A slightly different morning at home. Today, there will be no swim, because a parent-teacher meeting on Teams awaits. The missed swim instead gave way to a long, warm shower — not at all the same as walking down to the lake, but still lovely. Perhaps that’s what it’s all about — finding structure and balance in everyday life, even when the day doesn’t turn out as planned.
Morning Without the Lake – But Not Without Stillness
My coffee stands beside me as my thoughts wander between schoolwork and household tasks. Right now, a bit of anxiety lives in my body — piles of papers waiting to be read and reflected on. I know I need to find structure; however, I don’t want it to become like last time. Back then, I studied around the clock and felt anxious whenever I wasn’t studying.
This time, I want balance. I’ll ask AI to help me create a structure for my studies and everything else that needs doing. What did we actually do before AI? How did we manage to fit the puzzle pieces of life together?
Studies, Solitude and a New Kind of Companion in the Search for Structure and Balance in Everyday Life
After the meeting, I’ll return to my reading. The subject interests me, and when it does, words flow more easily. My ADHD helps here — when curiosity takes over, focus follows. But I miss classmates — someone to discuss and practice with. For now, AI has become my conversation partner. It works, but it’s not the same as having another person to share ideas with.
It’s quieter this way. Still, in the quiet, there’s also space to listen inward.
Yesterday, my little one wanted to rearrange his room. It happens fast when he does it — furniture moves, but not much else. When I rearrange, I want to clean behind, underneath, and around everything. The small clutter probably slept with him last night. He can sleep with anything — Lego pieces, chips, you name it. Everything except spiders and wasps.
It’s in those small moments that everyday life truly lives. That’s where warmth hides — right in the middle of all the stress.
Thoughts of Hugo and the Ache of Longing
Yesterday, I saw on Instagram that little Hugo, my grandson, was sick. It feels strange to only learn what happens in my grandchildren’s lives through social media. We live just a mile apart, yet contact travels through a screen. He’s grown so much now. I imagine his words are clear, that you can understand everything he says.
Those thoughts hurt, but I try to turn them around: it’s good that he gets to rest while he’s ill. My little one. I would have liked to bring ice cream and a comic — the kind of things you bring to someone who’s sick. But some wishes have to remain just that — wishes.
A New Day, a New Choice
Today is the first day of the rest of my life, and therefore a reminder that change starts now. A good day is something you create yourself, regardless of what happens. Because what truly matters is not what happens — but how we choose to respond to it.
AHA – Between the Lines of Structure and Balance in Everyday Life
Between the lines, this text is about daring to find balance when life tilts. It’s about living with ADHD and learning to manage what might otherwise take over. It’s also about longing — for closeness with my son and grandchildren, but also for the presence of a study partner to share ideas with. And about the ability to shift perspective, to find gratitude in the middle of absence. It’s a story of self-awareness, acceptance and small victories in everyday life.
Reflection – Finding Structure and Balance in Everyday Life
Maybe that’s how life teaches us: sometimes we have to give something up to rediscover ourselves. Today I choose to skip the swim but instead create stillness. It’s in those small choices — between the shower, the coffee, and the thoughts — that life truly happens.
What I’m Grateful for Today
This morning, I began by thanking life for letting me wake up to a new day, even without the swim. I’m grateful for the chance to breathe in this morning, for the warm water running from the tap, and for the joy of a long shower. Not everyone appreciates that simple pleasure — but I do. I’m also grateful that I dared to begin this education, even though it awakens both performance and anxiety. Even my anxiety gets a thank-you today — it reminds me that I’m human, alive, and still learning. And I’m grateful that Instagram exists — because without it, I wouldn’t even have seen a picture of little Hugo or known that he was sick. It hurts, but it also heals — because through the screen, I still get to see him, to know he’s there, in the middle of life.
Questions for You, Dear Reader
How do you find structure and balance in everyday life? When life feels heavy, what helps you return to calm? Can you relate to the wish to be enough — and the need to rest?
Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments. I read every one of them.
Support the Blog
If you enjoy my writing and want to support my work, you can do so via: PayPal.me
Live today. Dare to feel life, and let life teach you. Yesterday rests behind us, having taught us what it could. Tomorrow is not yet a memory, nor something we know. Right now — this is where we can live and breathe. – Carina Ikonen Nilsson
Morning dip and everyday joy became the start of my day. It began in the sofa with a post that disappeared, but instead of irritation I chose gratitude and lessons learned. The swim today filled me with energy, the thoughts of my grandchildren opened both sorrow and gratitude, and the bedroom now waits to be cleaned until it smells of soap. Yesterday was a day of household chores, pride, and pain – but also joy in the little things.
The morning began in the sofa, with coffee beside me and the computer on my lap. I wrote an entire post – hours passed – and then everything vanished. At first I wanted to curse, blame the computer, mutter a bad word. But instead I paused and told myself: “Now you need to be a responsible adult.”
That shifted my thoughts. I realized I hadn’t saved properly and that I need to be better at always checking before shutting down. And perhaps I need to accept that words often come when I bathe, not right when I wake up. A morning lesson in patience, simply put.
Today – Morning Dip and Everyday Joy
This morning I went for a dip. My bathing sisters swam, but I floated still, letting the water carry me. I watched the trees, the sky, and all the beauty right there in that moment.
The feeling was powerful. My soul filled with light, my body with energy. Gratitude settled in: “I give myself these mornings where I wake together with nature.”
Two squirrels chased each other in the trees – lively little reminders of everyday joy. Before the swim, I even managed to record a short video for TikTok. In that video, an important insight landed: A good day is one you create yourself. I am the scriptwriter of my life. My thoughts give birth to feelings, and those feelings create the day.
Today – Thoughts of My Grandchildren
After the swim came thoughts of my grandchildren, the ones I no longer get to meet. There lives sorrow, and it hurts. But I told myself I needed to change the tone of those thoughts.
Instead, I chose to feel gratitude for the time we actually had together. Me and my son. Me and my grandchildren. All those days that were ours before he chose to shut me out as both mother and grandmother.
I carry so many beautiful memories. Memories of caring for Hugo when he was sick, holding his little hand, sitting and reading with him. Memories of Emilia, my princess – always wise, always close, a wonderful friend in a small body. And my son – whom I am so proud of. His wisdom, his words, his thoughts, shared so generously through the years.
The time that is now I cannot change. It is what it is. But I have the memories. And they fill my heart with gratitude for the time that was. This is my work: to choose gratitude for what was, and let that gratitude fill my time now.
Today – the Bedroom Waiting for Soap and Order
After the swim and those thoughts, the desire for the next project grew. Today, our bedroom will be made fresh with the scent of soap. The walls will be wiped down, the paintings dusted both front and back, perfume bottles polished, flowers refreshed. Every detail tended to, until the room feels truly clean.
I can already sense it: the lightness in my body, the bubbling joy and the deep gratitude when everything is done. Walking into a room that smells of soap is like giving myself a new beginning.
Yesterday – Everyday and KonMari
Yesterday was different. The day filled with chores. I went down to the laundry room, folded clothes and ironed what needed it. With the KonMari method, every piece of clothing has its place. It’s almost silly how happy I feel opening a wardrobe and seeing that order.
Yesterday – Pride at the School Meeting
In the afternoon, it was time for my little boy’s school meeting. I told him: “This is probably the best meeting I have ever been to.”
He hasn’t even been in school for a full year, but he has already succeeded so well in all subjects. When he asked why, the answer was simple: “You, of course. You’re the one making this work.”
Yesterday – When the Body Said Stop
After the meeting, I stopped to shop, still happy from the day. But when I placed the milk into the basket – bang! My neck gave way. The pain returned, almost like the nerve pain I sometimes feel in my legs.
At home, I cooked: fish sticks, rice with curry and salt, and my cold sauce with yogurt, mayonnaise, pickled relish, and spices. My little boy ate with joy – that always warms my heart. Myself, I finally had to give in. The neck had the last word yesterday.
Reflection
Perhaps this is what life is – a mix of swimming in the lake, the scent of soap, the pride of a child, and the pain of a neck. Everything fits into a single day, and everything is allowed to be as it is.
AHA – Between the Lines
Between the lines, the choice becomes clear. I choose not to remain in irritation or sorrow, but to see lessons, everyday joy, and gratitude. It is in the small choices, in the moments, that life truly shifts.
Your Voice: Between the Lines
I am a person who carries both joy and pain. I care for my home, my family, and myself, even when my body says stop. It’s not only the cleaning or the swim that matter – it’s the feeling that I choose to live my life, every day, in my own way. That is healing, and there gratitude is born.
A Thought on Gratitude
I often sit and wonder what to cook today. And right there, my thoughts make a somersault – because in that question lives gratitude. I get to think about what to cook, not if I can cook anything at all. There are parents wondering whether they can even serve food today. I have the privilege of choosing. And there, gratitude lives in abundance.
Closing Words
Yesterday no longer exists except in memories, tomorrow is something we may experience, but right now – in this very moment – is the only place life can be lived. It is in the now that memories can be created. — Carina Ikonen Nilsson
The Coffee Machine That Gave Up – and the Coffee That Tasted Like Water. I’ve fallen ill – a very sore throat and fever. Even the Little Guy had it last week, and so now it was my turn. At the same time, my small battle with the coffee machine and morning coffee began: when the machine gave up, the first cup tasted mostly like water, but the aroma of coffee was still there and kept me going.
Morning Coffee That Tasted… Like Nothing (the search for creamy coffee)
Yesterday we had decided to sort out the basement, but before that – when only I was awake – I sat down with my coffee. The first cup didn’t taste much like coffee, I thought. When I looked into the cup, the milk foam was white, but it never turned brown when I tilted it.
I assumed the coffee flavor was gone because I was sick and drank what was in the cup anyway, but it was completely tasteless. When the cup was finished, I took that second cup I usually have. Suddenly, the coffee flavor appeared, and that’s when I realized my mistake – or the machine’s mistake.
The Coffee Machine That Gave Up – and the Road Back to Morning Coffee
The machine has been acting up for the past half year. Sometimes only water ends up in the cup, sometimes coffee. Those drainage trays inside the machine have constantly been full of water. I’ve had to empty them after just two or three cups. The coffee grounds in the container have been watery, not at all like before.
Clearing Out the Basement & Saying Goodbye to the Machine
Tidying up the basement meant removing everything we’d stored there. The Little Guy who moved last autumn had left some things, and as always, some junk remained. Over the year, we had also collected our own bits and pieces. The younger one has moved in, and his broken “might-be-useful” things were standing there too: a broken screen and more.
My old stereo – you know, those cassette decks – also lived down there. Two speakers and a couple of leveling blocks for the motorhome we hadn’t used in years were there too. There was even an old plastic Christmas tree with baubles and tinsel.
All of it went to the dump yesterday. Even my coffee machine, which had been giving me trouble. I thought: I have a percolator and a milk frother – I’ll make coffee the way everyone else does. The basement was cleared, and I was left without a coffee machine.
Should We Go to Town or Not?
My husband asked if we should go to town and buy one right away, but I explained my plan. Besides, I was too tired – exhausted from the basement clear-out and feverish. When you have a fever, you’re not exactly eager to go to town. At least I’m not.
The First Attempt With the Percolator (the aromas!)
I thought I’d brew some coffee in the percolator and went out to the motorhome to get the milk frother. I started grinding the beans and enjoyed the pleasant aroma filling the kitchen as they were ground. Coffee smells better than it tastes, I think – though I still love the taste.
I filled the percolator with water, added the freshly ground beans, put the lid on, and turned on the power. The light came on, and an even more wonderful coffee aroma spread through the kitchen. That smell I’m not spoiled with, because it disappears when you drink machine coffee. With a coffee machine, you don’t get that aromatic scent as the coffee brews.
In 15 Minutes: From Beans to Morning Coffee
The whole process took about 15 minutes – from grinding beans to having coffee in the cup. The aroma was heavenly when I poured it. The milk foam lay like a lid over the coffee, and I thought to myself: this is surely just as good as my machine coffee.
Freshly Brewed Coffee – Did It Deliver?
I took my cup of freshly brewed coffee and went to the living room sofa to enjoy and test if it really measured up, to feel what future mornings would taste like. I looked forward to that first sip. Lips to the cup, and the first taste of coffee touched my mouth.
The Missing Creaminess
The thought came instantly: so empty, so thin – this is not creamy coffee. I took another sip, but the creaminess was still missing. I kept working with my thoughts, telling myself: this is how coffee should taste, I’m just not used to it. I drank half the cup, encouraging myself all the way, then gave up.
I Poured It Out
I went out to the kitchen, poured out the rest, and told my husband: maybe in a few days I’ll get used to it. He hasn’t grown up enough to drink coffee, so he doesn’t really understand my two cups of morning coffee that are so important to me.
“Let’s Go” – The Decision About a New Machine
My new Siemens – after half a year of trouble, I finally got my creamy coffee back.
I lay down on the sofa to rest, working inside my head with the thought that morning coffee wouldn’t be the same joy anymore – apart from those aromatic scents I rediscovered with the percolator. I took two painkillers to bring down the fever. Then my husband said he had more errands in town than just buying my coffee machine. I told him: I can’t, you go yourself. Besides, it’s expensive to buy such a machine if it’s just going to break down like the last one.
My new Siemens coffee machine in the kitchen – back to creamy morning coffee.
15 Years of Coffee Machines
I’ve gone through two coffee machines before, over a 15-year period. The most recent one wasn’t that old. I’d already been a bit grumpy about it this past half year when it started acting up. Even grumpier because it had cost quite a lot and only lasted a few years. A Monday model, on and off.
I’ll Never Learn
I still tried to convince myself that I’d get used to it, and that I’d enjoy the aromas every morning. Half an hour passed, the painkillers kicked in, and I went out to the kitchen where my husband was cooking. I said: I’ll never learn to drink coffee without a machine. Let’s go. I had already googled and checked what the whole thing would cost, weighing pros and cons. 6,500 SEK – a price I didn’t like.
Siemens – Always Siemens
But I’m a bit of a nerd too. I’ve only ever tried Siemens coffee machines. I wouldn’t dream of testing another brand. Once we got there, we decided that my husband would drop me off at Elgiganten while he went to the optician. I’d do what I needed, and he’d do his errands.
Among All the Beautiful Machines
Inside, I walked around looking at all the beautiful coffee machines. I realized mine was one of the middle-class ones – not the cheapest but not the most expensive either. The one slightly better than the one I’d looked at was three thousand SEK more, still Siemens.
Joyful Feelings and a Box in My Arms
I hurried so my husband wouldn’t have to wait. After a moment of joyful feelings – which always comes when I walk among kitchen appliances – I grabbed the box with the machine I wanted, paid, and went out.
Enjoyed the Feeling
My husband wasn’t there yet, so I sat on a bench and enjoyed the feeling: a brand-new coffee machine, and the knowledge that the very next morning I’d be able to drink my creamy macchiato again.
A Stop at the Pharmacy (on the way to morning coffee)
We also stopped at the pharmacy – my blood pressure medicine had run out. Inside, I met a tired pharmacist who told me he was tired. It had been slow with customers, and life seemed mostly gloomy for this man. That’s not how you treat someone like me, who’s nervous about medication and wants to feel reassured that the staff are alert and know what they’re doing. In the car, I checked several times to make sure he had really given me the right medicine. He had.
Home With the New Coffee Machine
At home, I unpacked the machine and tried to learn the technique. Not easy – I realized it wouldn’t be simple even the next day. I probably need a course, but I’ll learn. I’ll ask my son to read the manual, then he can explain how to really do it.
For now, it was just about making coffee for the morning. But the machine has features: favorite programs and different cleaning settings. Those I’ll learn over time.
The Purpose of This Post?
What was the purpose of this post? I have no idea. But I can tell you that this morning’s coffee tasted wonderful. Today’s cup was even creamier, the foam softer, than any cup I’ve had before.
The cup that saves the morning – creamy, smooth, and exactly the way I want it.
PPU – Price Per Use
A creamy cup of morning coffee with smooth milk foam – exactly how I love it.
6,500 SEK is still expensive. But if I calculate PPA (price per use) and the machine lasts five years, two cups a day (sometimes more when we have guests), it comes to about 1.80 SEK per cup – lower when more cups are brewed. That’s something I’ll have to learn to live with. Yes, stingy as I am, I still have to accept that good taste comes with a price. Which means I’ll endure it.
Reflection
Two cups of coffee can become a whole story. Maybe it’s not just about the machine, the aroma, or the foam, but about the small things that make everyday life bearable when you don’t feel well. I realized coffee isn’t just a habit; it’s company. A way to hold on to something that’s mine, regardless of fever or a failing machine.
AHA – Between the Lines
Between the words about Siemens, the dump, and the pharmacy, there’s another layer. This isn’t just a story about coffee. It’s a reminder that I deserve to treat myself to what brings me joy – even if it costs a little more. The coffee machine became a symbol of taking care of myself, despite illness, despite fatigue. Choosing creamy morning coffee became the same as choosing me.
Closing Words
Oh my, this turned into a very long post about just two cups of morning coffee. I wish you a good day, and live by my motto:
Today, right now – yesterday is history, and tomorrow hasn’t come yet. It is here and now that I can enjoy my coffee, my creamy morning coffee. / Carina Ikonen Nilsson
Questions for You, the Reader
Has your coffee machine ever broken down? What did you do then?
Are you a percolator person or a coffee machine person – and why?
How important is milk foam/creaminess for your perfect cup?
Or do you simply drink plain black coffee?
Do you have any tips for getting more flavor at home?
FAQ – Coffee Machines, Brewing and Morning Coffee
1) Why does coffee sometimes taste “thin”? Often it’s the bean quality, grind size, or brewing temperature. Try finer grind, correct dose (about 6–7 g/100 ml), and fresh beans.
2) How do I get more “creaminess”? Three things matter: beans (darker or espresso roast), grind (slightly finer), and milk foam (around 60–65 °C, microfoam).
3) Coffee machine vs. percolator – what’s the difference in taste? A percolator circulates water and can give aroma but sometimes a thinner body. A fully automatic machine pushes water through compressed grounds – usually fuller.
4) How often should I clean the machine? Daily: rinse brewing unit & frother. Weekly: wash removable parts. Regularly: descale according to manual.
5) How long do opened beans stay fresh? Best flavor in the first 2–3 weeks. Store cool, dark, and airtight.
6) What’s a reasonable lifespan and “price per use”? Fully automatic: 4–7 years is common. 6,500 SEK / (5 years × 365 × 2 cups) ≈ 1.80 SEK per cup – drops when more cups are brewed.
An unusually ordinary morning. A husband who was awake before me. And a cat who’d been out all night – even though he’s not allowed to. In our home, the roles are clear: I’m the lunch lady and the cleaner, my husband is the cozy corner. But sometimes, routines shift, and then it becomes clear just how much space a little meow can take in our hearts.
An Awake Husband and That Darn Cat
I’ve been awake for a while now, but it was an unusual morning here at home. Not because the cat was lying on top of me to wake me up – he always does that, I’m the one who feeds him. Not even because he jumped up on my legs and patted me with his paw to remind me about breakfast. No, what was unusual was that my husband was already awake.
That happens rarely. Maybe three or four times in all our years together. But today was one of those days.
And I know why.
A Restless Night with the Cat
Findus – my husband’s little cat, his darling and best friend – had been outside all night. Something he absolutely isn’t allowed to do, according to my husband. The cat usually comes in by the evening, but last night he never showed up. And he already seemed a bit under the weather before he went out, which made my husband even more worried.
So there he sat, awake and anxious, with worried eyes and his heart in his throat. Waiting. Listening for every sound. I fell asleep long before he did, so I don’t know how long he lay there listening for the cat. That’s why he was up before me this morning.
Morning Routine with Cat – and Milk in the Coffee
When I woke up, the cat was lying on me as usual. I got up, pressed the button on the coffee machine, poured in milk – and the cat started pawing my legs. Breakfast time. I went to his “pantry,” an IKEA drawer, grabbed his food, and walked toward his bowl.
He attacked my hands as I lifted the bowl – as he always does – and then gobbled his food down. Afterwards, he clawed at the living room chair, meowed, and wanted to go out again. I opened the patio door. He stared at me. I closed the door. He stared at me again. I told him it was raining. Then he slowly approached, his tail waving gently. I opened the door again. This time, he went out.
A Love Story Between a Cat and a Man
The cat isn’t just a pet in this house. He’s my husband’s baby. Meow-meow. Prince Findus. Yes, he probably has ten nicknames.
If anyone ever hurt the cat – my husband would be there like a front-line soldier. He carries the cat inside, dries him off, takes care of him. Me? I’m just the sidekick. I clean, feed, scoop the litter boxes, and try to stop the cat from sneaking in with half-alive prey.
My husband gets the cuddles. The cat seeks him out, purrs in his lap. I just get the shadow of their bond. Jealous? Not of the cat – maybe a little of my husband, who escapes all the work but still gets all the love.
Oops – I guess this turned into a cat post! I was actually going to write about my neighbor.
Want to read the next part where I talk about my neighbor’s YouTube channel, AI as a coworker, and what I really meant to write about? Click here to read Part 2: A YouTube Channel, AI as a Colleague – and Newfound Knowledge
Thank you again for reading my blog. It means more than you know.
Carina Ikonen Nilsson
Reflection:
Sometimes it’s those little shifts in everyday life that speak the loudest. Like who wakes up first. Or who waits by the door. Love can look like a tail waving in the rain – or a glance between a man and a cat.
Carina Ikonen Nilsson ”Live today, right now – yesterday rests in history, and tomorrow waits in the distance. Right now is what matters.”
We use cookies to optimize our website and our service.
Functional
Alltid aktiv
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes.The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
