Breaktime can be the highlight of the school day for many children: freedom, play, and friendship.
But for Oskar, it’s often the opposite – a place where the social codes are hidden, the sounds too loud, and loneliness quietly grows.
Oskar series breaktime. From Small Demands to Big Obstacles
In earlier parts of this series, we’ve seen how small demands can become huge hurdles (Part 2), how daily energy levels set the pace (Part 3), and how the safety of home creates balance (Part 4). Last week we talked about circle time. Now we step outside – to the schoolyard.
When Free Time Feels Like an Obstacle Course
During recess, children are expected to find their own place in the games. But what happens if you don’t know how to join the soccer match, or if the noise and crowding feel overwhelming?
For Oskar, breaktime can feel like another obstacle course. Where others see rest, he sees a wall of questions: “Who should I be with? What should I do? What happens if I do it wrong?”
Oskar series breaktime and the Invisible Rules / The Body Reacts on the Schoolyard
Outside, there are no walls to soften the sounds.
Shouts. Whistles. The bumps of a football game. Chairs scraping inside the lunchroom – all mixing into a storm of impressions.
For Oskar it isn’t just annoying – his body reacts.
His heart races.
His head aches.
His shoulders tighten.
Sometimes he tries to shut down completely, just to survive the minutes until the bell rings.
Oskar series breaktime and the Invisible Rules / The Hidden Code
The schoolyard runs on an unwritten code.
Who picks the teams? Who starts the game? Who is included?
For Oskar, it feels like everyone else already knows the rules – but no one explains them.
When he tries to join, he guesses what’s right. Maybe he runs the wrong way in the game or joins at the wrong moment. To him it’s an effort to belong. To others it may look like he’s ruining the fun.
Soon the words come: “Teacher, Oskar is messing it up!”
Each time it happens another stone drops into Oskar’s backpack. Instead of rest and friendship, breaktime becomes a reminder of being left out.
Breaktime and the Invisible Rules / When Loneliness Takes Over
From a distance, Oskar might look like he wants to be alone. Inside, he’s calling out to be included.
He kicks the gravel. Walks in circles. Fidgets with something in his pocket.
But inside he is shouting, “Please let me play.”
The difference between what adults see and what Oskar feels is huge – and the loneliness adds yet another weight to his backpack.
Keys to Participation
Recess doesn’t have to mean chaos. Small adjustments can make all the difference:
An adult nearby to step in when things get overwhelming.
Safe zones – a bench or corner where an adult is always present.
A plan for recess so choices don’t feel endless and stressful.
Breaktime and the Invisible Rules / Play Then and Now
When I went to school in the 1970s, recess monitors often led the games.
Teachers gathered children and played classics like “Ria ra ria ra, vad har du här att göra?”, “Tingeling i tåget” or “Bro bro bränna”. Sometimes they helped with long ropes or started games where everyone could join.
We also created our own games, like marbles. We lined up, aimed carefully, and tried to knock over a small target to win more marbles – often staying after school to keep playing.
Play Leaders in Today’s Schools
Today, many schools still have recess monitors, but they often just watch.
Some schools are now training play leaders – older children who start games for the younger ones. It’s a beautiful idea, especially when supported by adults. Play leaders feel seen, learn responsibility, and become role models, while younger children gain a natural way into play.
Relationships Are Born in Play
I think of my own work with teenagers. On the residential unit we often joined whatever the youths were doing – card games, drawing, baking, talking in the moment.
It wasn’t about controlling, but about creating community. Everyone could join if they wanted, even those aged 14–19.
If that worked there, why not on a schoolyard?
When adults are part of the play or conversation, the risk of bullying and exclusion shrinks. Community grows, and children like Oskar naturally find a place.
Most important of all: shared play builds relationships – bridges of trust between children and adults.
A Bigger Perspective
It may sound idealistic, but imagine if we invested more resources early – in preschool and the first school years.
If children like Oskar were supported before loneliness became a habit.
Because children who don’t find belonging often drift toward others who also stand outside. When isolation meets isolation, the road can bend sharply – toward social services, investigations, even placements in secure youth care.
I’m not saying secure care is wrong; I’ve worked there. It can be necessary. But so many of the youths I’ve met might never have needed that path if, early on, adults had played with them and built relationships right there on the schoolyard.
Between the Lines
This isn’t about removing recess. It’s about making it accessible – so freedom doesn’t turn into chaos, but becomes a real chance for every child to recover and connect.
Reflection
For Oskar, recess can mean loneliness and anxiety. But with clear structures, adult presence, and small keys to inclusion, it can instead become a breathing space – a place where belonging grows.
Every time it works, a feather is added to his backpack instead of a stone.
Why can recess be difficult for children with neurodivergence? Because the rules are often invisible. A child may feel excluded when everyone else already knows how to join in.
What can a recess monitor do? Start a game, gather children, or step in when conflicts arise. That can be the difference between loneliness and belonging.
How can we create structure during recess? With visual supports, a recess plan, or a reliable safe place to go.
Are adult-led activities helpful? Yes, sometimes a guided game gives children a natural way to join, creating both safety and joyful movement.
After six parts, Oskar’s story will rest for a while. All previous chapters remain here on malix.se for you to revisit anytime. When new ideas and energy return, the journey will go on – but for now, I let the words breathe.
Yesterday has already settled into history, tomorrow waits somewhere ahead. But right now – this is where life happens. — Carina Ikonen Nilsson
Circle time and the unwritten rules can be a soft start to the day for many children. For Oskar, it becomes something completely different – a place full of hidden expectations, strong impressions, and anxiety about the unexpected. But it’s also here that adults can create safety, through clear preparation and small adjustments.
In earlier parts of the series, we saw how Oskar finds safety in routines at home (Part 4), how small demands can become barriers (Part 2), and how his daily form determines his energy (Part 3). Circle time brings all of this together.
Everyone is expected to sit in a circle. No one should speak out of turn. Someone sings, others wait. It’s as if every child already received a manual – except Oskar.
For him, circle time becomes an obstacle course before the day has even begun. If he moves too much, asks out loud, or sighs, he quickly hears: “Sit still, Oskar” or “Wait for your turn.”
And sometimes it gets even harder. If another child accidentally brushes against him, Oskar experiences it as a hit. His body reacts immediately – sounds, singing, and movements around him amplify the chaos.
Safety in circle time and the unwritten rules
Small adjustments can change everything.
Assigned seat – When Oskar always knows where to sit in circle time, the cafeteria, or the auditorium, he doesn’t need to waste energy worrying.
Preparation in advance – Visiting a new place before it’s used gives him security. Seeing the room, the chair, and knowing “this is my spot” makes a difference.
Clock or turn-taking support – A simple clock can show: “When the hand points to five past, it’s your turn.”
A clear role – Sometimes it’s enough for Oskar to say “Good morning” or announce the day.
Picture schedules or checkpoints – As a younger child, he might need picture symbols. As he grows older, he can help decide the checkpoints together with adults.
Just as routines gave him safety at home (Part 4), these small solutions can make circle time a place where Oskar dares to participate.
The adults’ perspective
For some adults, Oskar seems like “the child who disturbs.” But those who pause see a child struggling with invisible rules and overwhelming impressions.
Sitting next to him, whispering quiet explanations, or giving him a prepared role doesn’t take long – but it can make all the difference.
More about adaptations can be found at Autism Sweden.
Questions for you as a reader
Have you seen children become anxious when rules aren’t clear?
How can you create safety in circle time – at school or at home?
Could pictures, checkpoints, or an assigned seat be the key for more children like Oskar?
Between the lines
This isn’t about forcing every child to sit the same way. It’s about giving each child a place where they can succeed.
Reflection
For Oskar, circle time can feel like an obstacle course. But with clarity, preparation, and small adjustments, it can become a bridge to belonging. When adults show the way, children can relax and grow.
What is a picture schedule? A picture schedule is a row of images that shows the order of activities. It helps children prepare and feel safe.
Why do pictures work better than words for some children? Pictures are concrete and remain even when words fade. For many children with NPF, pictures are therefore an easier support.
What are checkpoints in circle time? Checkpoints are simple steps, for example: First we greet, then we choose a song, then we talk about the weekend.
Why is an assigned seat important? When a child knows where to sit, their anxiety decreases. For Oskar, seeing the place in advance can be crucial.
Welcome here! In this post I share something I rarely do – I look back at the blog’s numbers. For me it’s not about the numbers themselves, but about blogging development and writing: what the statistics reveal about which themes resonate and how the blog is growing.
I don’t write for numbers. Yet numbers can tell a story – they can reflect where my voice carries, which themes touch readers, and how the blog keeps moving forward. Looking at August, I don’t just see charts and percentages. I see stories about writing.
When the Oskar series was read – in Sweden and beyond
During August, the Oskar series climbed to the top. Posts about motivation, daily form, and even the struggle of tying shoelaces became the most read.
It warmed my heart to see that these posts mattered, because the subject is so important. We often say: “There’s at least one child in every class.” There is so much here that can make a difference.
Perhaps my words don’t immediately change classroom situations – change takes time. But maybe they planted a seed, sparked a new thought, or gave someone something to carry with them for a while.
Reflection and blogging development and writing through emotions and everyday lifeReflektion och bloggutveckling och skrivande genom känslor och vardag
This tells me I must keep writing about Oskar. The topic has so many vital parts: the children themselves, their parents, their teachers, and everyone around them. For example: why isn’t Oskar invited to birthday parties? Why do parent-teacher conferences become something no one looks forward to?
Grandmother, emotions, and relationships
One of the most read posts was about being a grandmother. This shows that the most personal and emotional posts touch readers deeply. When I dare to write from the heart, the words find their way.
For me, the grandmother role holds both love and pain. Writing about it reveals I’m not alone. Somewhere out there, someone recognizes the loneliness and grief of not being able to see their grandchildren.
This needs to be voiced. Not to shift responsibility, but to lift the shame from the feelings. It hurts every day, yet it’s important to share. Important to live life, even when there’s no place for me as a grandmother right now.
Every day I think of my grandchildren. How are they doing? Do they believe I’ve forgotten them? Do they know I love them even if we don’t meet?
I wish life looked different. Maybe it never will. All I can hope for is that one day they will know – the love was always there.
Motorhome life as everyday joy
My journeys with our motorhome LVL² return again and again among the most read posts.
Motorhome life and blogging development and writing – freedom on wheels
Motorhome life is freedom. You can stop wherever you are, and the endless chores disappear. You can’t spend hours cleaning a motorhome – it’s done quickly. That leaves time for reflection and relationships, which brings me peace.
Right now, at the end of the season, I feel both anxiety and calm. Anxiety that it’s ending soon. Calm, because the motorhome gives me a break from daily life. And also calm in knowing that soon it will be candlelight season at home, with the fire burning in the stove, and cozy evenings returning.
Maybe it’s recognition that makes others read. Maybe it’s the dream of freedom. Either way, I’m glad these posts come alive, because many of my words are born on our trips.
Blogging development and writing. The blog began speaking two languages
One of the biggest surprises was that the USA suddenly surpassed Sweden in traffic. English versions of my texts opened doors to an entirely new audience.
It really started with my husband. He asked: “Why don’t you write in English too?” I thought: “Yes, why don’t I?” I tried once, then again – and now it’s become a habit.
That readers in the US actually follow along feels amazing. At the same time, I wonder what they find here that’s meaningful to them.
Writing in English didn’t just become a technical shift – it became an opening to the world.
Blogging development and writing
Statistics are more than numbers – they’re a mirror of where my writing truly connects.
When I write close to the heart, I get the most clicks.
When I share everyday life, readers return.
When I dare to open up in English, the audience grows beyond Sweden.
Perhaps this is what blogging development is really about. Not chasing trends, but seeing where I am most true.
Reflection
August taught me that blogging development and writing is not either/or – everyday life, travels, emotions, and NPF (neurodivergence) all belong side by side. It’s the mix that gives the blog its strength.
I’ve never seen myself as someone who can read statistics. For me, they’ve always been numbers speaking another language. But maybe these numbers can help me grow.
I’ve learned something new these past months. When I nerd down into the blog, when I dare to try new things – that’s when I develop. Keywords, transition words, and SEO used to feel boring. Now, strangely enough, I find them almost fun.
For me, blogging development and writing is not about chasing numbers – it’s about being true to myself and letting the words find their way.
But I don’t chase numbers. I write because I can, and because I want to.
Between the lines – my voice
This post isn’t really about statistics. It’s about me. About how I use every experience – even charts and percentages – to understand life and writing more deeply.
Between the lines I’m saying: I’m on my way. I’m growing. And I’m sharing that journey with you.
AHA – between the lines
Statistics can be more than numbers. When I view them through the heart, they become a map of where my words find home.
What grows most in reader numbers is also what grows most in me: the courage to write about Oskar, the pain and love of being a grandmother, the freedom of motorhome life, and the step into English.
Question to you as a reader
What in your life would you write about – even if you didn’t know whether anyone would read it?
FAQ – Blogging Development and Writing
? What does blogging development mean? Blogging development is about following your own journey as a writer and seeing how the blog grows through content, structure, and the meeting with readers.
? Do you need to understand statistics to develop your blog? No, but statistics can provide insights. They show which posts touch readers most and where they find their way to your writing.
? What is most important for a blog to grow? Writing close to the heart, daring to be personal, and also thinking about readability – like headings, clear structure, and SEO.
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KonMari in everyday life can change more than expected. Sick days turned into tidier closets, my son’s humor brought Volbeat on vinyl, and the Oskar series moves forward with a story about school recess and the dream of a better school.
The little one has been sick for a few days, so we’ve mostly stayed indoors. Still, the days tend to blur together when you’re just hanging around. Every morning I write down my goals – a to-do list for the day – but often they remain untouched.
Eventually, though, something happens. Suddenly I had energy, and this time it went straight into the closet.
KonMari in Everyday Life and the Feeling of Order
That messy closet has been staring at me for ages. With the KonMari method in mind, I started folding, sorting, and creating some breathing space. Maybe not much ended up in the donation pile, but still, it felt different: airy, lighter, more structured.
Not finished yet, but tank tops, t-shirts, and sweaters are folded with KonMari in everyday life. Next step: shirts ironed, folded, and more shelves for dresses to hang beside.
Therefore, even doing the laundry down in the basement feels better now. And there in the basement stands my old stereo system, collecting dust. Even though it has been unused for years, I’ve held on to it. Maybe it’s finally time to let it go? After all, we have the new record player in the living room – simple, wireless through Bluetooth, and so much easier than all those cables.
My Son’s Humor and the Gentleman in the Sofa
A few days ago, my son came home with a vinyl. A double LP by Volbeat. He had a grin on his face and pretended nothing was going on. I was in the kitchen stirring pots when he suddenly called out: – Carina, you’ve got a gentleman visitor on the sofa.
I looked confused. “No, I don’t,” I replied. But he insisted. When I walked into the living room, there they were: two records, neatly placed in my spot on the sofa. A rather quiet company – but then, once we put one of them on, the room filled with life, energy, and a wonderful noise.
My son’s gift – Volbeat on vinyl, humorously introduced as “gentleman visitors” in the sofa.
I must admit, Volbeat hadn’t been something I listened to actively before. At least not until now. But since these records moved in, they’ve spun many times. My son’s humor in how he presented them made it even more fun. To receive “gentleman visitors” in the form of vinyls – that’s top-notch humor in my book.
Our music wall at home – Volbeat on the turntable and other vinyl favorites in the room.
Oskar Series and Next Week’s Post
Today, I don’t have many big plans except to keep working on the next part of the Oskar series. This time it’s about school recess – those moments that should have been free and fun, but instead often became a struggle.
One of my own pencil drawings – for me it symbolizes how a child may withdraw when the world becomes too much. In the Oskar series, I want to show that behind every silence there is a story we need to listen to.
When I read through what I had written, tears came to my eyes. Maybe it says more about me than the text itself, but still, I believe it will touch hearts. I want to show both the difficulties and a kind of utopia: imagine if recess could become a place where adults joined in, where play was something everyone was invited into, and where children could feel seen and safe.
That’s why I feel this next post is one of the most important I’ve written in the series so far.
Do you usually make lists for your days? Do you stick to them – or do they end up like mine, lying around?
What do you fill your days with when you’re not working? Here, I fill mine with blogging, supporting young people, keeping the home in order, and cooking. And sometimes, I even find space to enjoy life, take care of myself, and feel good.
Reflection
The strange thing is how sick days can turn into days of change. Sometimes all it takes is a folded shirt, a tidied drawer, or a vinyl that surprises you – and suddenly, life feels lighter to live.
AHA – Between the Lines
Creating order in the closet is not just practical. It also becomes a symbol of making space in life – for new records, new laughter, and new stories.
Motivating circumstances and invisible support start long before the lesson begins. Whether Oskar has slept well, eaten breakfast, suffers from a headache, or carries worry with him – all of it shapes what the day will bring. In this part of the Oskar Series, I want to highlight how adults can read the daily form, find the core of motivation, and be the invisible support that truly makes a difference.
In the previous parts of the Oskar Series, I wrote about children’s unique strengths (Part 1) and about how small everyday demands, like tying shoelaces, can overshadow what really matters (Part 2). Now I want to take the next step and talk about something I often repeat when I lecture:
Motivation Beats Class
Already in Freud’s time, it was said: without motivation, we do nothing. This is just as true today. All the methods, rules, and lesson plans in the world don’t matter if the child doesn’t feel motivated.
For Oskar, it is never enough that adults say “you have to.” He needs a reason. And that reason must come from within himself – his interests, his daily form, and his energy.
When we find his motivation, we also find Oskar.
Pencil drawing of a child in a hoodie sitting quietly by the water – a symbol of Oskar’s need for motivating circumstances and invisible support
Understanding Motivating Circumstances and Invisible Support
Oskar’s energy doesn’t start in the classroom. It starts the evening before. Did he sleep well or was he awake half the night? Did he eat breakfast or come to school hungry? Does he have a headache, or did the morning begin with conflict at home?
All these small details become motivating circumstances. They determine whether he can tie his shoes, take part in group work, or even enter the classroom.
That means we adults need to be curious about Oskar every single day. What is he carrying with him today? Sometimes this information even needs to come earlier – through good collaboration between home and school. When teachers know that the night was restless or breakfast ended in chaos, they can adjust their expectations and responses.
Understanding daily form is not about giving excuses – it is about giving us, the adults, the opportunity to adapt and provide the right invisible support.
Motivation as a Bridge
Motivation can never be forced. But we can find it in Oskar’s interests – world records, facts, statistics. When we use those, motivation becomes a bridge between his world and ours.
Instead of saying: “You have to join P.E.”, we can say: “Could you measure the jumps and keep the statistics?”
Suddenly, Oskar is involved – in his own way.
Invisible Support – and the Relationship as the Foundation
Invisible support is most important when the daily form is at its lowest. When everything has gone wrong, when his energy is gone, and when Oskar no longer has the strength to try.
That support doesn’t say: “You failed again.” It says: “That was an attempt. Let’s try again.”
Sometimes it means just sitting beside him. Sometimes it means being a playmate – because learning also happens through games and moments of play.
But no matter the form, one thing is more important than all else: the relationship. Without a relationship, no method or manual will work. The relationship is A and O – the starting point for both safety and motivation.
Questions for You as a Reader
Do you believe motivation is more important than demands – or are there things every child must learn?
Have you seen a child grow when someone embraced their interest?
How can adults become better at recognizing when it is the right day – and when it is not?
Between the Lines
This is not about shoelaces or rules. It is about daring to see the child and ask: What makes you want to?Motivating circumstances and invisible support are not requirements – they are keys.
Reflection
We cannot control a child’s daily form. But we can control our response. And when we find motivation, we also find the paths that both we and the child can walk together.
Yesterday has already settled into history, tomorrow is waiting in the distance. But right now – this is where life happens. – Carina Ikonen Nilsson
FAQ – The Oskar Series Part 3
What do motivating circumstances mean? They are the conditions that make a child able and willing to participate. For Oskar, it could be having slept well, eaten breakfast, or avoiding a headache. It also requires curious adults and collaboration between home and school.
Why is motivation more important than demands? Because without motivation, nothing happens. Demands may create resistance, while motivation opens doors to learning, participation, and growth.
What does “Motivation beats class” mean? It reminds us that even the best classroom and the best teaching will miss the mark if the child lacks motivation. Motivation is always the foundation for learning.
How can Oskar be supported through invisible support? By being present even when things fall apart. It could mean sitting quietly nearby, playing a game, or saying: “That was an attempt – let’s try again.” Above all, it is built on relationship.
On Saturday we went to a lovely birthday party at our neighbor’s place – she’s the one who creates those beautiful YouTube clips for small children, educational and playful. As always, there was joy, laughter, and a warm atmosphere.
Gothenburg visit to our youngest son
Yesterday we headed to Gothenburg to visit our youngest son, who moved there last autumn. He and his girlfriend had just returned from Greece, sun-kissed and full of stories. We had coffee, checked out their now fully furnished apartment, and admired the cozy sofa he had built on their balcony. Honestly, I could imagine living out there myself! They had also reupholstered the headboard of their bed with a beautiful fabric – so creative and personal.
The plan was to have dinner at their place, but since we were quite a few, we decided to go out instead. Pizzas were ordered, and I chose a kebab salad – which, I must say, had very little salad in it. And when you choose a salad, you actually expect it to be filled with salad and the fresh things that belong there.
Blogging work and the Oskar series
This weekend was a reminder of how valuable both small and big moments can be. A birthday party or a balcony conversation in Gothenburg can bring just as much energy as a long trip. It’s the ordinary everyday memories that shape our lives.
Right now, I’m also working here on the blog, especially with the Oskar series, where I write about children, neurodivergence, and school life. This week we’ve been focusing on the post Motivating circumstances and invisible support. At the same time, I’m optimizing the blog to make it easier for both me and you as readers to find your way through all the posts.
A lot is happening – in everyday life and here on the blog.
Live today, right now. Yesterday is history, and tomorrow lies out there in the distance. Right now is what we can influence. – Carina Ikonen Nilsson
Reflection
This weekend reminded me that strength is often found in the simple things – in the laughter of a child’s party, in a chat on a balcony, in the ordinary meals we share. Life doesn’t have to be grand to be deeply meaningful.
Your Voice: Between the Lines
Between the lines, this post carries a sense of gratitude. To be present – in both small and big ways – is a gift I do not take for granted.
New glasses again. Hello and welcome to all of you who read my posts here on Malix.se. Today I’m sharing a post about something as ordinary as glasses. You might wonder: can you really write a whole post about glasses? Oh yes – at least I can.
Here I am again, sitting on the sofa. Yesterday was a slow day – no surprise, since we came home late after a magical evening with Thåström in Karlstad. The concert was larger than life, and the tiredness the day after almost felt like part of the memory. If you want to read more about that night, you’ll find it here: Thåström concert Karlstad – a magical night in the spirit of music.
Still, despite the tiredness, we managed to get a few things done. One of them was picking up my new glasses at Synsam. I have a subscription where I rent glasses for a monthly fee, and when my husband was there last time it suddenly became very favorable for me to add a fourth pair. Yesterday was the day I picked them up.
As happy as can be
I was really happy! The glasses feel light, sit perfectly, and they’re stylish too. While I tried them on, I joked with the assistant: “Now I have so many glasses I feel like Elton John.” She smiled and replied: “It’s wonderful to feel that way.” And yes, it really is. Even though I only have four pairs, it’s such a joy to be able to switch depending on mood and situation.
Synsam subscription – smart for me
Synsam has a concept I really like. You rent your glasses and can update them year after year. I pay monthly for one pair of sunglasses, one pair of regular glasses, and one pair of reading glasses – that’s the foundation. A few weeks ago, they had a special offer, and that’s when I decided to get a fourth pair.
An everyday moment from the sofa where my new glasses rest on the laptop, with the blog post open on the screen.
These new ones sit so comfortably that I barely notice I’m wearing them. And while it’s fun that they look good, the most important thing is of course how I see with them. The world is suddenly clearer – what used to be blurry is now sharp and full of detail. If you sign up for a Synsam subscription through my referral, you actually get two months for free. I get one month as a thank you, but you benefit even more. Worth knowing if you’re considering new glasses yourself.
The Oskar series – next chapter
Today I’ll continue working on the next post in my little Oskar series. Tomorrow I’ll publish part two, and there will also be a part three and four. This subject is close to my heart, so I want to take my time and include as much as possible in each post.
The text itself was written many years ago, but the thoughts are still alive and relevant. The series gives me a way to gather them once again. If you haven’t read the first part yet, you’ll find it here: The Oskar series – meeting children with neurodivergence in school.
Between the lines
What does this post say about me? Maybe that I like glasses and that I enjoy variation. Maybe also that I tend to write long posts, so long that I sometimes have to turn them into a series. But perhaps it also says something about care – I want you as a reader to actually have the energy to follow along.
Reflection
Sometimes it’s clarity that makes all the difference. The right glasses can change everything – suddenly details that were blurry come into focus. Life works the same way. When we pause and adjust our view, we can notice things we’d otherwise miss: small joys, a new tone in a conversation, or a feeling waiting to be seen.
What becomes clearer for you if you look with fresh eyes today?
Afterword
Thank you for joining me in today’s post, even though it was about something as ordinary as glasses. Everyday life often contains more than meets the eye.
“Yesterday has already settled into history, tomorrow is waiting further ahead. But right now – this is where life happens.” -Carina Ikonen Nilsson
Sometimes a motorhome weekend in Sweden begins long before the engine starts. That’s the case this time – with freshly washed curtains, a living room that suddenly feels more harmonious, and a weekend waiting to be filled with both stillness and small adventures.
Even though we haven’t left the driveway yet, the motorhome weekend in Sweden really began yesterday. Not with driving away, but with those small preparations that set the tone. I put a few things into the motorhome – nothing big, but still the bits that needed to be in place.
Then I decided to buy curtains. Fresh, new curtains. And not only that – I also decided to wash them before they had even been hung. My poor husband had to help, even though he was tired after work. But now they’re up in the living room, and the whole space feels different.
New curtains – hung straight from the washing machine. Damp curtains dry neatly and let in just the right amount of light.
Grandma’s table now stands neatly with a cloth in the same fabric. No piles, no sketchpads – just a bare, beautiful table. It’s a rare feeling, as that table is usually both a dumping ground and an art desk. But today I decided: if I want to draw, I’ll go down to the basement and bring up my art supplies. This way, we won’t have corners of the house turning into workspaces whenever the mood strikes.
Clean table before the motorhome weekendGrandma’s table – for once without piles or sketchpads. Ready for a weekend with more calm than clutter.This is how the table usually looks – full of everyday life and ongoing projects.
New Curtains, New Calm
We even got new curtains in the bedroom. Freshly washed and still damp when I hung them – my trick to avoid ironing. They dry straight and smooth in place, and the room suddenly feels both lighter and fresher.
However, this post isn’t really about curtains – it’s about the fact that we’re heading off today.
Back to Hanatorp
We simply couldn’t get enough of Hanatorp, so we’re taking another trip there. My husband’s brother is there, and they wanted to spend some time together. I don’t know what “cousin vitamin” has planned for the weekend, but if they’re there, they’ll definitely get a hello.
Since this is the last weekend before school starts, it feels extra special to get away. After this, it’ll just be Fridays or Saturdays, depending on how tired everyone is.
The Weekend Plan
This weekend, I intend to enjoy myself. Relax. Blog. And, of course, keep developing the Oskar Series. Perhaps I’ll add a few lines here and there, somewhere between my coffee cup and the evening sunset.
Where do you find your stillness? By the sea, at a campsite, on the sofa with a cup of tea – or perhaps when you give yourself permission to simply be? Share in the comments; I’d love to hear from you.
Reflection
It’s strange how small things can change the feeling of an entire home. A pair of new curtains, a clear table – and suddenly it feels like I’ve made more space, not just in the room but in my mind as well. This weekend, I want to take that feeling with me on the road. To let it remind me that sometimes it only takes small changes to set life in a new direction.
Between the Lines – My Voice
This isn’t really about curtains, Hanatorp, or even the motorhome. It’s about creating space for what matters. About choosing less clutter so I can enjoy the present more. And about giving myself time – both at home and while traveling – to simply breathe.
”Yesterday has already settled into history, tomorrow waits further ahead. But right now – this is where life happens.” – Carina Ikonen Nilsson
It starts quietly. Coffee, cat food, a thank-you to the universe. Then – as if an invisible signal goes off – the day explodes. Tasks tumble over each other, projects are started and grow, dinner burns, the laundry calls from the balcony, and the wardrobe gets a complete makeover without a single plan. One of those ADHD-in-everyday-life days, where stress and creative joy run side by side – ending with the feeling of having dared something new.
Yesterday was filled with both words and coffee. I published the first part of the Oskar Series – a text that had been waiting to meet you. The rest of the day went into small household chores, but in the back of my mind, Oskar and his world were always present.
En av mina egna blyertsteckningar – för mig symboliserar den hur ett barn kan dra sig undan när världen blir för mycket. I Oskar-serien vill jag visa att bakom varje tystnad finns en berättelse vi behöver lyssna på
One of my own pencil drawings – for me, it symbolizes how a child can withdraw when the world becomes too much. In the Oskar Series, I want to show that behind every silence there’s a story we need to listen to.
Morning Ritual and ADHD Energy
Here I am again. My coffee is still warm and the morning has just begun. My morning ritual: feed the little cat, make my coffee, and thank the universe for giving me one more day on this earth. Thankful for having what I need – and a little more.
Looking back, I feel grateful for the energy that filled me yesterday. That special energy that only comes sometimes. When ADHD kicks in. When your body tingles with “I’ll just fix this one thing” – and suddenly, you’re in the middle of something entirely different.
ADHD in Everyday Life – One of Many Piles that Grow
KonMari and an Unexpected Wardrobe Race
Socks shouldn’t scream from inside the drawer, the method says. They should be folded.
A few weeks ago, I started using the KonMari method for folding clothes. We use it in the motorhome, but now I’ve also done it in my own dresser. Yesterday, I decided to just fix a little in my husband’s sock drawer.
But before that, I had already washed bed linens and hung duvets and pillows out on the balcony. Somewhere in between, I got stuck making a TikTok video. It took time – my English is hopeless – but I did it. A little wrong, but that’s another story.
Back to the wardrobe. And suddenly “a little” had become “everything.” Work clothes, base layers, sweaters – all lying in piles on the floor. I scrubbed the drawers, added lavender sachets, folded clothes carefully. Folded, folded, and folded again until the wardrobe looked like a furnished room.
Burnt Butter and Too Many Things at Once
Then – the next impulse. Vacuum the beds. Flip the mattresses. Vacuum every corner. But then it hit me – dinner!
Butter in the frying pan, quickly fetch the laundry that had been dry for a long time. Back inside – and the butter wasn’t golden brown, it was black. Burnt. Smoky. Typical. New butter in the pan, onions in, potatoes and everything that was going to be our hash.
I started carrying in pillows from the balcony while frying eggs. That’s when Lillfia came and asked if she should help me carry in the bed linens. I said yes – feeling both grateful and warm in my heart.
From Dinner to Wrapping Presents
Beds done, food done – and just as I sat down, I heard my husband’s car in the driveway. After dinner, we talked about smelly shoes that needed to be thrown away.
We went into town, bought new ones, stopped at the pharmacy, and then at Dollarstore. There, I filled a whole bag with birthday presents for Emilia. It took two hours to wrap them all with paper and small ribbons. A little bag filled with presents I hope she’ll like.
Bravery in the Small Things
When the evening came, I realized I had actually dared. Not something big like jumping from a cliff, but making a TikTok video in English – despite the fear. That’s bravery to me.
Between the Lines – What Stayed with Me All Day
All day, I carried a thought: that we often miss what’s not being said. Sometimes it’s not the words that tell the most, but small signals – a glance, a shoulder relaxing, a small movement.
This applies to the children I write about in the Oskar Series, but also to us adults. Many of us carry invisible stories. Maybe that’s why I write – to remind myself (and maybe you) that we need to dare to see beyond the surface.
Reflection
Yesterday was a day of high pulse, many tracks, and a mix of chaos and joy. ADHD in everyday life can feel overwhelming, but it also holds a kind of magic – the ability to see the world in several directions at once. And maybe it’s there, in the unpredictable, that the most valuable moments hide.
The Oskar Series – Meeting Children with Neurodevelopmental Differences in School In the Oskar Series, you’ll step into school life through the eyes of a child with NDDs – autism and ADHD. These posts blend reflections, real-life examples and thoughts on how we can create schools where every child is allowed to thrive, rather than being forced into a mold.
Welcome to the Oskar Series. Here, you will meet Oskar – a boy whose everyday school life reveals both the strengths and the challenges that can come with neurodevelopmental differences such as autism and ADHD.
This series blends personal reflections, concrete examples, and thoughts on how we can create school environments where every child has the chance to thrive.
One of my own pencil drawings is included here. To me, it symbolizes how a child might sometimes withdraw when the world becomes too overwhelming. In the Oskar Series, I want to show that behind every silence, there is a story we need to hear – and take seriously.
En av mina egna blyertsteckningar – för mig symboliserar den hur ett barn kan dra sig undan när världen blir för mycket. I Oskar-serien vill jag visa att bakom varje tystnad finns en berättelse vi behöver lyssna på
Bring a warm cup of your favourite drink and keep me company over the next few days as I write about the topic of autism. Let’s move forward – with understanding, curiosity, and respect for all the children and young people who don’t quite fit into the mould that society so often tries to press them into. Their value and unique way of being don’t disappear because they don’t fit a ready-made form – in fact, that’s exactly where their strength lies.
Why the Oskar Series?
Children like Oskar often carry remarkable strengths – attention to detail, honesty, perseverance, deep special interests, and a unique ability to think outside the box. At the same time, there are also challenges, and it is important to understand them:
Sensory Sensitivity
Sounds, lights, smells, and touch can all become overwhelming. It can even come down to the difference between spaghetti and macaroni. You might not see that difference, but someone with autism knows exactly.
It can be about shape, texture, how it feels in the mouth, or even how it behaves when you chew.
Selective eating is also common and can vary, but it often means sticking to a small number of foods that feel safe and work from a sensory perspective. This isn’t about being picky – certain tastes, textures, or temperatures can actually feel unpleasant, sometimes even unbearable.
Social Interaction
It can be harder to interpret body language, small talk, and all those unwritten rules most people take for granted. For someone with autism, every situation is new. Yesterday is not the same as today – even if it might seem that way to you.
What worked yesterday might feel completely unfamiliar today, depending on how the day began, how much energy they have, and how many sensory impressions have already filled their mind.
Humor can also be a challenge. When a classmate makes a joke, the child with autism might not automatically laugh. Understanding jokes and irony is often something that needs to be learned – like a language within a language.
And when the child tells a funny story themselves, it might sometimes be borrowed from a comedian, where the audience laughed loudly. That’s how the child learned that here, at this pause, is when you’re “supposed” to laugh.
This isn’t about a lack of humor – it’s about the fact that humor, like body language and social codes, doesn’t always come naturally. It often needs to be built step by step, just like learning to read or ride a bike.
Need for Routines
Changes can create worry or stress. Routines act as small anchors of safety in everyday life, helping to bring order to a world that can otherwise feel unpredictable.
If you’ve said there are five math problems to solve before break, then it’s exactly five math problems – no more, no less. Once they’re done, it’s break time, full stop. The fact that there are still five minutes left in the lesson doesn’t matter. In the child’s mind, the rule is clear and doesn’t change.
Or take another example: if teeth are always brushed after breakfast, but today there’s no time for breakfast – then brushing teeth might feel completely wrong. In the child’s logic, the two actions belong together. No breakfast = no toothbrushing.
To others, this might seem unimportant, but for the child it’s a break in the order that provides safety. It’s not stubbornness for the sake of being stubborn – it’s a way of keeping the world understandable and manageable.
Varying Day-to-Day Energy
Energy levels can shift from day to day, and sometimes even from hour to hour. What drains that energy can be completely different – and I want to write this in big letters because it matters: DIFFERENT for everyone.
One thing that’s fairly common, though, is that children with autism may have difficulty sleeping. And perhaps that’s the only similarity in this section – because otherwise, everything is highly individual.
Energy can drain away like sand through an hourglass, sometimes after what you might think is just a small effort. It might be enough just to get up and get dressed – and then the energy is already gone.
For the child, it’s not just a matter of “getting going again.” It’s as if the battery is already drained and needs recharging, sometimes for a long time.
Misunderstandings
Adults can sometimes judge the child based on a “template” instead of meeting them for who they truly are.
By “template,” I mean the expectations and mental images we carry about how a child “should” function, develop, and react – based on our experiences with other children. That invisible frame we compare to, often without even realising it.
We humans gather experiences and use them to interpret the next situation. Sometimes this is helpful – but with children who have autism, it can be completely wrong. The template doesn’t take into account that every child is unique, with their own mix of strengths, challenges, interests, and needs.
I remember sitting in a school meeting once. The teacher said: “We’ve had many students with autism in this school who have done well. It’s just your child who…”
The sentence stopped there – but I heard the rest anyway. The words already spoken told the whole story.
That’s the template right there – looking at my child through the lens of other people’s achievements instead of asking: What does your child need to feel good and succeed here?
Differences from ADHD
Energy levels and the need for variation can look completely different, even though some challenges overlap.
A person with autism will often appreciate – and sometimes need – clear step-by-step instructions: 1, 2, 3 – and will follow them to the letter. This can be a strength, offering structure and a sense of safety.
A person with ADHD, on the other hand, might be satisfied with just hearing the summary or the “headline,” getting the idea of the task, and then rushing off to do it – often with more spontaneity, but also with a greater risk of missing details along the way.
We’ve seen this difference many times at home. In the past, when we bought furniture from IKEA, we’d simply unpack it and start assembling – going mostly by feel. Sometimes we’d have to start over.
Now we do it differently. We hand the instructions to our son. He genuinely loves them – not a single point is missed, not a single step skipped. It’s almost as if he and the manual speak the same language.
The same goes for my kitchen machines and anything else with a manual. When he reads and explains the instructions to me, I get it right straight away.
This difference isn’t about one way being better than the other – it’s about how the brain works differently. Someone who follows instructions carefully can deliver precision and accuracy. Someone who jumps straight in can bring creativity and quick problem-solving.
But it’s important to understand these differences in order to give the right support and set the right expectations.
Why the Oskar Series Exists
To show that we can meet children in ways other than trying to shape them so that they fit into a pre-made mould.
The Series in Order
Part 1: Autism – Understanding and Strengths
Part 2: Does Oskar Really Have to Learn to Tie His Shoes?
Part 3: Motivating Circumstances and Invisible Support
Between the Lines
This is more than the story of a child. It’s a mirror showing how we adults create environments where some children can thrive while others are forced to struggle to fit in.
The Oskar Series is a reminder that every time we choose to see the child in front of us – instead of our image of what a child “should” be – we open a door. Not just for them, but for ourselves.
Reflection
Every child carries something unique. As adults, we can choose to see it, understand it, and give it room to grow. But we must also resist the temptation to press it into a form where it risks withering.
Yesterday has settled into history, tomorrow waits further ahead. Right now – this is where life happens. – Carina Ikonen Nilsson
My name is Carina, and I have, for many years, had the privilege of getting to know children and young people who may not always have fitted into the moulds of school or society.
In my work – and in life – I have seen how important it is to listen, to understand, and sometimes just to sit beside them without trying to fix everything.
I write the Oskar Series to share what I have seen, felt, and learned. To remind us that behind every glance, every silence, and every outburst, there is a story. And because I believe that we all, if we dare to see, can be that safe point that makes a difference.
FAQ – English (Oskar Series Part 1)
What is the Oskar Series? The Oskar Series is a collection of stories and reflections about children with NDDs such as autism and ADHD. It highlights both strengths and challenges – and explores how we can create schools where every child can thrive.
What strengths do children with autism often have? Many children with autism show unique strengths such as attention to detail, honesty, perseverance, deep interests, and a way of thinking outside the box that often leads to creative solutions.
What challenges can children with autism face in school? They may struggle with sensory sensitivity (sounds, lights, food), social interaction, need for routines, varying daily energy levels, and misunderstandings from adults.
How is autism different from ADHD? Children with autism often prefer clear step-by-step instructions and follow them precisely. Children with ADHD, however, may jump into tasks more spontaneously but risk missing details. Both ways have strengths – but they require different kinds of support.
Why do you write about Oskar? To show that children should not be forced into a ready-made mold. By meeting each child as an individual, we can open doors to growth, confidence and belonging.
Support my writing: If you enjoy my work and would like to support what I do, you can contribute via PayPal here: Support via PayPa
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