
The thought almost made me laugh.
Of course I still do.
I still have lots of ideas, and my brain still loves finding new paths.
But perhaps the solution isn’t to try to stop myself from going in different directions.
Perhaps it is about finding the connection between all those things that initially seem scattered.
What I once saw as ten completely different things may actually be ten pieces of the same puzzle.
And suddenly, I am beginning to see the picture.
Perhaps I am beginning to see the whole.
For me, ADHD and everyday life are increasingly about finding things that work together rather than trying to force myself into a way of living that doesn’t suit me.
And then I embarrassed myself at the swimming spot
There was a man sitting near the place where I wanted to change.
“Do you mind if I sit here and change?” I asked.
Of course I could, and then he started talking to me.
And he talked.
And talked.
After a while, I started thinking:
Goodness, he’s talking to me as though he knows me.
It turned out that he did.
We had worked at the same place!
There I was, with absolutely no idea who he was, while he clearly knew exactly who I was.
I was so embarrassed.
I’m usually quite good at remembering people, and when I finally started thinking about it, the memory returned. This wasn’t even someone I had simply happened to work alongside.
He had been a really good colleague whom I genuinely appreciated.
And I hadn’t recognised him.
It became another of those little moments from the day that stayed with me.
Isn’t memory strange?
A person can be standing right in front of us and our brain still can’t find the right drawer. Then one small clue appears – and suddenly the whole drawer opens.
There he was.
The colleague I had enjoyed working with.
I had simply misplaced him somewhere in my memory for a little while.
Between the lines
When I look back at the day, I realise just how much fitted into it.
My granddaughter and our long conversations. Bruno and all his mischief. Ice cream and a whoopee cushion. A swim and 200 metres in the water. An unexpected encounter with an old colleague whom I didn’t recognise at first. A 17-kilometre ride on my new bike with my husband. And in the evening, working on my app.
It almost sounds scattered when I list it all.
And perhaps that is exactly where something has changed for me.
For a long time, I have thought of myself as someone who is scattered. I get ideas, start thinking about something else, discover new connections and want to do many different things.
But what if everything doesn’t have to be sorted into separate little boxes?
The man at the swimming spot made me think about that too. At first, I saw a stranger talking to me as though we knew each other. Then the context returned – we had worked together, and he had been a colleague I really appreciated.
He hadn’t disappeared from my life.
My brain simply hadn’t found the right context yet.
Perhaps my ideas are a little like that too.
Cycling, swimming, food, everyday structure, compassion, my squares, green, yellow and red time, writing and the app can look like a collection of completely different things.
But when the context falls into place, I suddenly see how they belong together.
Perhaps I am still scattered.
The difference is that I am beginning to see the pattern within my own scattered way of being.
And somewhere in the middle of all this is life itself. Relationships, the body, laughter, creativity, memories and those little moments that could never have been planned.
Perhaps that is what I feel so grateful for after this day.
Not that I have stopped being me.
But that more and more of who I am is beginning to fit into the same whole.
Life doesn’t have to be perfect to be very, very good.
A few questions for you
Do you recognise the feeling of having many different interests, thoughts and ideas at the same time?
Have you ever discovered that something that initially seemed scattered was actually connected?
What has made you feel grateful lately?
And what kind of movement do you enjoy so much that it hardly feels like exercise?
Feel free to leave a comment and share your thoughts. I enjoy it when my own reflections get to meet other people’s experiences.
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Live here and now – life doesn’t come with a replay button.
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