When I discovered another blogger who was also blogging in two languages, I suddenly felt very small. Comparison stepped in. But with trauma-knowledge, compassion, and a bit of humor, I chose pride instead. There is enough room in this world for both of us.
Read this post in Swedish ->Blogga på två språk – Vi är två som vågar
I found her today.
Another woman writing in both Swedish and English.
And immediately something was triggered in me:
“Hey, that’s my thing.
Who are you?
And please don’t think I’m copying you.”
It was as if my inner child jumped onto a chair shouting:
“Copycat alert. Protect yourself.”
My body agreed.
Trauma works fast — it reacts long before the mind has time to understand what is happening.
The red circle lit up:
“Make yourself small. Be careful. Someone is taking your place.”
Blogging in two languages
We are doing completely different things
She writes about gardening, soil, and ecological dreams.
Butterfly beds, seeds, Bokashi — a whole green universe.
Me?
I write about trauma the body remembers.
I write about cold-water dips and the inner life that demands both courage and coffee.
She has her hands in the earth.
I have my feet in freezing water.
She grows flowers.
I grow courage.
She helps the outside world bloom.
I help the inside world breathe.
And still, I felt fear.
Attachment whispered: “You are not good enough”
That is the part of me that carries old memories:
that I must perform well to be allowed to exist,
that I must be unique to be worthy.
But then the responsible adult in me whispered:
“You have been blogging since 2009.
nearly 4000 posts.
Your words have carried you for decades.”
I am not new here.
I am not a copy.
Blogging in two languages – and still being yourself
When I saw she started writing in English in September,
because she has English-speaking readers who want to follow along —
I sat here laughing at myself.
“Oh right. The world does not revolve around me or my blog.”
Logic stepped in and said gently:
“This is not about you, dear heart.”
My feelings stepped back a little
and made space for something soft and good.
Green circle – I choose my emotion actively
Compassion stepped closer and whispered:
“It is okay to feel this way. I am here with you.”
And I told my body:
“Thank you for trying to protect me.
But today I choose something different.”
I choose pride.
I choose joy.
I choose both of us.
What if something beautiful grows from this?
I am a greenhouse beginner.
She seems like a professional in gardening.
I used trial-and-error therapy on my tomatoes last summer.
What if she has tips I could learn from.
What if she can inspire me.
And what if I
have inspired her
to dare writing in English.
All these what-ifs
create something warm inside me.
Win-win-win.
A new follower she will get.
And she will get me:
A cold-water-swimming feelings-nerd,
with trauma knowledge and a soul-driven pen,
growing on the inside and in the greenhouse.
Final words – I own my place, my voice, my story
I do not grow by shrinking myself.
Nor by shrinking anyone else.
My place does not get smaller.
It grows
when I allow both her and myself to be brave.
We can both be good.
We can inspire each other.
We can be different — and still equally courageous.
She digs in the soil.
I dig in the heart.
And together we make the world a little more alive.
In our own ways.
Through the power of words.
A question for you, dear reader
Have you ever felt small for a while,
only to realize that the world grew larger
when you let the feeling finish its swim?
Feel free to share.
We grow when we dare to be seen.
A blog I found inspiring
If you want to learn more about gardening, butterfly beds, and green living:
https://levnadskonst.com/
P.S. The blogging world becomes more beautiful when we find each other.
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Also read:
Trauma the body remembers – coping strategies and self-healing
Children do well if they can – dignity, pain, and responsibility in everyday life
Yesterday has already settled into history.
Tomorrow is waiting further ahead.
But right now — this is where life happens.
— Carina Ikonen Nilsson
