estrangement-arkiv

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Preface
This post is about the late summer slowly approaching, about motorhome life, and about carrying both joy and longing at the same time.
It’s about missing grandchildren, about living with distance in the family – and about love that remains even when paths separate.

When Summer Begins to Fade

Here I am again, in our motorhome. I write as I usually do, but the feeling is different now.
It’s no longer the sparkling energy of spring. Summer is beginning to retreat, even if I don’t want to admit it.
The truth is: we are closer to autumn than to the full bloom of summer.

Autumn can be beautiful in its own way, but I miss those warm evenings that invite quiet joy.
Still, summer is not over yet. There are days left to live, and I remind myself not to give up on them too soon.

An Unexpected Visit and a Quiet Thought

We will stay here at the campsite for another day.
Today I learned that my husband’s brother will visit – a little surprise. It will be nice to meet him.

Yet, other thoughts swirl quietly in the background.

On Instagram, I saw photos of my grandchildren, happy and full of life.
I smiled seeing them laugh, yet my heart felt a small ache.
These are the moments I long to share – but for now, I am a grandmother at a distance.

Sometimes it feels as if the world keeps moving without me.
Life doesn’t always turn out as we wish, but the longing is still there.
Hugo has grown taller, Emilia looks ready to conquer the world, and Alfred I sometimes get to hold close when life allows it.

What carries me is love – it remains, even when I must love from afar.

A Mother’s Love Never Ends

There is nothing I can do to change the situation right now.
All I can do is keep wishing them happiness.

My greatest hope is not for life to go back to the way it was, but for everyone to be well.
I hope my son has a life where he can breathe, laugh, and feel that he chose what was best for him and his children.

I am his mother, and I love him more than words can hold.
That love remains, no matter the distance.

Between the Lines – My Voice

Between the lines, I want to say this:

I am a mother and grandmother carrying both pain and love in the same breath.
I do not shy away from what hurts, but I do not write out of bitterness.
I write to understand, to remain standing, and to keep loving.

And perhaps I also write for you who recognize yourself in these words.
We are more than one carrying this quiet sorrow.
We carry it together – even if we carry it apart.

Reflection

Sometimes, life is about daring to stand in love, even when it is not returned.
I cannot control other people’s choices, but I can choose to keep loving my grandchildren – quietly, from the heart, at a distance.
And maybe, that is enough until the day our paths meet again.

Grief follows no rules. There is no manual for how to handle being cut off .
But it is possible to keep loving, even when the relationship is broken.
To stand in love, even when you get nothing in return.
It’s possible to love – even when love becomes a one-way street.

”Yesterday has already laid itself to rest in history. Tomorrow waits ahead. But right now – this is where life is happening.”
– Carina Ikonen Nilsson