Kay Pollak choose happiness – two words that have become important in my life. Here I share how his ideas on personal responsibility help me in everyday life: from messy breakfast mornings to the deeper pain of distance from my son and grandchildren. It’s a story about pausing, choosing your response, and creating your own joy.
At home we have paused our Storytel subscription for a while, which means I now listen to podcasts instead. Podcasts don’t paint long, poetic pictures like a book, but they give me something else – other people’s words and experiences. And sometimes that is exactly what I need.
Yesterday I chose my all-time favorite. I’ll write his name even though my husband might shake his head if he happened to read this: Kay Pollak. His voice has followed me for many years, and my husband has heard plenty of quotes from him.
Who Is Kay Pollak?
For those who don’t know: Kay Pollak is a Swedish author, lecturer and film director. He is known for his thoughts on self-leadership, joy and inner freedom, expressed in books like Att välja glädje (Choose Joy) and Att växa genom möten (To Grow Through Encounters). He also directed the internationally acclaimed film As It Is in Heaven.
In his talks and books, he returns again and again to the same core insight:
We cannot decide what happens to us – but we can choose how we react.
It sounds simple. But for me, it has been life-changing.
Kay Pollak Choose Happiness in Everyday Life
When I first started listening to Kay Pollak, I learned to pause in the moment.
Take a normal morning: I come home from work and find the kitchen counter full of crumbs, a butter pack left out. I used to get furious and take it personally – as if I were just the cleaning lady in my own home.
But when I let Kay Pollak’s words settle in, I could stop and think: They must have had a stressful morning. How wonderful that the kids still had time for breakfast. Maybe my husband was simply exhausted last night.
And you know what? It was so much easier to feel happy on the mornings when I thought kinder thoughts.
The same with my daughter on those days when she woke up in a storm and pressed every trigger I had. In the past I would react immediately. But when I saw the tiredness behind her frustration, I could choose another way to respond – exactly what she needed: a mother who looked beyond the behavior.
The Greatest Test – My Son and Grandchildren
This insight reaches far beyond morning routines. The distance from my adult son hurts. I miss my grandchildren. Sometimes part of me wants to put blame somewhere. But deep down I know I never want to give him guilt. I want to love him – and I do. I wish him every happiness, even if I’m not part of his children’s lives.
I cannot control his choices. I can only choose my own attitude. Choose to live. Choose to be happy – even with longing in my heart.
Happiness as an Active Choice
It may sound unusual, but I truly believe I can choose whether to be happy or unhappy. Happiness is not just a feeling that happens to us. It is a choice I make again and again, in big and small things.
I can fill my life with what gives meaning – writing, painting, morning swims, and the community of those who are here. That is my responsibility.
I cannot take responsibility for other people’s reactions, but I can take responsibility for how I relate to them.
Questions for You
How do you think about choosing happiness in your own life?
Have you experienced how a different response completely changed a tough situation?
Is there someone whose words have moved into your life the way Kay Pollak’s words have into mine?
Feel free to share in the comments – your words might spark new thoughts for someone else.
Between the Lines – My Voice
Behind these words lies a quiet gratitude. I see how my patterns have been shaped by both inheritance and choice – and how freedom can begin in a single thought. Taking responsibility for your own life is not about carrying everything alone, but about choosing how to meet what happens.
Reflection
In every choice of thought there is a small freedom. To pause, to breathe before the word or reaction comes, can change an entire day. This is not denying grief but carrying it with gentler hands. Kay Pollak’s words remind me that life can indeed feel lighter when I choose a softer response.
AHA – Between the Lines
Happiness is not something someone else can give. It is my own creation – in dishes left on the counter, in children who sometimes push away, in the deep longing for those I love. I can grieve and still choose joy. In that tension between pain and the will to live, freedom arises.
Yesterday has already laid itself to rest in history, and tomorrow waits somewhere ahead. But right now – this is where life happens. – Carina Ikonen Nilsson
What does Kay Pollak mean by “choose happiness”? He teaches that while we cannot control what happens, we can choose our response. By pausing and seeing situations differently, we can create more joy.
How have you applied his thoughts? By pausing in everyday moments – like facing a messy kitchen or a child’s bad morning mood – and choosing a calmer response that leads to peace instead of conflict.
Can you really choose happiness when life hurts? Yes. It doesn’t mean pain disappears. It means acknowledging grief without getting stuck. I carry the sorrow of distance from my son, but I choose to live and find joy.
Where can I learn more about Kay Pollak? Check out his books such as Choose Joy (Att välja glädje) and To Grow Through Encounters (Att växa genom möten), available in bookstores, audiobooks and podcasts. You can also visit Kay Pollak’s official website for more inspiration.
The morning is still dark as the smell of coffee fills the living room. At first, I felt the words had dried up, but as the candles flicker, thoughts begin to move again. In this post I share a quiet autumn morning, the final garden chores, and reflections on how feelings and thoughts sometimes play tricks on us.
It is still dark outside, the clock barely past dawn. Coffee steams in my cup while one lamp and two small candles light the room. I’ve been up for a while, but only now opened my laptop. It feels as if the words have run out, as if I am writing the last lines here for a while. Autumn has sighed its first breath, and I imagine its yellow leaves drifting even onto this blog.
But maybe that’s only a feeling. As if time has paused and the air itself stands still.
Thoughts Moving at a Slow Pace
The days go by. I do ordinary things. The ambitions I had before autumn quietly slid into a slower rhythm of not-doing. I feel stuck at home. Morning swims have paused, evening walks happen only on nights when I have the strength to join my husband – and not even every time. Perhaps illness is slowing me down, or maybe it’s simply time for rest.
The Greenhouse and the Garden’s Rest
Today promises sunshine, and I plan to tidy the greenhouse. I’ll pick the last ripe tomatoes, cut down the plants and spread the soil from the pots onto my garden beds as preparation for next year. Pots will be washed, the rain barrel emptied, and the greenhouse allowed to rest through winter.
young cucumbers sprouting in the greenhouse
I wonder if I am starting too soon. When do seasoned gardeners do this? Still, I want it done now, to avoid standing in January realizing something was left undone.
Tips: Autumn Tasks for Your Garden
As autumn settles in, a few small steps help your garden thrive next year:
Harvest the last crops – tomatoes, beans, apples, and root vegetables.
Cut back and clean – remove old plants and weeds so the soil can rest.
Cover with leaves or compost – to nourish and protect the soil.
Plant garlic and spring bulbs – garlic planted in September or October will reward you next summer.
Protect sensitive plants – cover roses, dahlias and others with leaves or spruce branches.
Empty rain barrels – so they don’t freeze and crack.
This summer brought the quiet joy of growing things. Tomatoes tasted of pure summer, cucumbers were a delight to pick, and lettuce grew in abundance – maybe too much. Next year I’ll plan better and start seedlings at the right time. Soon I’ll plant garlic and pre-sprout onions. Our potatoes weren’t many, but they were delicious.
We also planted two apple trees: Ingrid Marie for its wonderful flavor, and Astrakan, which carries memories from the film The Emigrants. I hope both trees survive the winter.
Thoughts and Feelings That Play Tricks
Quite a lot of words for someone who just felt empty of them. Maybe it was only one of those fleeting feelings that sneak in when darkness still rests outside the window. Thoughts can be tricky. They whisper that everything has stopped and that the air stands still. But it isn’t always true.
Often they are just shadows of worry or tiredness, echoes of a restless night. Sometimes they play pranks, mixing up a quiet pause with an ending. Perhaps the real strength lies in seeing that not every thought has to become a truth. In that space—where you breathe and let the thought pass—new words, new steps and new days can quietly begin.
Reflection
This morning reminds me that stillness is not an end. Even a slow start can hold seeds of something new. Maybe it is in the pause that the next chapter quietly forms.
Between the Lines – My Voice
Beneath the words lives a longing for balance. A rest that is not escape but preparation. A reminder that nature knows when it’s time to gather strength.
AHA – Between the Lines
Perhaps this is really a story about more than greenhouses and autumn. When I thought my words had gone silent, they were still breathing inside me like a quiet rhythm. It’s as if nature and writing remind me that everything can move at its own pace. Pauses are not endings; they too are part of creation.
A rainy autumn day with oven-baked salmon and hollandaise sauce turned into a story of morning writing peace, candle shopping, and a long walk that brought both strength and inspiration. Here is the whole day in words – and the recipe that adds flavor to the evening.
Rainy autumn day with oven-baked salmon and hollandaise sauce – from morning calm to evening meal
Saturday morning. The aroma of coffee met the quiet while my keyboard clicked away. My morning writing time is sacred – a private bubble before the house wakes.
My husband appeared, camera ready. He wanted to head out right away, but I was deep in my words. He went alone. Ten minutes later the sky broke open. Rain poured down. I listened to the drumming on the window and smiled – sometimes the sofa wins. He returned soaked, laughing, with no pictures in the camera.
Flavors that prepare a rainy autumn day with oven-baked salmon and hollandaise sauce
After a shower I set the table with crayfish and shrimp – Friday’s untouched plan turned into Saturday luxury. The cat stayed outside, so we ate in peace.
I saved the shells. They sizzled in a pot with onion, garlic and carrot until the kitchen filled with the scent of sea and spice. Water went in, then a slow simmer – creating a deep, rich stock. Not everyone loves the smell, but the taste is worth keeping.
How I make the seafood stock
Sauté the shrimp and crayfish shells with coarsely chopped onion, carrots and garlic until lightly browned.
Add enough water to cover.
Simmer for at least 30 minutes, skimming off any foam.
Strain and use the stock right away – or freeze for soups and sauces.
Searching for a bike – and candles for the dark season
With the stock on low heat we headed to town. Lillkillen and my niece joined us. The goal was a bike at Biltema, but no luck – they had stopped selling bikes.
A rainy autumn day
We continued to Ikea, where we happily stocked up on candles. After spending about five hundred kronor, the car smelled of vanilla and cinnamon – autumn evenings secured. At Citygross I thought of a pizza party, but my niece declined and didn’t want anything else. She probably ate well when she got home, because she didn’t eat a thing here. My brother picked her up later.
A little tech help and local news
Before they left, my younger brother and I chatted about life. He helped adjust the TV so I can now watch Västnytt, the regional news, instead of Stockholm news. For half a year I hadn’t realized that was possible, so I kept watching the wrong region and feeling slightly annoyed. He also set up several movies on Netflix for cozy autumn evenings.
Long walk with cows as our audience
When the house grew quiet, my husband and I put on our shoes again. Only a few drops of rain fell as we walked. The paths here are like a map of possibilities: a village turning into open fields, cows chewing thoughtfully, small streams glittering. Woodpeckers and buzzards sailed above us, but none landed in my husband’s camera lens.
An hour later my hip began to protest, warning me that tonight and tomorrow I might feel it more than I’d like. Sometimes the body reminds me to listen.
Tips for perfect oven-baked salmon with a kick – rainy autumn day with hollandaise sauce
Toward evening I sank into the sofa again. I watched a film with just enough suspense to keep me hooked, even if it was a little more thrilling than I usually prefer.
And tonight, as Sunday settles like a soft blanket over the house, I’ll cook oven-baked salmon with hollandaise sauce. Just the thought makes me hungry.
Oven-baked salmon with a little heat
Place a whole salmon fillet in an ovenproof dish. Season with salt, pepper, fresh dill and a pinch of chili.
Bake at 175 °C (about 350 °F) for around 20 minutes, until the fish is just done and still juicy.
Temperature tip: Use a thermometer for perfect results. The ideal core temperature for oven-baked salmon is 52–56 °C (125–133 °F):
52 °C – slightly rosy and very juicy.
54–56 °C – fully cooked but still moist. Remove the fish at about 52 °C; the temperature will rise a few degrees as it rests.
Quick hollandaise sauce for a rainy autumn day
Slowly melt 150 g (about 5 oz) butter.
Whisk together 3 egg yolks, 2 tbsp water, 1 tbsp lemon juice and 1 tsp white wine vinegar over a hot water bath until thick.
Add the butter in a thin stream while whisking. Taste with salt and more lemon if desired.
Shortcut: If you’re worried the sauce might split, put the egg yolks and seasoning in a food processor and let the melted butter drizzle in. Almost as luxurious, with less risk.
Questions for you, dear reader
What does your perfect rainy autumn day look like?
Do you have a favorite recipe for a cozy Sunday meal?
What motivates you to head out for a long walk, even when the rain is near?
Reflection
The rain offered calm, while the day filled with movement – in words, in steps, and in the scents of the kitchen. I see how these small moments carry an entire weekend and give it light.
Between the lines – my voice
I’m drawn to what truly nourishes me: writing, slow cooking, walking where nature opens wide. In these simple actions I find the real rhythm of my life.
AHA – between the lines
Simplicity is enough. A rainy autumn day can hold as much meaning as a long journey in our motorhome, if I only dare to stay inside it. In that quiet wisdom I feel fully alive.
Small steps that make a difference. A smile from a neighbor, Ocean laundry detergent in everyday life, or a solid shampoo bar instead of plastic bottles. Here I share how small choices in everyday life can matter – for the environment and for ourselves.
Hello and welcome! How lovely that you’ve found your way to my blog today. I want to share a quiet morning, a flower that lit up my day, and my small steps toward a more sustainable lifestyle.
A Quiet Morning
It’s just after five. The cat has been let out, my coffee is beside me, and the only light in the room comes from the computer screen. I love this early morning moment when everyone else is still asleep. It gives me the chance to enjoy the silence, to be here on the blog, and to rest in my own thoughts.
Today I only have one planned meeting on the schedule. The rest of the day is open – and that feels good.
My cat, always the first one out at dawn, starting the day with me.
A Flower That Lit Up the Day
Yesterday I went to the flower shop. My neighbor across the street had a birthday, and I wanted to surprise her with a small flower. When I knocked on her door and handed it over, her smile changed everything about my day.
It’s strange how small gestures can create big ripples. A flower, a smile – and suddenly the day feels brighter. We should all do more of those little things for each other. They give as much to the giver as to the receiver.
Nature around us always brings surprises – sometimes all it takes is to look up. Photo by my husband Tommy Nilsson.
Memories from the Swedish Fair
On the same trip, I stopped by our small local pet and nature shop in the village. They sell the laundry detergent my sister and I once discovered at the Swedish Household Fair many years ago.
Back then it was new – environmentally friendly from the start and especially good for people with allergies. As far as I know, the company is still based in Kungsbacka, and their products remain sustainable and safe. Perhaps a little more expensive, but so worth it.
Ocean Products – Eco-Friendly Laundry Detergent from Sweden
Ocean is a Swedish brand producing environmentally friendly products for laundry, cleaning, and hygiene. They are biodegradable, made in Sweden, and free from phosphates, zeolites, and animal testing. Many of their products are labeled Bra Miljöval (Good Environmental Choice) and Svanen (the Nordic Swan), and recommended by the Asthma and Allergy Association.
One example is Ocean Dubbeldryg, one of the most concentrated detergents in the world. It lasts for over 600 washes and reduces climate impact by up to 80% compared to regular detergents. For me, it feels good to know that something as ordinary as laundry can also be an active environmental choice.
Small Steps That Make a Difference
Those of you who have followed me for a while know that I often carry an environmental mindset with me. I may not contribute much in the bigger picture, but I do what I can.
A long time ago, I stopped buying disposable napkins and sewed our own cloth napkins to use at home. We walk – we don’t drive – regularly down to the recycling station in our village to drop off our waste. And this summer, we collected rainwater in barrels and buckets to water the greenhouse through a solar-powered drip system.
Ocean laundry detergent is part of that. It gives me a smile – not only because it’s good for the environment, but also because it reminds me of that day with my sister at the fair, when we tasted samples, discovered new products, and enjoyed ourselves.
Even what looks wild and simple has its place in nature’s balance. Photo by Tommy Nilsson.
Solid Shampoo Bars Instead of Plastic Bottles
Another small step I’ve taken is using solid shampoo bars. At first, I bought them simply to avoid all the plastic bottles. But I’ve discovered that my hair actually feels cleaner when I wash it with these bars.
And I can promise you – there are truly fewer plastic bottles when you stop buying liquid shampoo. A shampoo bar lasts for several months, around 90 washes. My hair also stays clean longer, so I only wash it twice a week.
It’s not a huge thing, but it’s something. And it’s exactly in these small steps that I find a way to contribute – right here at home.
Reflection
It’s easy to underestimate small steps. But perhaps that’s exactly where we can begin – with a smile, a cloth napkin, or an eco-friendly laundry detergent. When we see the value in the small, we also feel part of something bigger.
Between the Lines – My Voice
Between the lines is my longing for simplicity. I want to live close to what feels genuine – nature, care, and the stillness of early mornings. For me, these small choices are a way to create meaning in daily life, both for myself and for the people around me.
AHA – Between the Lines
AHA! What seems small – a flower, an eco-friendly choice – can actually be big steps. Not only for the environment, but also for your own inner well-being.
Yesterday has already settled into history, tomorrow is waiting ahead. But right now – in my small choices for the environment and everyday life – this is where life happens. – Carina Ikonen Nilsson
Early this morning, the cat woke me up. The fever still lingered, but my thoughts drifted to the Moon and the Eclipse 2025, which yesterday cast its shadow across the sky. The cat reminded me of both his presence and his hunger. When I gave him food, he wrinkled his nose and made it clear he could find something better outside. I stayed inside, sipping my coffee slowly.
The cat knew exactly what he wanted. He got food, but it didn’t please him. He chose freedom instead, while I stayed behind with my coffee. In that moment, I thought about how life often works this way – we face everyday moments in our own way, but the universe keeps moving out there, entirely beyond our control.
Fever and Dreams
I am still sick. Yesterday I spent most of the day on the couch, watching movies and only getting up for food. The fever haunted the night with strange dreams. It felt like my body was burning while my mind struggled to understand.
Maybe it wasn’t just the fever. Perhaps it was also the moon, which was partially hidden in the eclipse. The Moon and the Eclipse 2025 brought with it both unease and something new.
Chasing the Moon and the Eclipse 2025
My husband, who loves photography, had waited all evening for the moon. When he realized it would soon be lost to the shadows, we decided to go out. At first, we saw nothing. The sky was quiet and dark. But just as we were almost home again, there it appeared – pale yet clear. We turned around so he could capture it properly.
The Moon and the Eclipse 2025 – When the Moon Became Magic
When I saw the Moon and the Eclipse 2025 last night, I felt something greater. I sat in the car and watched the moon change from minute to minute. The light became a thin line, like a glowing tube across the sky. My husband photographed it, but for me, it was the moment itself that mattered.
It was more than a moon in shadow. Something happened inside me, a sense that the moment carried importance. I cannot explain it, only say that it stayed with me. They say that the Moon and the Eclipse 2025 can symbolize endings and transformation. Even today, sitting here with my coffee, the feeling remains – as if the moon left its mark on me.
Here is one of my husband’s photos from that night:
Partial lunar eclipse 2025 – the moon glowing red in the night sky
Facts and Magic Around the Moon and the Eclipse 2025
A lunar eclipse happens when Earth passes between the sun and the moon, and Earth’s shadow moves across the moon’s surface. Sometimes the moon turns blood red, sometimes it is only partly hidden. Yesterday’s event was a partial eclipse, where the light was only partly dimmed.
But for people in the past, it was more than astronomy. It was magic.
In some cultures, people banged pots and pans to scare away demons believed to be “eating” the moon.
In Norse mythology, the wolves Skoll and Hati chased the sun and the moon. When they caught them, an eclipse occurred.
In many traditions, an eclipse marked a time of ritual, closure, and new beginnings.
Perhaps that is why I felt what I felt. The moon still carries something larger, something that touches us deeply.
Sometimes things happen that cannot be explained. A cat waking me. A fever that dreams on through the night. A moon covered in shadow but still glowing with light. For me, the Moon and the Eclipse 2025 became a moment that left its trace.
Maybe this is how life speaks to us – through the everyday and the cosmic, woven together.
Between the Lines – My Voice
This is not just a story about a cat, fever, and the moon. It is about my ability to still be moved. Despite illness, despite worry, something greater reached me. I want to carry that feeling with me – as a reminder that I am still open to magic.
AHA – Between the Lines
The moon last night showed me that light always exists, even when it almost disappears. Fever will fade, worry will pass. What remains is the ability to be touched, to let something greater than ourselves speak to the heart.
Questions for You
Do you remember the last time the moon truly moved you? Have you ever seen an eclipse and felt that it affected you in a special way? Do you believe we still carry traces of the old rituals and beliefs about the moon?
KonMari in everyday life can change more than expected. Sick days turned into tidier closets, my son’s humor brought Volbeat on vinyl, and the Oskar series moves forward with a story about school recess and the dream of a better school.
The little one has been sick for a few days, so we’ve mostly stayed indoors. Still, the days tend to blur together when you’re just hanging around. Every morning I write down my goals – a to-do list for the day – but often they remain untouched.
Eventually, though, something happens. Suddenly I had energy, and this time it went straight into the closet.
KonMari in Everyday Life and the Feeling of Order
That messy closet has been staring at me for ages. With the KonMari method in mind, I started folding, sorting, and creating some breathing space. Maybe not much ended up in the donation pile, but still, it felt different: airy, lighter, more structured.
Not finished yet, but tank tops, t-shirts, and sweaters are folded with KonMari in everyday life. Next step: shirts ironed, folded, and more shelves for dresses to hang beside.
Therefore, even doing the laundry down in the basement feels better now. And there in the basement stands my old stereo system, collecting dust. Even though it has been unused for years, I’ve held on to it. Maybe it’s finally time to let it go? After all, we have the new record player in the living room – simple, wireless through Bluetooth, and so much easier than all those cables.
My Son’s Humor and the Gentleman in the Sofa
A few days ago, my son came home with a vinyl. A double LP by Volbeat. He had a grin on his face and pretended nothing was going on. I was in the kitchen stirring pots when he suddenly called out: – Carina, you’ve got a gentleman visitor on the sofa.
I looked confused. “No, I don’t,” I replied. But he insisted. When I walked into the living room, there they were: two records, neatly placed in my spot on the sofa. A rather quiet company – but then, once we put one of them on, the room filled with life, energy, and a wonderful noise.
My son’s gift – Volbeat on vinyl, humorously introduced as “gentleman visitors” in the sofa.
I must admit, Volbeat hadn’t been something I listened to actively before. At least not until now. But since these records moved in, they’ve spun many times. My son’s humor in how he presented them made it even more fun. To receive “gentleman visitors” in the form of vinyls – that’s top-notch humor in my book.
Our music wall at home – Volbeat on the turntable and other vinyl favorites in the room.
Oskar Series and Next Week’s Post
Today, I don’t have many big plans except to keep working on the next part of the Oskar series. This time it’s about school recess – those moments that should have been free and fun, but instead often became a struggle.
One of my own pencil drawings – for me it symbolizes how a child may withdraw when the world becomes too much. In the Oskar series, I want to show that behind every silence there is a story we need to listen to.
When I read through what I had written, tears came to my eyes. Maybe it says more about me than the text itself, but still, I believe it will touch hearts. I want to show both the difficulties and a kind of utopia: imagine if recess could become a place where adults joined in, where play was something everyone was invited into, and where children could feel seen and safe.
That’s why I feel this next post is one of the most important I’ve written in the series so far.
Do you usually make lists for your days? Do you stick to them – or do they end up like mine, lying around?
What do you fill your days with when you’re not working? Here, I fill mine with blogging, supporting young people, keeping the home in order, and cooking. And sometimes, I even find space to enjoy life, take care of myself, and feel good.
Reflection
The strange thing is how sick days can turn into days of change. Sometimes all it takes is a folded shirt, a tidied drawer, or a vinyl that surprises you – and suddenly, life feels lighter to live.
AHA – Between the Lines
Creating order in the closet is not just practical. It also becomes a symbol of making space in life – for new records, new laughter, and new stories.
ADHD in everyday life is not just a diagnosis – it is a lived experience. It holds strengths, chaos, emotions and intuition, all at once. Here I share my own experiences of living in the in-between – where it sometimes hurts, but where joy and presence also grow.
ADHD in everyday life can sometimes feel like a rollercoaster. One day there is endless energy and ideas flow freely, while the next day it feels heavy to even get started. That is why even the simplest everyday tasks can feel overwhelming.
I have learned that both sides are part of me. On the one hand there is strength in creative thinking and the ability to find new paths. On the other hand it also means struggles with structure and the feeling of not always being enough.
Feeling All the Feelings – All at Once
Feeling emotions all at once is a big part of my life. Emotions live in my body constantly, for better or worse. Sometimes they hurt deeply, while at other times they are wonderfully bright, when joy sparks from the smallest things.
When emotions take space, they often find a way out through creativity.
Sadness can be painful, but when the crying is over, my tears are truly dry. Anxiety, chaos, grief and insecurity mix with intuition – the ability to sense when someone is not telling the truth or means something completely different than they say. All of that lives in my ADHD – both the good and the hard.
Sometimes I curse it, but at the same time I am often grateful. Because when my emotions tell me something, they are usually true. My intuition lives in the moment, and therefore it often turns out to be right. There is something in the air – and I can feel it, long before it is visible.
When Things Don’t Go as Planned
What really throws me off is when things don’t go the way I had imagined. For example, if I go to the accountant I have had for many years and suddenly meet someone else, it can cause real chaos. That is exactly what happened this spring.
The Accountant Who Was Replaced
I had an appointment and sat calmly waiting for him to call my name. But when the time came, a woman came out instead and said my name. In that moment I was thrown back several years. It has taken me a very long time to let go of the anxiety around those visits. Through many years, and with the help of a very good accountant who understood both me and my anxiety, I had learned not to panic.
But this time, when it wasn’t him but his daughter, the anxiety came rushing back in full force – just like before. I cried out loud: “No, what is this, I usually have Christer!” My accountant quickly came out and calmed me down. He explained that he had already told his daughter how my visits usually go and that I find them difficult. She was well prepared – but for me, it didn’t matter. In that moment I was entirely in my ADHD – time and space disappeared, and the reaction came before I could even think.
When Work Changes the Plan
The same thing happened at work. If I had thought that I would be in the unit and the manager suddenly said: “No, you have to be in the meeting,” it hurt in my whole body. Change became so much harder than it might have looked from the outside. All the emotions were triggered and drained so much energy.
(Today I no longer work there, but when I did, this was a big part of my everyday life.)
Small Tools That Make a Difference
Over the years I have found small tricks that actually help. First of all, I make lists – but they are always short and simple. Secondly, I stick to routines, because the same morning ritual every day reduces stress. In addition, I try to create pauses, small gaps between activities. Finally, I use reminders on my phone, instead of carrying everything in my head.
Google Calendar and a cup of coffee – small tools that bring structure to everyday life.
In the past I wrote lists of everything, down to the smallest detail. But I have grown older and learned that I can manage quite well with simpler supports. Today I know that the important tasks must be done first – even if they feel like the most boring in the world. The fun things can wait until afterwards. Except… I’m not really telling the truth here. Blogging always comes first.
Because here on the blog everything is fun – even if SEO, keywords and optimization sometimes feel complicated. But that’s when I have my SEO-expert, the AI, with me. He (or maybe she, or just a machine?) helps me along the way. And even if I have to steer and correct now and then, it is still a great help with those things – for me they are just “back cover text.” The AI has read the book and the back cover, and that is where it comes in handy.
FAQ – Common Questions About ADHD in Everyday Life
What does ADHD in everyday life feel like? For me it is a mix of creativity, impulsivity, joy and frustration. One moment full speed, the next a sudden stop.
What are the strengths of ADHD? Creative thinking, spontaneity, persistence in what truly engages, and a strong emotional presence.
How can you create balance? Small routines, structure and understanding from others make a big difference. Accepting both the strengths and the struggles is essential.
Closing Words
ADHD in everyday life is not something I want to get rid of. It is part of me – both the wild and the still, the strong and the vulnerable. By accepting the whole spectrum I can also find ways to balance it.
Strength in Meeting Young People
It has also given me many advantages in my professional role. When I met young people with similar struggles, I truly understood what was happening on the inside.
I remember once, a long time ago, when I was new at a workplace. Some colleagues discussed a girl and said: “We have told her over and over, but she still does it.”
I joined the conversation and asked: “What do you think that is about?”
They answered that they didn’t know – that she was ignoring them.
I said: “She actually doesn’t understand what you mean, and she doesn’t know what else to do instead.”
The colleagues replied: “But we have told her not to do it.”
I repeated: “Yes, you’ve told her what not to do, but she doesn’t understand why – and she doesn’t know what she should do when her body tells her to move.”
That conversation didn’t change anything at the time. I was new, and my words probably didn’t carry much weight. But to me it was clear. It is in those exact situations that my ADHD becomes a strength – because I can see, feel and understand in a way that isn’t always visible from the outside.
When Words Find Their Own Way
And honestly, today I was supposed to write about something completely different – about being a grandmother. But these words found their way instead. They wanted to be written, and sometimes that’s how it is – the moment itself decides what needs space.
Maybe you recognize yourself? Or maybe you live close to someone with ADHD? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments – it makes a difference when we share our stories.
Reflection
Between the lines of this text live both strength and fragility. I am not writing about perfect solutions, but about everyday reality – where failures and successes walk side by side.
On Saturday we went to a lovely birthday party at our neighbor’s place – she’s the one who creates those beautiful YouTube clips for small children, educational and playful. As always, there was joy, laughter, and a warm atmosphere.
Gothenburg visit to our youngest son
Yesterday we headed to Gothenburg to visit our youngest son, who moved there last autumn. He and his girlfriend had just returned from Greece, sun-kissed and full of stories. We had coffee, checked out their now fully furnished apartment, and admired the cozy sofa he had built on their balcony. Honestly, I could imagine living out there myself! They had also reupholstered the headboard of their bed with a beautiful fabric – so creative and personal.
The plan was to have dinner at their place, but since we were quite a few, we decided to go out instead. Pizzas were ordered, and I chose a kebab salad – which, I must say, had very little salad in it. And when you choose a salad, you actually expect it to be filled with salad and the fresh things that belong there.
Blogging work and the Oskar series
This weekend was a reminder of how valuable both small and big moments can be. A birthday party or a balcony conversation in Gothenburg can bring just as much energy as a long trip. It’s the ordinary everyday memories that shape our lives.
Right now, I’m also working here on the blog, especially with the Oskar series, where I write about children, neurodivergence, and school life. This week we’ve been focusing on the post Motivating circumstances and invisible support. At the same time, I’m optimizing the blog to make it easier for both me and you as readers to find your way through all the posts.
A lot is happening – in everyday life and here on the blog.
Live today, right now. Yesterday is history, and tomorrow lies out there in the distance. Right now is what we can influence. – Carina Ikonen Nilsson
Reflection
This weekend reminded me that strength is often found in the simple things – in the laughter of a child’s party, in a chat on a balcony, in the ordinary meals we share. Life doesn’t have to be grand to be deeply meaningful.
Your Voice: Between the Lines
Between the lines, this post carries a sense of gratitude. To be present – in both small and big ways – is a gift I do not take for granted.
This is my story. ADHD in everyday life is my reality – as a mother, grandmother, and everyday anchor. It is also a story about hugs that linger in the heart, about the ability to forgive, and about the strength to stand firm – even when life puts me to the test. Above all, it is a story about love, because that is what I choose, every single day.
This post is personal. I share my story – not because I have all the answers, but because words sometimes become my way forward. ADHD is part of my life, and here I write as a mother, grandmother, and everyday anchor right in the middle of daily life.
Words are a way forward – but so are colors. Just like writing, my painting is a way to sort feelings and find breathing space.The lines form a pattern of thoughts – structure in the middle of chaos
A mother’s story of ADHD in everyday life
This is my story. About ADHD, about being a mother to adult children, and about the longing I carry as a grandmother at a distance. It is also a story about hugs that remain in the heart, about the ability to forgive, and about the strength to stand firm – even when life tests me. Above all, it is a story about love, because that is what I choose, every single day.
A mother’s story of living with ADHD
Living with ADHD means that my everyday life sometimes turns into a roller coaster. As a mother, it’s doubled – I carry both my own inner chaos and the responsibility for my family. It is tiredness, energy, laughter, and frustration, all tangled together.
At the same time, I have a greater understanding of what it feels like on the inside, how full of emotions one can be. When I am happy, it bubbles through my entire body. When I am sad, I cry uncontrollably. When I am angry, it is hard to stop.
There are days when the sounds are too loud, the demands too many, and my strength runs out before the day has even begun. Sometimes I end up lying in front of movie after movie without even knowing what I am watching – those days I do not like. But when I manage to do everything – and a little bit more – then I love the day more than anything else.
Mother, grandmother, and the longing from a distance
I am a mother to adult children. I am also a grandmother – but right now a grandmother at a distance. It isn’t far in miles, but still I don’t stand in the middle of their everyday life. That hurts, but I try to find ways to live in acceptance.
A hug that lingers in the heart
Family is important to me – it is us against the world, somehow. Last Thursday we went to deliver presents to one of my grandchildren. It wasn’t the actual birthday party day, but to avoid stirring things up it felt better to give the presents on another day. That way it wouldn’t be too much all at once.
When we stood there on the doorstep before the door opened, I felt cold inside. My heart beat faster than usual. I was afraid. Afraid of the reactions that might come. Afraid that the presents were wrong, that I would be rejected, that my gifts wouldn’t count.
But then the door opened. When I saw how happy she became with the presents, warmth spread through my entire body. That warmth carried like sparks all the way to my fingertips. And when we were leaving, I received a hug – one of those real hugs that gets stuck in the heart. I held her a little longer, as if to embrace all the days we hadn’t seen each other. I wished time could stop right there. That we could stay, close together, without letting go.
That hug stays with me still, even though days have passed.
For me, presents are more than gifts – they are my way of saying: I remain, I love you, I want to be close even when I am not always allowed to be. How I wish things were different. That we could sit down together and talk. That I could take the grandchildren for coffee, or just to the playground. If the day comes when the door opens wider, I will be here.
My weakness and my strength
I know that my ability to forgive is both good and bad. It makes me vulnerable to being hurt again, but it also makes me whole within myself. I dare to feel love, even when someone has hurt me. I forget and let you stand there once more. The hurt is gone, and for me it is so much more beautiful to live in friendship and love than to be bitter and angry.
Vulnerability and strength in the same image. To be seen – both blessing and burden
The everyday anchor
I am also an everyday anchor for children who have needed a place to land. For me, it is not a title. It is about opening the door, opening the heart, and saying: here you are welcome. Here you can feel at home.
My painting – as multifaceted as life itself. A space where every feeling belongs
Many children have lived here for a period and found a home. It became their home, and even as adults, we are still a safe place for them. Perhaps that is my greatest strength – to remain, to create a home, to choose love even when storms are raging.
Small moments that mean the most
Happiness lives in the small moments:
the laughter around the dinner table
the whispered “I love you” before bedtime
or that quiet second when I actually manage to just pause and breathe.
Those moments remind me that I am more than my diagnosis. I am a mother who tries, who falls, who rises, and keeps going. And still I carry gratitude for those small everyday moments.
FAQ – ADHD in everyday life
What does it mean to live with ADHD as an adult? Many adults with ADHD describe a daily life full of intensity. It can mean difficulties with planning, concentration, and structure, but also a strong energy, creativity, and an ability to think in new ways.
Can ADHD also be a strength? Yes. ADHD can bring qualities like creativity, problem-solving skills, curiosity, and energy. For many, these strengths become an important part of both work life and family life.
How can you support a parent with ADHD? By showing understanding and patience. It also makes a difference when you acknowledge their strengths – not just their challenges. Practical support in everyday life, structure, and open conversations can be crucial.
Reflection
Living with ADHD is living intensely. Sometimes too much, sometimes just enough. But by writing and sharing my story, I remind myself – and perhaps also you – that we are not alone.
Closing words
This is my story. One of many. About ADHD, about motherhood, and about living a life where chaos and love share the same roof.
Yesterday has already laid down to rest in history, tomorrow is waiting further ahead. But right now – this is where life happens. – Carina Ikonen Nilsson
Between the lines – my voice
In this text, I show both longing and strength. I carry the fear of being left outside, but also the warmth of a hug that lingers. Words and colors become my way of holding on to love. I remain, with both pain and hope – and I choose to live in what is, right now.
AHA – between the lines
I am a mother, grandmother, and creator. I choose love, even when it hurts. I stay, I create, I love – and within that, my strength lives.
My neighbor creates wonderful children’s films on YouTube – videos that both entertain and teach. Perfect little moments of learning and curiosity for kids. Click here to watch: Watch the children’s film here
Yesterday I cooked gluten-free chicken fillets in the Airfryer, with fresh salad from the greenhouse and my fluffy Afghan rice. Down in the basement, our worlds coexist. He with his order, me with my creative chaos. Yesterday it was chicken in the Airfryer, salad with greenhouse tomatoes, and Afghan rice – a dinner as simple as it was good. Today it is the same basement, the same us, yet the day carries something more: longing for Alfred and the afternoon ahead.
Yesterday I sat here in the basement. Our little hobby room. We both have our desktop computers down here and sit back-to-back. He in his chair, me in mine. He with WoW, sports and horses, me with pencils, painting, knitting and writing. We may not say much, but still, it is togetherness. At the same time, it is comforting to be close, even if we are doing completely different things. This room was once a storage room, but now it has become our space to play and create.
You will have to excuse the mess. But the mess is mine. I spread out. Brushes, paints, yarn and paper all over the place. That is why it feels alive, and not stiff. Maybe it is also my ADHD that makes the mess grow so fast – yet at the same time, that is where creativity lives. Here lie the ideas that turn into colors, words, and sometimes into food on the table.
Min målarhörna i källaren
My painting corner in the basement
Min skriv- och datorhörna
My writing and computer desk
Vårt gemensamma källarrum
Our shared basement room
Yesterday – Dinner on the Table
And yesterday I cooked, as usual. I take care of weekday dinners, while my husband cooks when he is off work. Gluten-free chicken fillets in the Airfryer. A salad with tomatoes and cucumbers from the greenhouse. I also mixed in the shredded carrots left over from the day before, plus alfalfa sprouts, red onion, lemon, oil and vinegar. Fresh and good. I have also shared my recipe for homemade pizza salad – simple, fresh and perfect as an everyday side dish.
Glutenfria kycklingfiléer på väg in i Airfryern
Crispy chicken with corn flour and panko
Gluten-free chicken fillets ready for the Airfryer
The chicken turned out crispy: corn flour → egg → gluten-free panko. Six minutes on each side in the Airfryer, and then into the oven for a while. It is important that they do not lie too close to each other. Alongside we had a cold sauce made of sour cream, mayonnaise, sambal oelek and chili sauce. And peanut sauce. Yes – you can easily make it yourself, and then all the flavors come through even more clearly. I link to an ICA recipe at the end, and I also include my own quick version.
Afghan rice – a family favorite
Perhaps not everyone’s favorite – my husband is not too fond of it. But my eldest son loves it, and that is mostly why I make it.
I cook it my own way – a twist on Afghan rice. I have said it before and I will say it again: rice must be washed! For a long time. The water must be clear. Then it needs to soak for a few hours.
Afghanskt ris i blötläggning
Afghan rice soaking in water
When I cook it, I use plenty of water, broth, curry, chili, garlic and onion. When it is done, I drain it and put it back in the pot with a paper towel under the lid. In this way the rice becomes fluffy and light.
Today – Longing for Alfred
But that was yesterday. Today is a new day. Still, I sit here in the same basement. The same mess, the same chairs. But not quite the same us, because my husband will soon leave for work – so we are no longer back-to-back. Today my thoughts are elsewhere. With Alfred.
I am already longing, even though the day has barely begun. Later this afternoon I get to pick him up from school. That thought makes me warm inside. To see him, to hear what he wants to tell me, to be a part of his afternoon. That is exactly what I am looking forward to.
Between the Lines
Yesterday was all about food and flavors, even about quiet togetherness back-to-back. Today it is about waiting. Here between the lines lies closeness: it is about having a place. But it is also about sharing everyday life. It is about longing for someone you love. And maybe this too is part of living with ADHD – that everything happens at once, that the mess becomes part of the whole, but also that joy often hides right there.
Now I am curious about you – how is it for you? How does your everyday clutter look – neat and tidy, or creative chaos?
Reflection
Maybe it is right here that life feels most real – in yesterday’s dinner, even if it is also in today’s longing. In the mess down here, and at the same time in the silence back-to-back. Here I experience, even while I see the small moments, which together shape everything in our lives. It is here we can feel within ourselves – in those everyday moments that, therefore, become life in its purest simplicity.
Yesterday has already settled into history, tomorrow waits further ahead. But right now – this is where life happens. – Carina Ikonen Nilsson
Frequently Asked Questions about Gluten-Free Chicken Fillets in the Airfryer
How do you cook gluten-free chicken fillets in the Airfryer? Place the seasoned chicken fillets in the Airfryer basket and cook at 180°C (350°F) for about 18–20 minutes. Flip halfway through for even cooking.
Does chicken stay juicy in the Airfryer? Yes, the Airfryer gives the chicken a crispy outside while keeping the inside tender and juicy.
What spices work best for chicken in the Airfryer? A simple mix of salt, pepper, paprika, and a little olive oil always works well. You can also add garlic, chili, or herbs depending on your taste.
Can I cook frozen chicken fillets in the Airfryer? Yes, but it takes a little longer. Plan for 22–25 minutes instead of 18–20 minutes, depending on the size of the fillets.
Keep warm in the oven until all are done (place them with space between).
Serve with:
Cold sauce: sour cream + mayonnaise + sambal oelek + chili sauce. Taste your way – I often do this with all my cooking, letting the taste buds decide.
Peanut sauce: see quick version below or follow the ICA recipe.
Peanut Sauce – Homemade (Quick Version)
100 ml peanut butter
about 100 ml water (adjust for consistency)
1–2 tbsp soy sauce
1 small garlic clove, grated
1 tsp grated ginger
chili flakes or sambal oelek to taste
1–2 tsp lime juice or a splash of white wine vinegar
a pinch of sugar or honey
Heat gently in a saucepan and stir until smooth. Taste and adjust salt, heat and acidity – homemade usually gives more flavor because you decide the balance yourself.
(ICA recipe link: add here)
Afghan Rice – My Version
Wash the rice thoroughly until the water is clear.
Let it soak for a few hours.
Cook in plenty of water with broth and spices (my twist: curry, chili, garlic, onion).
Taste – when done, drain.
Return to the pot with a paper towel under the lid.
Result: fluffy, flavorful and the perfect side dish.
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