self-compassion-arkiv

A quiet morning scene representing the reflection Who am I if I don’t write – when the body says no and the words fall silent.

Who am I if I don’t write?
This question followed me throughout yesterday – when my body said no and the words no longer carried their usual ease. In this post I explore what happens when writing falls silent, when SEO and technique take over, and how an ordinary, tired morning can open up a deeper understanding of myself. I also link to earlier posts like When the Body Reacts Before the Thought and When Feelings Get Stuck in the Body – because they belong to the same journey I’m on.

Read this in Swedish ->Vem är jag om jag inte skriver?

When the Body Says No

Yesterday morning I felt unwell. I had been freezing during the night and was still cold as I sat here writing the post that was supposed to go up. Afterward, a strange feeling came over me – as if something wasn’t quite right. It was like the words I had written were no longer mine, as if something inside me had grown tired. It became too much SEO and too little of myself, and that stirred a question I couldn’t shake off: who am I if I don’t write?

Who Am I If I Don’t Write – When the Words Fall Silent?

It’s really a question I don’t even want to ask, but that I feel I have to explore.
Because what do I do when I’m not writing?
Well – I clean, cook, take care of my family. I browse the internet, drink tea, withdraw into myself. But none of that is the whole of me. It’s not the part that is curious, eager to learn, fascinated by people and psychology – the part that can’t be touched but still steers so much. Exactly what I wrote about in The Body Remembers – Survival Strategies and Self-Healing.

A Slow Morning That Taught Me More Than I Expected

When the uneasiness washed over me yesterday, I chose something different.
A quiet morning.

I made the bed slowly, walked around in my robe, felt low. My morning swims had been skipped for several days, and today I chose not to push through either. The feverish feeling and the tiredness got to decide, and I listened.

After a while at the computer, I picked up my study book again, read a little and reflected. But when it was enough, I knew I needed air. I drove down into town, went to the pharmacy and bought the little things that help me feel better. Small things – but important ones. It felt like every small action carried me a little bit.

Small Steps Back to Myself

When the items were in the car, I walked to the hairdresser.
It wasn’t really planned – my steps just took me there.

I have long hair, always in a ponytail, heavy to wash and brush, and I don’t like when it falls into my face. But I’ve just endured it. Yesterday it was time for a change. I booked a time – and today I’m going.

I don’t know yet how short it will be. I’ll feel it when I sit there.
Maybe the change begins right here, in the small things.

When I came home, something felt different. Not like everything was fine, but like something had shifted. As if I had taken a small step toward myself. Small everyday actions became small reminders that I still exist even when the words go quiet.

Maybe the answer to the question “who am I if I don’t write?” isn’t a word at all – but this:
I am still me, even then.
I live in the in-between spaces too.
I am not only my texts.

And to understand all of this a bit better, I also read a section about recovery and rest on 1177.se (external link), just to remind myself that sometimes the body needs more time than the mind wants to admit.

Reflection

Looking back at yesterday, I see how easy it is to lose yourself in everything you think you have to do. SEO, meta, structure and tech are good tools – but they must not become my boundaries.

My body showed me that I needed to rest, slow down, and make space for myself.
I am not less Carina just because I write less on a given day.
I am still me, even in the quiet.

Between the Lines – My Voice

This isn’t really about a blog post or a bad day.
It’s about identity.

About how I sometimes forget that I am a human being first and a writer second.
I need my words – but I also need the silence.

I don’t exist in the boxes that are meant to turn green.
I exist in the feelings, in the steps toward the pharmacy, in the rest, in the decision to book a haircut.
That’s where my voice lives.

A Question for You Who Read

What happens to you when a part of you falls silent for a while – and how do you find your way back?

Kallbad som självläkning medan jag bloggar på två språk om trauma, mod och förändring.

Carina Ikonen Nilsson

Yesterday is already resting in history. Tomorrow will come when it does.
Right now is what matters.
This is where life happens.
— Carina Ikonen Nilsson

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When feelings get stuck in the body and create tension – the body speaking before the mind.

English Version – When Feelings Get Stuck in the Body

Av Carina Ikonen Nilsson

den 9 november 2025

i Personlig utveckling & tankar

When feelings get stuck in the body, they can create reactions long before the mind has time to understand what’s happening. In this post, I write about what happens when feelings stay in the body, why it happens, and how I try to understand those feelings instead of pushing them away.

Read this post in Swedish ->När känslor fastnar i kroppen – och hur jag lär mig lyssna

When the Body Remembers What the Mind Has Forgotten

When feelings get stuck in the body, I often react physically before I react mentally. A tightness in the chest, tense shoulders, or a sense of the breath stopping halfway. These are the bodily signals that tell me something old is waking up, not something that actually belongs to the moment I’m in.

As a child, I had feelings I didn’t have words for. The body took what I couldn’t express. It held together what no one else saw. So it’s not strange that these old reactions still show up—the body continues until I show that I am ready to take over.

When I pause and listen, I often realize the feeling does not belong to today. It’s an old reaction, an old memory the body shows me because I can handle it now. That’s when I can say:

“I hear you. This is old. You protected me then. I can take care of myself now.”

And that in itself is a part of the healing process.

Fight, Flight, or Staying With Myself – My Choice Today

Before, I mostly reacted through either flight or fight.
Flight could be the bed, music, silence, or shutting down my feelings.
Fight could be anger, irritation, or defensiveness.
Those were my ways of surviving.

Today I try something different:
I stay.

It doesn’t mean I always manage, but it means I try. When I stay with myself, I see that the feelings aren’t threats—they’re information. They show where it once hurt, and why today’s reaction becomes strong even when the situation is small.

I don’t need to perform, defend myself, or shrink.
I only need to ask:

“Does this reaction belong to today—or does it belong to history?”

When I do that, the drama falls away.
And I find my calm again.

Listening to the Body – Without Judgment

When feelings get stuck in the body, it’s easy to judge myself.
To think I should be over something.
But feelings don’t work that way.
The body reacts before logic does.

When my shoulders rise, my stomach tightens, and my breath gets stuck, I know an old feeling is active. I don’t try to push it away. I try to understand what it’s really saying:

Is it loneliness?
Smallness?
Sorrow?
Fear of not being enough?

The feeling needs time.
And words.
When I find the words, the feeling loses some of its intensity.

Sometimes I quietly say:

“I’m sorry you had to scream. I’m listening now.”

It calms me.
And it calms the body.

When Old Feelings Appear in Everyday Moments

The strongest reactions rarely come during big events.
They come when something small reminds the body of something old—a tone of voice, a look, a single word.

Then the body can say:

“You’re about to be exposed.”
“You’ll be small again.”

This is often about old shame and old stories from a time when I didn’t have words or safety.

It also shows up when I stand in my bigger self—when I’m grounded, honest, clear.
That’s often when someone else, who feels insecure, reacts.
Not to push me down, but because my steadiness touches something in them.

But today I know I shouldn’t shrink.
I shouldn’t go down to someone else’s level.
I shouldn’t abandon myself so someone else can feel bigger.

When I stay with myself, both I and the relationship become safer.

The Healing That Comes From Understanding Myself

When I understand why I react the way I do, I no longer need to fight myself.
I don’t need to hide, perform, or explain myself away.
Self-love becomes a natural consequence of understanding.

Then the questions become:

“What do I need right now?”
“Can this wait until I have grounded myself?”

Today, I choose the thoughts that give me calm instead of the automatic ones that pull me down.

They are small shifts.
But they make a big difference.

Small Steps – Big Changes

The real change happens in the small steps.
When I pause and ask:

“Do I need to continue like this?”
“Is there a better path?”

When I notice the small things that work—when I feel gratitude for waking up, writing, feeling—then something shifts in me.

And she is there too:
the little girl inside me who needed more than she received.

I cannot change her history.
But I can give her the care now.

It makes a difference.
For her.
And for me.

Between the Lines – My Voice

What I see between the lines is that everything I feel has a reason. It’s not strange, it’s old. And when I can see it for what it is, it becomes easier to meet myself with respect instead of demands. It makes me calmer, because then I know I don’t have to change everything at once—I only need to understand what is happening inside me.

Aha – My Insight

My aha here is that healing isn’t about removing feelings, but understanding them. When I understand why something feels big, the pressure in my body softens on its own. I don’t need to fight myself anymore. I need to listen, not perform.

Reflection – My Thought Today

My reflection is that I’m beginning to trust myself in a new way. It feels unfamiliar but right. At the same time, I know I will never be “finished.” No one is. Development has to stay alive. If I fall asleep in my own process, the old truths sneak back again. That’s why I keep writing and understanding—it keeps me awake in myself.

Quote

Yesterday has already settled into history. Tomorrow waits further ahead. But right now—this is where life happens.

Carina Ikonen Nilsson

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blog statistics malix.se reflected in a calm lake view on an autumn day in Dalsland, where words continue to wander

Talk Therapy in Sweden – When Darkness Comes with Its Light

Av Carina Ikonen Nilsson

den 26 oktober 2025

i Personlig utveckling & tankar, Reflektion & självläkning, Utbildning & samtalsterapi

In pace with the darkness settling over autumn

As the darkness settles over autumn, I find stillness in the soft mornings.
It is also now that I want to invite you to talk therapy in Sweden – an opportunity to meet yourself with warmth, respect, and presence.
In our conversations, you will have time to pause, feel, and let your words become a light in the dark.

Read this post in Swedish →Samtalsterapi i Sverige – när mörkret kommer med sitt ljus

When Darkness Comes with Its Light

Morning again. Wintertime is here, and we’ve returned to our ordinary rhythm.
It will be lighter in the mornings, but the afternoons will darken earlier.
Welcome, little winter, and your quiet season of darkness.

You are here again, surrounding us in your calm shadows – where we light candles, not to curse the dark, but to soften it.
Or do we?

I light candles because they make me feel softer.
Because the little girl inside me enjoys watching the flickering beams.
I don’t think I’ve ever cursed the dark; it’s nothing I can control – it simply is.
Every moment holds its own beauty, and even darkness carries rest, a pause from everything that dazzles.

Candlelight in the dark – a symbol of inner warmth, reflection, and talk therapy in Sweden.

A light in the dark. Sometimes, that’s all it takes to meet yourself – with stillness and warmth.

Soon, we’ll move closer to the light again.
In just a couple of months, I’ll be sowing my seeds and planning the greenhouse once more.
By then, we’ll have celebrated Lucia, birthdays, Christmas, and New Year’s.

No, I don’t curse the darkness. I live with it.
I feel how the moments grow softer, how the warmth of the house feels more tangible.
The contrasts to summer are simply that – contrasts – and they are meant to be lived.

The words wanted to go there, though it wasn’t what I planned to write about.
They just arrived, as they often do when the heart leads the way.

Talk Therapy in Sweden – Looking for Clients

In the middle of this dark and quiet time, I want to invite you to something that also has to do with light.
I am currently training to become a certified talk therapist and am now looking for practice clients.

Sessions are free of charge during my education period and are primarily held via Teams, but phone sessions are also possible.
This offer applies to those who live in Sweden or speak Swedish – so that we can truly understand one another.

This is an opportunity to speak, in peace and safety, about what matters to you – stress, relationships, grief, life choices, or simply a longing for change.

What I Offer in Talk Therapy in Sweden

Talk therapy in Sweden gives you the chance to see new perspectives and meet yourself more deeply.
I offer personally tailored sessions based on your life situation, your emotions, and what you wish to explore.
I listen without judgment and without ready-made solutions – but with presence, warmth, and respect.
Through our conversations, you can begin to understand yourself more clearly and find your own way forward.

Entering talk therapy can be a beautiful investment in yourself – an opportunity to meet yourself gently, at your own pace.
It gives you space to land, to grow, and to reconnect with your own center.

I work with several therapeutic approaches that I have used throughout my career and am now deepening through my education:
a client-centered approach built on respect, trust, and genuine listening, where every meeting takes its own shape.

Motivational Interviewing (MI) – strengthening your own motivation for change
Cognitive Behavioral-inspired methods (CBT) – understanding the links between thoughts, feelings, and behavior
Low-Affective Approach – creating calm and safety in communication
Mindfulness and Self-Compassion – finding peace in the moment and becoming a friend to yourself

Why Talk Therapy in Sweden with Me

I have spent many years working with people in difficult life situations and with young individuals who have struggled to find their way.
I know how important it is to be seen – not for what you do, but for who you are.

I don’t claim to always listen perfectly, but I always strive to listen deeply.
For me, it’s not about giving advice but about giving space.
It’s about daring to stay with what feels difficult without rushing toward a solution.
When I listen, I try to understand – not to respond, but so that you can truly be heard.

I believe in the power of conversation – that it can heal, change, and offer new hope.

Would You Like to Be My Practice Client?

You are warmly welcome to reach out via email: carina@malix.se
Sessions are scheduled individually and are held in confidence.

A Thought for Nature

When we grow on the inside, it can feel meaningful to let something grow outside too.
That’s why today I encourage you to support Vi Agroforestry (Vi-skogen) – an organization that plants trees and strengthens both the climate and people’s livelihoods.
Together, we can help create more greenery, oxygen, and hope for the future.

Learn more or donate here: https://viskogen.se

Misty morning by the lake with still water and distant trees – nature’s calm and reflection, connected to Vi Agroforestry and talk therapy in Sweden.

Nature reminds us of the connection between growth, stillness, and care. When we let something grow out there, something grows within us too.

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Between the Lines

In darkness, I often find the quiet, the raw, and the honest.
It’s there I realize how much light truly lives in the conversation, in the meeting, in the presence.
To face yourself isn’t always easy – but that’s where growth begins.

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Yesterday has already settled into history.
Tomorrow waits somewhere ahead.
But right now – this is where life happens.

vinterbad Ragnerudssjön — Carina Ikonen Nilsson

AHA – Between the Lines

As I write about darkness and light, I realize it’s the same as in talk therapy.
It’s about daring to stay with what is, without rushing toward something new.
That’s where the light truly lives – not beyond the dark, but within it.

Reflection

Just like in talk therapy in Sweden, understanding grows in the silence between words.
When someone truly listens, something within us begins to breathe more freely.
It’s in those moments that I’m reminded why I do what I do.

A Question for You

How do you meet yourself in the darker season – do you flee from it, or do you let it show you something new?

Frequently Asked Questions about Talk Therapy

What does it cost to be a practice client?
The sessions are completely free during my training period.

How are the sessions conducted?
Sessions within talk therapy in Sweden take place via Teams or by phone. You decide what you want to talk about, and the space is calm and safe.

How long does a session last?
Each session lasts about 50 minutes. Together, we plan how many sessions feel right for you.

Who can participate?
The offer is open to those who live in Sweden or speak Swedish – so that we can truly understand each other.

Do I need to have a specific problem to book?
No. Conversations can also be a way to get to know yourself, reflect on life, or discover new perspectives.