Yesterday, I began returning to everyday life at home. First, I went to the lake for a swim. When my husband had left for work, I turned to the project of the day: cleaning the kitchen.
🇸🇪 Läs på svenska ADHD och konsten att sluta när jag äntligen har kommit igång
I have assigned the rooms in our house to different days of the week. One room at a time – so that I still have the energy to live, even when I clean.
Our routines have been rather irregular during the holiday, but now it is time to find my way back to them gently. So yesterday, I cleaned one square of the kitchen.
For me, it can be difficult to stop once I have got started, especially when my drive has kicked in.
One Room at a Time Gives Me More Energy
My way of cleaning one square at a time is similar to the method in the workbook I have created. I focus on one room and choose one small task to do a little more thoroughly each week.
It does not have to look like this for everyone. But this is the plan that works for me.
Cleaning should not take several hours either. Two hours is the longest I want to spend on it, but if I finish in half an hour, that is very good. After all, life is about much more than cleaning.
When the kitchen was finished yesterday, I still wanted to continue.
It was a small glimpse of how things used to be. In the past, when I cleaned, I cleaned the entire house. I continued until everything was done, even if it left both my body and my mind completely drained.
Perhaps I could still force my body through a whole day of cleaning. But then I would not have the energy to live afterwards. There would be no strength left for anything enjoyable, no energy for my family and no capacity to feel joy during the rest of the day.
I no longer want days like that.
In Spring, I Divided the Garden into Squares
I do not use this way of thinking only when I clean the house. In spring, I did the same thing in the garden.
I could decide:
Today, I will only work on this raised bed. Nothing more.
Or:
Today, I will only work on this side of the garden. The rest can wait.
It does not even have to be a literal square. What matters is that the task has a clear boundary.
The same applies indoors. I might repot all the plants in the bedroom and kitchen while allowing the plants in the rest of the house to wait for another day.
They can wait because I want to have energy left to live my life – not merely to keep doing things.
This is also connected to what I call green time – the recovery that needs room between our tasks.
When It Is Difficult to Stop
My thoughts still tried to persuade me:
You have neglected things during the holiday. You really need to do a little more.
You have enough energy for just a little more.
Think how good it would feel if you continued.
And, of course, I could have continued. There were more things to clean and more rooms that did not look the way I wanted them to.
But this time, I interrupted those thoughts and said aloud to myself:
No, that is enough. There will be another day tomorrow. Then it will be the bedroom’s turn.
I chose to stop.
Not because I was lazy. Not because I could not see everything else that needed doing. I stopped because I have created a routine that gives my body more vitality.
It does not matter that only one room is clean. Today, another room will be cleaned, and the following day I will take care of a third. Eventually, I will have worked my way through the whole house without wearing myself out along the way.
For me, this is connected to my ADHD. Doing the task itself is not always the most difficult part. Sometimes it is hard to begin, but once I have started, stopping can be just as difficult. That is when I need a firm boundary that is not determined by how much work remains.
Not Everything That Takes Time Drains My Energy
Of course, I do not work this way with everything.
If I decide to paint with my oil paints, it can be much harder to stop. Once I become absorbed in painting, I want to remain there.
The same thing happens when I work on my blog or write a text. Hours can pass without me noticing.
But for me, there is an important difference.
When I paint, write or do something creative, I enter a state of flow. Creativity often gives me energy instead of merely taking it away. I may still feel tired after a creative session, but it is not the same empty exhaustion I experience after forcing myself to clean the entire house.
So it is not only about how long I spend doing something. I also need to notice what the activity does to me.
Does it take all my strength?
Or does it give something back?
I Have Grown Wiser with Age
In the past, I found it difficult to stop once I had started. Perhaps I did not know when the next opportunity to clean would come. Perhaps I wanted to make the most of the energy while it was finally there.
But the cost was often too high.
After cleaning the entire house, I could become irritated when someone made a mess. I would be standing there without any energy left, thinking that everyone else ought to understand how much I had done.
Now I realise that it is not worth it.
The kitchen was cleaned yesterday. Today, the bedroom will be cleaned. Everything else can wait for its turn.
I have not stopped cleaning. I have simply stopped using all my energy at once.
Perhaps this is also a form of self-compassion: not only asking what I am capable of doing, but also asking how much of myself I need to have left when the work is finished.
Try Choosing Your Own Square
Choose one clearly defined task before you begin:
- one room, one raised bed or one part of a room
- one thing you want to do a little more thoroughly
- an approximate finishing time
- something you want to have energy left for afterwards
When the thought says just a little more, pause and ask:
Does this really need to be done now, or can it wait for its own day?
My workbook Städa i fyrkanter – när hemmet känns för stort grew out of this way of working. It was not created to help us clean more. It was created so that cleaning would not take all our energy.
👉 Read more about Cleaning One Square at a Time and my other tools for everyday life
The workbook is currently available in Swedish.
The square does not only show me where to begin. It also helps me recognise when enough is enough.
My materials are not created to make us achieve more. They are created to help us understand ourselves, use our energy more wisely and make everyday life work a little better.
A Reflection for All of Us
Sometimes, we do not need to ask how much more we can accomplish. Instead, we can pause and consider what we want to have energy left for when the task is finished.
We can choose one small part and allow it to be enough for today. One room, one raised bed, a few plant pots or a single surface.
When our thoughts say just a little more, we can ask ourselves:
- What have we already done?
- What will happen to our energy if we continue?
- What do we want to be able to do afterwards?
- Can the rest wait for its own day?
We do not have to finish everything for what we have done to count. Setting a boundary does not mean giving up. It means saving some of our energy for the life that continues afterwards.
Between the Lines
Stopping in time does not mean that I have given up. It means that I am choosing to save my energy for the rest of my life.
Life should not begin only when the whole house is clean or the entire garden is finished. Life is already happening.
Do you also find it difficult to stop once you have finally got started? Do you notice a difference between the things that drain your energy and those that give something back?
You May Also Like
Cleaning One Square at a Time is not yet available in English. However, Green Time and the introductory workbook Green, Yellow and Red Time are available in English.
- Cleaning One Square at a Time – When Your Home Feels Overwhelming
- Green Time – Why Recovery Between Tasks Matters
- More Posts About ADHD in Everyday Life
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Yesterday has already settled into history. Tomorrow is waiting further ahead. But right now – this is where life is happening.
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