Etikett: card games

Att vara mormor och farmor – mellan närhet och saknad, symboliserat av en brygga ut mot havet.

Being a grandma sometimes means balancing – standing on the pier, feeling the wind, and daring to hope for what can be built ahead…

Autumn is here to stay. When I wake up it’s dark, just like today at 5:20 in the morning. Yesterday was filled with both laughter and heavier feelings. Being a grandma means living right in the middle of it all – with pancakes, card games and hugs, but also with the longing for what is not possible.

Läs det här på Svenska ->Att vara mormor och farmor – kortspel, pannkakor och saknad

Card Games, Pancakes and a Grandma’s Grade

Yesterday afternoon Alfred was here again, and of course we played cards. That little man doesn’t like it at all when grandma wins. Yesterday he suddenly asked me what I used to work with.

I told him that right now I don’t have a job I need to travel to every day. “But before then, grandma, what did you do?” he asked. I explained that I worked with young people and children who couldn’t live with their parents. He thought it was sad for the children who couldn’t stay with their mom and dad.

I told him that yes, it can be sad, but they don’t have a choice. When they couldn’t live with their parents, they got to play cards with grandma and her colleagues. He thought it was a strange job. I tried to explain that there were many other things too – that it was a bit like life itself: you talk, eat meals together, and when someone is sad or angry you take care of it.

Then Alfred said it was good that I had worked with that kind of thing, because “there’s no one better at comforting than my grandma.”

I’d call that a top grade for a grandma. The fact that she also makes pancakes with ice cream – although you have to taste the soup she cooks on Thursdays – was also good. But, it would have been even better with only pancakes. The rule is: if it’s pancakes, you must taste the soup, but you don’t have to finish it.

And today Alfred finishes school very early, already at 11. I get to pick him up again – and we’ll share another afternoon together.

A Birthday Visit – Both Joy and Longing

Yesterday we went to drop off gifts for one of the grandchildren who had a birthday. The situation was a bit unusual, but when you turn a year older you should of course be celebrated – birthdays deserve presents.

There were many packages, mostly pens and crayons because she’s so good at drawing. Two little kittens ran around the house and brightened the moment. The visit was short, but both my husband and I got hugs. My daughter was there too and she also had gifts with her.

I wish our relationship could be more everyday – that I could take her out for coffee, help with homework or pick her up from school. Just as I can do with Alfred. But right now life doesn’t look like that. Still, it was wonderful to see her, even though it hurt when we drove home again.

My little princess of a grandchild – the moment was short, but the memory will last long. And there was also the quiet longing for the little chubby one, who wasn’t even home this time. He too is in my heart, just as much, even when we don’t see each other.

(Here you can read another post with the grandchildren: Little ones who, before leaving, missed Lvl²)

On Children, Care and the Strength to Comfort

When Alfred asked about my work, it reminded me why it’s so important that there are adults who step in when parents can’t. For children it’s often hard, but also necessary. Organizations like BRIS and Save the Children share more about children’s rights and support.

Between the Lines – My Voice

Between card games and pancakes, between hugs and distance, lies my story. What I’m really saying is: I love all my grandchildren, but the path to them looks different. With Alfred there’s everyday closeness. With the princess and the little chubby one, there’s longing and what I don’t get to share.

Reflection

Perhaps this is what life is – full of contrasts. One moment warmed by a boy’s words that I’m the best at comforting. The next, aching with the pain of not being able to share everyday life with the others.

Question for You

Have you ever stood in that feeling of both closeness and distance – of joy and longing at the same time?

Yesterday has already settled into history, tomorrow waits further ahead. But right now – this is where life happens.
– Carina Ikonen Nilsson

Frequently Asked Questions about Being a Grandma

What does it mean to be a grandma?
It often means being close to your grandchildren – sharing play, everyday moments, hugs, and conversations.

What is the best part of being a grandma?
The joy of the small things: playing cards, making pancakes, going for walks, or simply being present.

Can a grandma feel longing or absence?
Yes, sometimes grandchildren are not always nearby. That longing is part of the love – it shows how important the relationship really is.

Want to follow more of my writing? Subscribe here

Want to support my writing? Support me via PayPal

A Day in July – With Pancakes, Reflections and Summer Heat

Av Carina Ikonen Nilsson

den 19 juli 2025

i Recept & matglädje, Vardag & familjeliv

Morning before departure

Swedish Version

Today we’re heading out with our little LVL^2. There’s a pleasant feeling in my body – a sense of well-earned rest. Maybe it’s because the laundry baskets are empty. That doesn’t happen often. I don’t know how many loads I did yesterday, but it turned into a full laundry day. And still, we managed to fit in a swim.

Not the refreshing, cold dip I often long for. The lake at home was warm – almost body temperature. I didn’t even feel cold getting in. But the kids enjoyed it – and so did I. Even though I was in the water almost as long as they were, I still felt warm when I got out. But I also felt grateful. Swimming together is its own kind of quiet luxury. Though mostly, I just swam on my own.

Have you ever felt that?
When life is overflowing with things to do, but still feels strangely empty? Maybe those small moments – a swim, an empty laundry basket – are where life happens most clearly.

Thirty kilometers in blazing sun

Later in the morning, my brother and his daughter arrived. They had biked all the way from Uddevalla – 30 kilometers in blazing sunshine. The temperature reached 27–30 degrees. I’m impressed. Also, a little worried. I would’ve passed out halfway.

But my brother has always been determined. He once biked all the way to Gothenburg. I suppose it runs in the family – because when our grandfather was young, he and his brothers used to cycle from Gothenburg to Uddevalla every weekend. They worked until 1 PM on Saturdays, then hopped on their bikes to spend Sunday with their parents. Would anyone do that today? I doubt it. These days, people train for the sake of training – not to visit their parents.

Do you think we’ve become too comfortable?
Or are we just showing love in different ways today?

A pancake worth remembering

After the swim, I got the idea to make a gluten-free oven pancake. I’ve tried many times before – but it’s never really turned out right. That fluffy, firm texture has always been missing. But yesterday… it worked.

I found a recipe from Det glutenfria köket (The Gluten-Free Kitchen) and made a double batch. I left out the bacon since we were having it with ice cream. The pancake turned out exactly the way I hoped. We ate it with queen’s jam and vanilla ice cream. The kids devoured it like they’d never seen food before. And I… I just sat there, enjoying the fact that I pulled it off. It had that soft, fluffy texture – just like I remember from my mother’s kitchen.

Recipe – Gluten-Free Oven Pancake

You’ll need:
– 4 eggs
– 3 dl gluten-free flour mix (like Finax Red or Semper Mix)
– 4 dl milk
– 1 tsp psyllium husk
– 1 tsp baking powder
– A pinch of salt
– 1 pack of bacon or smoked ham (optional)

How to make it:

Preheat oven to 220°C (428°F).
Whisk a bit more than half of the milk together with flour mix, psyllium husk, baking powder, and salt.
Add eggs one at a time while whisking.
Pour in the rest of the milk. Let the batter sit for 10 minutes.
If using bacon – dice and pre-bake it in the baking dish for 10 minutes.
Pour the batter into the dish and bake for 30–40 minutes in the center of the oven.

Serve with jam and ice cream – and a cup of coffee if you like.

Evening with cheese, crackers, and card games

Later that evening, my daughter and her partner came by. She had called earlier and asked if we could have cheese and crackers. I said yes right away. There’s something about those kinds of evenings – simple, yet deeply meaningful. We sat out on the patio playing cards until the dark slowly settled in. I wasn’t exactly a champion at the games, but I did win with my laughter – and my “fult ord”.

(Now, I don’t actually say a lot of bad words. I say “fult ord” – which literally means “bad word.” The boys at work thought that was hilarious and joked that whenever I said it, they’d mentally insert an actual swear word. But after a few months, they all started saying “fult ord” too. It became our thing.)

Have you ever felt that someone is doing something just to ease your pain?
It’s beautiful – but also fragile. What happens when we realize we need to carry our own grief?

But in the middle of all that warmth and joy, a thought crept in. One I’ve been carrying for a while. I don’t want my daughter to come just because our son doesn’t. I don’t want her to feel like she needs to fill a void or be a comfort. That emptiness – that’s ours to deal with.

I’ve spoken to her about these thoughts. And I hope she comes to us because she truly wants to – not out of guilt or responsibility for something she can’t fix.

And yet… I’m so grateful that she does come. That we have these evenings. Together.

Thoughts on faith – and a question from my neighbor

Before I end, I want to share a short clip from my neighbor’s YouTube channel. She makes sweet little educational films for children – but sometimes, she speaks to us grown-ups too. Today she asks: Can we live without religion?

I don’t know. I think many people in Sweden live without God in the traditional sense. But I believe we all still believe – in something. Karma, nature, kindness, purpose. I believe goodness creates more goodness – that kind acts ripple out into the world.

Faith has always been part of humanity. People have always needed to believe in something bigger – a reason to keep going. Our ancestors had gods long before priests came. Vikings, cave dwellers, everyone had their form of belief.

As for me – I go to church once a year. On Christmas Eve. For the songs, for the peace. I wouldn’t call myself religious. But maybe I am, in my own way.

Watch the clip here
Take a moment. Reflect.

Do you need something bigger to believe in?
What holds your thoughts when the world feels too large – or too empty?

Reflection

This was a day full of sun, swimming, food, family and thoughts. A day where the heat pressed down, but my heart opened. A day that tasted like pancake, smelled of sun-warmed skin – and left something to quietly ponder.