Circle Time and the Unwritten Rules – The Oskar Series Part 5

Introduction

Circle time and the unwritten rules can be a soft start to the day for many children. For Oskar, it becomes something completely different – a place full of hidden expectations, strong impressions, and anxiety about the unexpected. But it’s also here that adults can create safety, through clear preparation and small adjustments.

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Unwritten rules from the very start

In earlier parts of the series, we saw how Oskar finds safety in routines at home (Part 4), how small demands can become barriers (Part 2), and how his daily form determines his energy (Part 3). Circle time brings all of this together.

Everyone is expected to sit in a circle. No one should speak out of turn. Someone sings, others wait. It’s as if every child already received a manual – except Oskar.

For him, circle time becomes an obstacle course before the day has even begun. If he moves too much, asks out loud, or sighs, he quickly hears: “Sit still, Oskar” or “Wait for your turn.”

And sometimes it gets even harder. If another child accidentally brushes against him, Oskar experiences it as a hit. His body reacts immediately – sounds, singing, and movements around him amplify the chaos.

Safety in circle time and the unwritten rules

Small adjustments can change everything.

Assigned seat – When Oskar always knows where to sit in circle time, the cafeteria, or the auditorium, he doesn’t need to waste energy worrying.
Preparation in advance – Visiting a new place before it’s used gives him security. Seeing the room, the chair, and knowing “this is my spot” makes a difference.
Clock or turn-taking support – A simple clock can show: “When the hand points to five past, it’s your turn.”
A clear role – Sometimes it’s enough for Oskar to say “Good morning” or announce the day.
Picture schedules or checkpoints – As a younger child, he might need picture symbols. As he grows older, he can help decide the checkpoints together with adults.

Just as routines gave him safety at home (Part 4), these small solutions can make circle time a place where Oskar dares to participate.

The adults’ perspective

For some adults, Oskar seems like “the child who disturbs.” But those who pause see a child struggling with invisible rules and overwhelming impressions.

Sitting next to him, whispering quiet explanations, or giving him a prepared role doesn’t take long – but it can make all the difference.

More about adaptations can be found at Autism Sweden.

Questions for you as a reader

Have you seen children become anxious when rules aren’t clear?
How can you create safety in circle time – at school or at home?
Could pictures, checkpoints, or an assigned seat be the key for more children like Oskar?

Between the lines

This isn’t about forcing every child to sit the same way. It’s about giving each child a place where they can succeed.

Reflection

For Oskar, circle time can feel like an obstacle course. But with clarity, preparation, and small adjustments, it can become a bridge to belonging. When adults show the way, children can relax and grow.

Earlier parts of the series

FAQ – Circle time, pictures and clarity

What is a picture schedule?
A picture schedule is a row of images that shows the order of activities. It helps children prepare and feel safe.

Why do pictures work better than words for some children?
Pictures are concrete and remain even when words fade. For many children with NPF, pictures are therefore an easier support.

What are checkpoints in circle time?
Checkpoints are simple steps, for example: First we greet, then we choose a song, then we talk about the weekend.

Why is an assigned seat important?
When a child knows where to sit, their anxiety decreases. For Oskar, seeing the place in advance can be crucial.