Jag har ofta känt mig ensam i mina känslor. Därför skriver jag. Jag vill att andra ska veta att känslor inte är farliga. De ska få finnas, förstås och få plats i livet. När vi lämnas ensamma med dem blir de svåra att bära.
Jag skriver inte när jag måste, utan när orden söker upp mig. De kommer till mig när jag går ner till sjön, vid köksbordet, i bilen eller när jag ska sova och hjärnan bestämmer sig för att nu är tiden rätt. Orden är min andning, och andningen är en förutsättning för livet. Skrivandet hjälper mig att fortsätta förstå mig själv, och världen omkring mig.
Ensam i sina känslor – men inte ensam om dem
Nu när jag studerar igen landar allt jag skriver på ett nytt sätt. Orden får luta sig mot kunskap jag samlat genom åren – i möten, i erfarenheter och i teorier som nu fått en hemvist i mig. Det jag tidigare kämpade för att förstå har fått sammanhang. Teorierna blir inte längre bara ord på ett papper, de blir en del av min verklighet, mitt liv och mitt arbete.
Att möta ungdomar – och mig själv
I mitt arbete möter jag ungdomar som ofta bär känslor som ingen fått syn på. De har lärt sig hålla ihop, eller att gå sönder så högt att någon ska reagera. När jag skriver försöker jag förstå mina egna skyddsmekanismer lika mycket som jag försöker förstå deras. För att kunna möta andra behöver jag också möta mig själv.
Och kanske är det därför morgondoppen blivit en så viktig del av mitt liv. I det kalla vattnet finns inga fasader. Första steget är alltid motstånd, kroppen ropar att den vill vända. Men när jag stannar kvar, andas, låter vattnet bära mig – då händer samma sak som när jag skriver. Jag ser att jag överlever också det som känns obekvämt. Jag blir starkare för varje dopp.
Badsystrar och KASAM
Ingen ska behöva känna sig ensam i sina känslor, inte i det förflutna och inte i nuet.
Det är inte bara själva doppet som betyder något. Det är att vi gör det tillsammans. Där bor även ett KASAM – en känsla av sammanhang. Vi badsystrar möts i gryningen, innan världen riktigt vaknat. Vi pratar ibland, är tysta ibland – men vi är alltid i våra jag, i samma upplevelse. Vi badar oavsett väder eller vind. I den stunden är vi fullt närvarande, i en bubbla där ingen behöver förklara vem hon är. Det gör något med oss. Det stärker oss. Det binder oss samman.
Det har funnits perioder i mitt liv där jag varit omgiven av människor men ändå varit ensam i det jag känt. Den ensamheten vill jag bryta genom att skriva. Och varje gång någon läser och känner igen sig – då blir vi två som bär. Då blir känslan mindre tung.
Bloggstatistiken har blivit ett oväntat kvitto på att orden når fram. Klick och siffror är inga svar i sig, men de visar att någon har hittat hit. Någon i Sverige. Någon i USA. Någon jag aldrig kommer möta – men som kanske behövde just de här orden. Det säger mig att vi aldrig är ensamma om det vi känner, även om det kan kännas så.
Varför jag skriver, Ensam i sina känslor
Jag skriver för att orden finns och för att jag behöver dem. Men jag skriver också för att någon annan kanske behöver dem lika mycket. Känslor är inte farliga. De hjälper oss att förstå var vi kommer ifrån och vart vi är på väg. De känslor som en gång räddade mig kan idag hindra mig från att leva fullt ut. Därför fortsätter jag skriva – för att våga växa, våga leva och dela den resan med andra.
Frågor till dig som läser Känner du igen dig i känslan av att vara ensam i dina känslor? Vad hjälper dig att stanna kvar när något känns svårt? Har du ett eget sätt att hitta sammanhang — som badet, skrivandet eller samtalet?
Reflektion
När vi delar det vi känner blir livet mindre ensamt att leva. Jag vet idag att vi aldrig är ensamma i våra känslor, även när vi tror det.
Mellan raderna – min röst
Mellan orden finns stillhet. Jag skriver inte längre för att förstå, utan för att dela det jag redan lärt mig. Här får känslorna vila utan kamp – och jag med dem.
Igår kan bära känslor som hör till då, men ibland hittar de fram i nuet. En del av dem behövde vi en gång, för att överleva eller orka vidare. Men idag kan samma känslor mest ställa till med oreda och hålla oss tillbaka.
Det är just när de dyker upp i nuet som vi får möjlighet att jobba med dem. Då kan vi släppa gamla strategier och ge plats för det liv vi vill leva imorgon.
I have often felt alone in my emotions, and I know that many people share that experience. Feeling alone in emotions can be heavy, and that is why I write.
I do not write because I should. I write when the words come to me. They arrive when I walk down to the lake, when I pour my morning coffee, or when the house is quiet and I can finally hear my own thoughts. Sometimes they appear just when I am about to fall asleep, reminding me that silence can no longer hold everything. Writing is how I breathe, and breathing is how I continue living.
When studies give my words a place to land
Now that I am studying again, everything I write lands differently. The words lean on the knowledge I have gathered through the years – through conversations, through all the people I have met, through theories that once felt distant but now make sense. What I struggled to grasp before has a place in my life today. Concepts no longer float outside of me; they have become part of who I am and how I understand others.
Meeting young people – and myself
Working with young people has shown me how common feeling alone in emotions can be. They have learned to keep everything inside or break loudly enough for someone to notice. When I write, I try to understand my own protective strategies as much as I try to understand theirs. To support others, I must be willing to meet myself.
The morning dip – staying with what feels uncomfortable
Perhaps that is why cold morning swims have become so important to me. The first step into the water always comes with resistance. The body wants to run. But when I stay, when I breathe, when I let the cold hold me without fighting it, something shifts. The same thing happens in writing. I learn that I can survive discomfort. I am stronger each time I choose to remain in the moment.
Belonging, KASAM, and the bad sisters
It is not only the swim that matters. It is that we do it together. There is a sense of coherence – KASAM – in meeting my “bad sisters” at dawn, before the world wakes up. Sometimes we talk, sometimes we are silent, but we share the same courage. We swim no matter the weather. In that moment, there is nothing to prove. We are simply ourselves. It strengthens us. It connects us. It gives us a place to belong.
Feeling Alone in Emotions – When the Text Reaches Others
There have been times in my life when I was surrounded by people and still felt alone in what I felt inside. Writing is my way of breaking that isolation. And every time someone reads and thinks, “This is how it feels for me too,” then the burden is already shared by two.
Even my blog statistics have become a quiet reminder that words travel. Someone in Sweden. Someone in the United States. Someone I will never meet who needed a sentence or a moment of recognition. Statistics are not the goal, but they are evidence that human experience is universal.
Why I write
I write because the words exist and because I need them. I write so that others do not have to feel alone in their emotions. Emotions are not the enemy. They help us understand where we come from and where we are going. The emotions that once protected me can hold me back today. That is why I continue writing: to make room for healing, courage, and forward movement.
Questions for you as a reader Do you recognize the feeling of being alone in your emotions? What helps you stay when something feels uncomfortable? Where do you find your own sense of belonging — in water, in words, or in connection?
Between the Lines – My Voice
Between the words, there is stillness. I no longer write to understand, but to share what I’ve already learned. Here, emotions can rest without struggle – and so can I.
Reflection
Sharing what we feel makes life less lonely to live. Writing reminds me that none of us are truly feeling alone in emotions.
Carina Ikonen Nilsson
Yesterday can carry emotions that belonged to then, but sometimes they show up in the present. Some of them once helped us survive what we could not change. Today, those same emotions may only create confusion and hold us back. It is exactly when they appear in the present moment that we get the chance to work with them, to release old strategies and give space to the life we want tomorrow. The present always matters, even in our emotions.
This post is about the INFJ Florence Nightingale Personality and how this type shows up in real life.
I am an INFJ – the Florence Nightingale type – and this is the story of how empathy, curiosity about the human mind, cold morning swims, and a lifelong calling led me to become a future therapeutic counselor.
When my work team took a Jungian personality assessment years ago, the purpose was simple: to understand how our differences made us stronger together.
The theory behind the test comes from Carl Gustav Jung, who once worked closely with Sigmund Freud. Freud looked backward — into trauma, the unconscious, and what has hurt us. Jung looked forward — into meaning, potential, and who we can become.
My result was INFJ, often called The Advocate — or the Florence Nightingale personality.
It was not a surprise. But it gave me a moment of understanding: “Perhaps this is how others see me.” And there was something comforting in that.
An INFJ in Real Life
Seeing the Human Beyond the Behavior
I have always been more interested in the inside of people than the outside. Where thoughts live. What keeps a soul standing. What makes someone continue even when life hurts.
I have read psychology the way others read novels — seeking to understand what shapes us.
Very early in my life, my grandmother noticed it. She taught me that every person carries gifts, even when the surface looks broken. She always saw talent — never flaws. And that has followed me into every meeting with another human being.
I still take morning swims — a ritual I inherited from her. She swam in the sea, I swim in the lake. Different waters — but the same feeling of freedom and life.
Following an Inner Compass
No matter how my workplace changed, I always worked with people.
My aunt cared for children who needed a home. I looked up to her. She made a difference — while the difference was still possible. I believe the first seed of my path was planted right there.
At 24, I began working at SiS, with young people placed outside society. That is where I discovered that conversation is my most powerful tool. Not rules. Not threats. But a chair, two people, and the courage to speak the truth.
Later, I worked within LSS, where safety and respect allowed people to blossom — from the inside out.
Then came the years with unaccompanied minors — trauma and hope in the same heartbeat. One day relief. The next day fear of being pushed into the unknown again.
Eventually, I returned to SiS. A full circle. So many wounded spirits, shaped by exclusion and harsh words — and still a spark of belief remained. One day. Maybe.
When Life Knocks — Once More
The question came: “Can you take one more child?”
My heart answered before my mind. One more. One last time.
I resigned from my job as a treatment pedagogue to be where I was needed the most: here at home.
Not as a job. But as a way of living.
We Make Room Together
A Place to Land
This is not just my journey. My family carries with me. We make room — in our home, and in our hearts.
Here, you are allowed to arrive. To find pieces of yourself again. To grow in safety. To believe again.
Consequences Are Not Punishment
Life Is a Better Teacher
Here at home, reality guides:
If you sleep too little — you get tired. If you do not eat — you get hungry. If you neglect relationships — they change.
Punishment is about power. Consequences are about life. And life teaches better than threats ever will.
A Step Further — The Power of Conversation
I am now studying to become a Certified Therapeutic Counselor. I am putting words and methods to what I have already lived: meeting people where they are.
I am learning:
CBT
MI
ART
Low arousal approaches
Positive psychology and Flow
CFT
Mindfulness
But everything comes down to one thing: The human connection.
When Methods Live in the Body
Low arousal has always been my way of responding. To stay calm when someone else has lost theirs. Because emotions spread — so mine must be safe.
Motivational Interviewing has been my language. Seeing what is possible, even in chaos.
I have worked creatively with ART: What hides behind anger? What did you really want to say — before it came out wrong?
And mindfulness — a way of living, here and now. Most clearly felt in the cold water during morning swims. A moment where my body, breath and soul are one. Where my sense of coherence returns: I am here. I can do this. I belong.
What Does a Therapeutic Counselor Do?
A therapeutic counselor
listens without judging
helps someone find their own answers
provides tools that work in real life
carries hope when needed
To understand before we change. That is where Jung and my compass meet.
The Future
Free Training Sessions
Right now, I offer free practice sessions as part of my training. Together we explore:
Who is steering your ship? Is the map still yours? Does your compass point where you want to go?
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