Etikett: Everyday life Sida 1 av 2

Dreams and self-reflection by the lake – a wooden pier glowing in the morning light.

Dreams and Self-Reflection – When Everyday Life Speaks and Learning Comes Alive

When the Cookbook Becomes Life’s Manual and Every Page a New Understanding

Dreams and Self-Reflection

Dreams and self-reflection sometimes weave together in the most unexpected ways.
Last night I remembered my dreams – two images that felt so close to what I’m living right now.
It’s about growth, learning, and turning pages – both in books and in life.
And perhaps most of all: about trusting the process where knowledge and experience slowly turn into inner safety.

Read this post in Swedish ->Drömmar och självreflektion – när livet blir lärande


Dreams and Self-Reflection – The Language of Dreams

First, I dreamed of little Emilia, my granddaughter.
We were sitting together with a cookbook, tearing out pages and putting the recipes in a new order.
It may sound strange, but it felt symbolic – as if we were creating new structures, new flavors in life.

Then came another dream: a book, and I turned the pages, one by one.
A simple act, yet filled with meaning.
I think those two dreams belong together – a reminder of how dreams and self-reflection can guide us through change.

Dreams and self-reflection in nature’s silence – mist rising between mountains and lake.

Between the mountains and the sky – where thoughts and dreams meet in silence.


Dreams and Self-Reflection in Motion

When I think about it, maybe the dreams weren’t that strange after all.
The cookbook Emilia and I worked on felt like an image of what I’m doing now – I’m not tearing knowledge apart, I’m simply rearranging it.
I’m moving recipes, trying new ways, and letting old wisdom take on new flavors.

That’s exactly how my studies feel – like a living form of dreams and self-reflection in motion.
I use everything I’ve learned over the years, but I do it in my own way now – with my voice, my experience, my heart.

And that other dream – the one where I turned the pages – is probably about trusting the process.
Letting life show its pages one at a time, without rushing to the end.
It’s the same feeling I carry in my education: not everything needs to be understood at once.
The important thing is that I’m in motion, in learning, in growth.

The dreams feel like confirmation.
I’m creating my own cookbook – not with recipes for food, but with recipes for connection.
Conversations, empathy, presence.
What I’m learning now isn’t new in itself – but the way I’m learning it anchors the knowledge deeply in my body.


Dreams and Self-Reflection – When Knowledge Takes Form

I’ve always had a lot of practical knowledge – steady, intuitive, natural.
But now, during my training as a therapeutic counselor, I’m gaining something I’ve missed: the chance to weave together experience and theory.

I notice it in every lesson. I get full marks on the assignments, not because I’m better than anyone else, but because I’ve carried this understanding in me for so long.
The difference now is that I understand why I do what I do.
It’s as if knowledge is moving from being learned to becoming integrated in the body – it lands, matures, and deepens.

But it’s more than that. It feels like knowledge has now found its home inside me, resting safely on a foundation that’s been reinforced.
As if I’ve drained away the surface-level knowledge built on others’ interpretations and begun to read between the lines within myself.

I no longer read just the back cover or someone else’s summary.
Now I build my understanding from within, from all the conversations I’ve had through the years working in treatment and care.
That’s where my foundation grows – from real people, real meetings, real emotions.

Previous courses gave me tools.
This education gives me depth, grounding, and confidence in what I already know – but now with language, theory, and awareness that make it whole.

I now feel more one with the knowledge – as if it has become part of my breathing, a way of seeing, listening, and understanding.
It’s as if I’m no longer standing beside the conversation – I’m inside it.
Knowledge is no longer something I carry – it carries me.

Read also: Positive Psychology in Everyday Life – Living with Presence and Joy


A Cold Swim and a Warm Heart

Of course, there was a swim today.
My lake sisters and I braved rain and wind – the water must have been below ten degrees, because it bit sharply at the skin.
But that’s the point: to breathe, feel, and be here, now.
When you step out of the water, endorphins meet the body’s defense, and everything becomes warm and still inside.

The swim, just like my studies, reminds me that growth happens through contrast.
The cold awakens warmth, discomfort leads to strength, and stillness carries learning.

Related post: Morning Dips and Everyday Joy – Meeting the Day by the Lake


Dreams and Self-Reflection – Rearranging Inside and Out

When I got home, the little one arrived – sniffly but happy.
Between nose blows, he helped me rearrange the living room – again.

My husband will probably shake his head and say, “What you can’t change inside yourself, you change on the outside.”
Maybe he’s right.
But I think it was me who planted that thought in him from the beginning – even if he’d never admit it today.

And maybe that’s how it is: every time I rearrange the furniture, something small inside me finds its place too.


Reflection

Maybe the dreams, the swim, the studies, and the rearranging all connect.
It’s all about movement, change, and allowing things to shift – both in thought and in space.
Last night I turned a page.
Today I rearranged the room.
And somewhere between those moments, a deeper understanding grew – a quiet calm that tells me I’m on the right path.

Everything is movement, change, and dreams and self-reflection woven into everyday life.

Dreams and self-reflection by the lake – a wooden pier glowing in the morning light.

In every layer of mist lives a thought longing to be understood.


AHA – Between the Lines

What I feel most strongly right now is that I am part of my own development – right in the middle of what has always fascinated me most: the power of conversation.
Conversations heal.
They carry, lift, and mend – both the listener and the speaker.

I’m beginning to truly understand that it’s about trusting the process – not forcing, not knowing everything, but resting in the fact that it unfolds anyway.
Knowledge has taken on both body and soul.
And somewhere between theory and feeling, the conversation becomes a living space where people can truly meet.

Related reading: Leaving the Victim Role – When History Rests and I Choose to Live Now


malix.se/ Carina Ikonen Nilsson


“Yesterday has already found its rest in history, tomorrow waits farther ahead.
But right now – this is where life happens.”

Carina Ikonen Nilsson


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Dimma över sjön med en ensam badbrygga – en bild av stillhet när den där sorgen knackar på igen.

Blog Statistics malix.se October 2025

Blog statistics malix.se October 2025 shows two quiet weeks without social media sharing, yet readers kept finding their way here. On trust, quiet weeks, and a blog that stands on its own

Read this on Swedish here.


Blog statistics malix.se October 2025 – when I stopped sharing

Blog statistics malix.se October 2025 reflects two quiet weeks when I chose not to share any posts on social media.
No links on Facebook, no Threads updates – just quiet publishing.
It wasn’t planned as an experiment, but it turned out to be one.
A test of trust.

What happens when I let my words travel on their own, without pushing them forward?
The answer came slowly but clearly: the blog lives, even in silence.


When words find their own way

Even without sharing, readers still found their way here.
Not as quickly as before, but with a different kind of presence.
It feels as if people now come because they want to, not because a link appeared in a feed.

That thought makes me quietly happy.
malix.se seems to have become a place people return to – not just pass by.


Blog statistics and what they tell about direction

Looking at the most-read posts, a familiar pattern appears.
Texts about positive psychology, gratitude, and the slower rhythm of everyday life continue to speak to people.
When I write straight from the heart – about calm mornings, autumn colors, or a simple act of presence – those words stay alive the longest.

Maybe that’s why the traffic remains stable, even without social media.
When words come from honesty, they find their way.


Readers from near and far

Blog statistics malix.se October 2025 also shows that readers keep coming from many parts of the world.
Mostly from Sweden, but also from the United States, India, and Greece.
It feels almost magical to imagine someone far away reading about my misty morning swim at a Swedish lake – and perhaps recognizing the same stillness in their own way.


When the blog carries itself

A few readers chose to support the blog through PayPal.
That means more than words can tell.
Behind each click is someone who recognized something in what I wrote,
someone who wants the writing to continue.
That quiet encouragement is a sign that the blog truly carries itself.


Two weeks of reflection – blog statistics malix.se October 2025

Two weeks without social media became two weeks of trust.
I learned that I don’t need to shout to be heard.
The blog stands there like a steady friend, breathing on its own when I let it.

Maybe life works the same way – sometimes we need to rest from chasing,
to see that what we already have actually works.


Looking back – two quiet weeks

The week before was much the same.
I shared sparingly, almost not at all, and expected the traffic to drop.
But it didn’t.
Views remained steady, readers stayed, and malix.se continued in its own rhythm.
It feels like the blog has grown into something larger than my efforts –
a space that lives on, even when I am silent.


AHA – between the lines

When we release control, we discover the quiet strength in what we’ve already built.


Two weeks of reflection – blog statistics malix.se October 2025

Two quiet weeks gave me peace.
No scheduling, no posting, no links – only writing, publishing, and letting go.
Maybe that’s where I want to stay for a while –
somewhere between movement and stillness,
between doing and simply being.


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Support my writing via PayPal

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malix.se/ Carina Ikonen Nilsson

Yesterday has already settled into history, tomorrow waits ahead.
But right now – this is where life happens.
– Carina Ikonen Nilsson

If you want to read more, visit
Living with Positive Psychology – as I see it
or Gratitude in Everyday Life – A Cold Swim and a Warm Evening.
If you’d like to read more about how gratitude supports emotional well-being, visit PositivePsychology.com.


Mushrooms growing side by side in nature – a symbol of harmony, balance, and ethics and morality in everyday life.

Ethics and Morality in Everyday Life – a Misty Morning

A misty morning by the lake awakens thoughts about stillness, rhythm and ethics and morality in everyday life. In the cold clarity of the water, body and mind wake up together, reaching for balance.

Read this post in Swedish ->En ny morgon – om etik och moral i vardagen


Just like in nature, we grow best when balance, respect and cooperation are allowed to exist side by side.


Morning Swim, Coffee Aroma and Ethics and Morality in Everyday Life

It was another beautiful morning.
The night had been restless – tossing and turning, warm, cold, warm again.
But now it was morning, a new day to take care of. The coffee beside me smelled rich and aromatic. My grandmother’s lamps were lit, spreading their soft glow across the dark dawn.

Before 7:50 I was already by the lake.
On the way there, mist hung thick, and the world felt almost enchanted. A woodpecker climbed a tree while small birds fluttered around its trunk mirrored in the still water.

The morning lay quiet and misty over the lake in Högsäter. Here, surrounded by silence and birds, the day began with a cold and invigorating swim – a moment of stillness and reflection on ethics and morality in everyday life.

Misty morning at the lake in Högsäter – silence, reflection and awakening with ethics and morality in everyday life.
The morning lay quiet and misty over the lake in Högsäter. Here, among birds and stillness, the day began with a cold and life-giving swim – a moment of reflection on ethics and morality in everyday life.

The water held just over ten degrees, and therefore the chill awakened every part of me. I floated for a while, breathing in the silence. Leaves from the tree at the water’s edge drifted like small islands on the surface – the whole morning felt like a painting, still and almost unreal.


New Swim Cap and the Steps Home – Ethics and Morality in Everyday Life

Today I also wore my new swim cap, the one that says “Vinterbadarna i Högsäter – Keep Up.”
I smiled as I put it on, because it felt like a promise to myself – to keep going, to hold on, even when it’s cold.

Grey swim cap with the text “Vinterbadarna i Högsäter – Keep Up” – symbol of strength, connection and ethics and morality in everyday life.
The new swim cap – Vinterbadarna in Högsäter – became a small joy of the day. A reminder to keep going, even through the cold. Sometimes, that’s what ethics and morality in everyday life truly means.

The new swim cap – Vinterbadarna i Högsäter, Keep Up – became a small joy of the day.
A reminder to keep going, even when the cold bites.
However, sometimes that’s what ethics and morality in everyday life really means – to continue in love, even through resistance.

Homemade muesli roasting in the oven – the scent of simple joy and ethics and morality in everyday life.
After the swim came warmth. The scent of oranges, raisins and freshly roasted muesli filled the kitchen – a reminder of simple joy and ethics and morality in everyday life.

When I stepped out of the water, wrapped myself in my robe and drove home, breakfast was waiting.
My cottage-cheese bread with orange and raisins filled the air with pure joy. In the oven, a new tray of homemade muesli was roasting, and the day ahead would hold reading – a little mindfulness, personal growth, and conversation methodology.
That will be enough for today.


After the swim came warmth. The scent of oranges, raisins and freshly roasted muesli filled the kitchen – a reminder of simple joy and ethics and morality in everyday life.


Thoughts on Ethics and Morality in Everyday Life

Yesterday morning I spent time reading my study notes, reflecting on what truly matters in the subjects of ethics and grief.
Ethics is a topic I’ve always loved deeply. Over the years, I’ve seen what happens when people act without it.
So much goes wrong when ethical thinking is missing from how we treat one another.

It’s an important topic, one that needs to be discussed in workplaces and in society at large.
We need more ethics and morality in everyday life – among politicians, healthcare workers, municipalities and schools.
Everywhere people meet, there must be understanding, dignity and respect.

We all need to keep working on this, especially those of us in helping professions.
Our ethical compass should guide us to reflect on what we did, what worked well, and what could have been better.

The person we meet often wants to do right but can’t – not yet.
If the encounter becomes tense or difficult, we must still meet them with respect and remind ourselves:

They want to, but they can’t. Not yet.

When we hold that understanding, it becomes possible to meet – even in the storm.
I’ve met many people who have been in that place of helplessness, unable to act in the moment.
It’s not easy, still, when the compass is set right, there are always paths to take.


When the Child Is Caught in Between – Ethics, Morality and Alienation

Lately I’ve been reading a lot about parental alienation.
It appears everywhere – in articles, discussions and social media.
The situation where a child is pulled away from one parent, and what that does to their heart.

It’s clear to me that a parent who turns a child against the other does the child a deep disservice.
Their actions tell the child, silently:

You’re only good enough if you think like me.

But there’s another side, too.
Sometimes it isn’t about the will to harm, but about fear, pain or anger.
A parent who feels betrayed or afraid of losing their child might draw them too close – and in doing so, pull them away from another part of themselves.
Because the child is made of both parents.

Research shows that children in such situations often feel confusion, sadness, guilt and shame.
They love both parents but are forced to choose, often without understanding why.
They learn early that some feelings can’t be shown, that certain memories should be hidden, and that loyalty comes with a price.

Inside grows a quiet grief – over what’s no longer shared.
As adults, many describe a sense of never being enough.
Love became conditional:

You’re good only if you choose the right side.

But there is hope.
Because as much as a child carries pain, they also carry the strength to heal, given support, safety and understanding.
A child is never broken – only wounded. And wounds can heal.

Read more about Parental Alienation – Psychological Impact on Children.


Distance and Quiet Hope

Sometimes I think it’s not about will or malice at all, but rather about fear.
the fear of conflict, of losing peace, of stirring things up.
Perhaps that’s why some choose distance: to protect stillness, not to cause harm.

I try to remember that silence doesn’t always mean rejection.
Sometimes it’s simply a way of finding calm.
Yet even silence carries weight – it holds words that were never said.

I don’t know what the road ahead looks like,
but I do know that love doesn’t disappear just because we can’t meet.
It remains, like a soft breath in the air – waiting, quiet, without demand.
And perhaps, one day, it will find its way back again.


Ethics in the Small and the Great

In the end, all of this is really about ethics and morality in everyday life, just in different forms.
When we talk about alienation, or about the distance between people,
what we’re really talking about is how we meet each other as human beings.

Ethics doesn’t just belong in workplaces or institutions.
It lives in our daily lives, in our relationships,
in how we speak about one another, and in what we let our children hear.

To meet another person with dignity, respect and understanding – that is the essence of ethics.
To see that even those who have hurt us might carry something we cannot see.
To remain in what is true and good, even when it hurts.

For me, this has become clear: ethics isn’t just something I study.
It’s something I try to live – in every meeting, in every thought.
That’s where the path begins, in work and in life.


Reflection on Ethics and Morality in Everyday Life

Ethics. Morality. Humanity.
Three words that may sound big, yet at their heart, they mean simply seeing each other with kindness.
Therefore, before we judge, we pause. Before we reply, we listen.
And remembering – we never truly know what another person carries inside.

If you’d like to read more about gratitude and everyday ethics, visit
Positive Psychology in Everyday Life. in the post it is a link to English.


malix.se/ Carina Ikonen Nilsson

Yesterday has already rested in history. Tomorrow waits a little further ahead.
But right now – this is where life happens.

– Carina Ikonen Nilsson


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Subscribe to my blog:

Follow malix.se here


Oskar Series – Understanding


Morning

Morning again, and with my coffee beside me come thoughts of the Oskar Series understanding – how we meet, learn, and grow as adults.
The two lamps that once belonged to my grandmother cast a warm light in the darkness. The cat is outside, the house still asleep, and the morning is calm.

Read this in Swedish ->Oskar serien bemötande och vuxenansvar i vardagen

Today I will wrap the Christmas gifts my daughter and I bought in Ullared – a day filled with laughter, bargains, and reflection.
At the same time, my thoughts wander to the Oskar Series understanding and adult responsibility – how we, as adults, can meet children with empathy and help them grow in their abilities.

Coffee cup in morning light – reflection on the Oskar Series, understanding, and adult responsibility

This post is a personal reflection, inspired by experiences and thoughts about adult responsibility and the way we meet others.
It is not about a specific event, but about the inner process that awakens when we want to protect – and then realize how important it is to meet with calm and understanding.


A Day in Ullared

The trip to Ullared became more than just shopping. We found shoes, clothes, boots, and gifts – almost everything ready for December.
I even made a real find: a pair of Sketchers boots that usually cost around 1,500 SEK, but there – only 800.
They were so comfortable that it was impossible not to buy them.

My little boy got new pajamas, clothes, and a cap that made him happy.
My little girl received a few small Christmas gifts and a pair of cool boots.
It was a long day – we left home at seven in the morning and didn’t return until nine in the evening.
But now almost all the gifts are wrapped, and the feeling of being prepared brings a quiet peace.

Have you ever felt that mix of exhaustion and gratitude after a long, good day?


When the Tiger in Me Awoke – a Thought on the Oskar Series and Adult Responsibility

In the middle of everyday joy, something unexpected happened.
An email, not particularly kind, awakened something inside me – the tiger.
Suddenly, all the children I’ve ever met stood before me.
Not only my own, but also the young people I’ve had the privilege to work with over the years.

It was about understanding and adult responsibility.
About how adults sometimes put the blame on children – as if they alone carried the weight of what went wrong.
I felt my whole being rise up.
For me, it’s clear that when we work with children, we adults always carry the greatest responsibility.
We are the ones who must see, listen, and understand.

Children don’t misbehave out of malice. They act in the only way they can – based on their experiences, their capacities, and the safety or uncertainty that adults have created around them.
Do you recognize that feeling, when your concern for a child wakes the lion within you?


Afterward – Oskar Series, Understanding, and Adult Responsibility

In hindsight, I regret my own behavior.
I let the tiger take over and, for a moment, forgot my responsibility as an adult.
I should have stood firmer in myself and spoken about what really matters – the adult responsibility.
To create conditions for children to grow in their ability, not to remind them of what they cannot yet do.

In reflection, I see how I would rather have met the situation with a calm, soft voice.
I wish I had said:

“I want us to find solutions. How can we, together, help, see, and allow the child to grow? What can I do to make things easier? What is my responsibility?”

I wish I had offered to come, to explain what works and what doesn’t.
I wish I had said:

“We’re doing this together. I am in my role and you in yours – is there something we can do to make the path easier?”

Being an adult means carrying the ultimate responsibility: to meet children with respect, patience, and belief in their potential.

At the same time, I believe reflection is something we all need – even the other adult in that situation.
Sometimes we are so busy defending our own perspective that we forget to pause, breathe, and see the child together.
I should have invited the other person into the dance of reflection – that quiet movement where curiosity replaces defense.
But I didn’t. Perhaps it’s because I haven’t yet learned to dance, and that’s exactly what I need to practice.

When I read that email, I suddenly saw all the children I’ve met – those who struggled, those who carried heavy things.
I could almost feel them standing behind me, whispering: Don’t forget us. Keep speaking for us.
That’s what the Oskar Series, understanding, and adult responsibility is really about – seeing the child behind each reaction and realizing that we all have something to learn.


Oskar Knocks Again! Oskar Series, Understanding, and Adult Responsibility in Everyday Life

All these words – they’re really about little Oskar.
You know, Oskar from the NPF & School series, now resting for a while.
Maybe it’s him knocking again?
Perhaps it’s time to continue writing – about how important it is that we adults take our responsibility, dare to see the child behind the behavior, and stay present in the meeting.

How often do your own “Oskar moments” knock at the door? Those moments when your heart says: See the child behind the words.

Read more posts in The Oskar Series – NPF & School
and be inspired by Kay Pollak’s reflections on responsibility and human connection.


AHA

Sometimes our strongest reactions don’t come from anger but from love – from the wish to protect.
Yet the way back to calm reminds me of something even more important: even adults, just like in the Oskar Series, understanding, and adult responsibility, must keep practicing how to grow.


Between the Lines

When calm returns and the tiger within me rests, I see that it’s not about winning a war, but about understanding why we react as we do – and what that reveals about what we care to protect.
It also reminds me that my own reaction must remain calm.
For all the children who once stood before me, hoping I would keep fighting for them – I need that calm.
Because it’s in calmness that the real work can be done, it’s there that change begins.


Reflection

Now the coffee stands beside me again. The soft glow from my grandmother’s lamps fills the room.
The day lies untouched before me, with wrapping paper and ribbons waiting.
Outside, the sky begins to brighten.

Maybe it’s Oskar whispering: See me, understand me – I’m just trying to make it through another day.
And I whisper back: I’ll keep practicing being the adult – the one who helps you grow.
That’s part of the Oskar Series, understanding, and adult responsibility – a daily exercise in seeing, understanding, and growing together.

What This Taught Me

This meeting – between emotion and responsibility – became a reminder that calm isn’t always there from the start, but it can always be found again.
I learned that adults, too, need to keep practicing how to grow, to face their own reactions, and to choose presence instead of defense.
Perhaps it’s right there, in the stillness after the storm, that real learning happens – for both the children and for us adults.

malix.se/ Carina Ikonen Nilsson

Live today, right now.
The day before yesterday was the tiger, yesterday the reflection, today the action, and tomorrow will be the rest.
Maybe I’ve already learned something – perhaps even right now.

– Carina Ikonen Nilsson

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This text is a personal reflection, not a description of any specific person, place, or situation. Its purpose is to inspire understanding and shared responsibility in how we meet children.


Kay Pollak Choose Happiness – Words That Have Become Vital in My Life

Kay Pollak choose happiness – two words that have become important in my life.
Here I share how his ideas on personal responsibility help me in everyday life: from messy breakfast mornings to the deeper pain of distance from my son and grandchildren. It’s a story about pausing, choosing your response, and creating your own joy.

Read this post in Swedish ->Kay Pollak välja lycka – när hans ord flyttar in i mig


At home we have paused our Storytel subscription for a while, which means I now listen to podcasts instead. Podcasts don’t paint long, poetic pictures like a book, but they give me something else – other people’s words and experiences. And sometimes that is exactly what I need.

Yesterday I chose my all-time favorite. I’ll write his name even though my husband might shake his head if he happened to read this: Kay Pollak. His voice has followed me for many years, and my husband has heard plenty of quotes from him.


Who Is Kay Pollak?

For those who don’t know: Kay Pollak is a Swedish author, lecturer and film director.
He is known for his thoughts on self-leadership, joy and inner freedom, expressed in books like Att välja glädje (Choose Joy) and Att växa genom möten (To Grow Through Encounters). He also directed the internationally acclaimed film As It Is in Heaven.

In his talks and books, he returns again and again to the same core insight:

We cannot decide what happens to us – but we can choose how we react.

It sounds simple. But for me, it has been life-changing.


Kay Pollak Choose Happiness in Everyday Life

When I first started listening to Kay Pollak, I learned to pause in the moment.

Sun rays breaking through dark clouds – symbol of Kay Pollak choose happiness and taking responsibility in life’s challenges.

Take a normal morning: I come home from work and find the kitchen counter full of crumbs, a butter pack left out. I used to get furious and take it personally – as if I were just the cleaning lady in my own home.

But when I let Kay Pollak’s words settle in, I could stop and think:
They must have had a stressful morning. How wonderful that the kids still had time for breakfast.
Maybe my husband was simply exhausted last night.

And you know what? It was so much easier to feel happy on the mornings when I thought kinder thoughts.

The same with my daughter on those days when she woke up in a storm and pressed every trigger I had. In the past I would react immediately. But when I saw the tiredness behind her frustration, I could choose another way to respond – exactly what she needed: a mother who looked beyond the behavior.


The Greatest Test – My Son and Grandchildren

This insight reaches far beyond morning routines.
The distance from my adult son hurts. I miss my grandchildren. Sometimes part of me wants to put blame somewhere. But deep down I know I never want to give him guilt. I want to love him – and I do. I wish him every happiness, even if I’m not part of his children’s lives.

I cannot control his choices. I can only choose my own attitude.
Choose to live.
Choose to be happy – even with longing in my heart.


Happiness as an Active Choice

It may sound unusual, but I truly believe I can choose whether to be happy or unhappy. Happiness is not just a feeling that happens to us. It is a choice I make again and again, in big and small things.

I can fill my life with what gives meaning – writing, painting, morning swims, and the community of those who are here.
That is my responsibility.

I cannot take responsibility for other people’s reactions,
but I can take responsibility for how I relate to them.


Questions for You

  • How do you think about choosing happiness in your own life?
  • Have you experienced how a different response completely changed a tough situation?
  • Is there someone whose words have moved into your life the way Kay Pollak’s words have into mine?

Feel free to share in the comments – your words might spark new thoughts for someone else.


Between the Lines – My Voice

Behind these words lies a quiet gratitude. I see how my patterns have been shaped by both inheritance and choice – and how freedom can begin in a single thought.
Taking responsibility for your own life is not about carrying everything alone, but about choosing how to meet what happens.


Reflection

In every choice of thought there is a small freedom. To pause, to breathe before the word or reaction comes, can change an entire day. This is not denying grief but carrying it with gentler hands. Kay Pollak’s words remind me that life can indeed feel lighter when I choose a softer response.


AHA – Between the Lines

Happiness is not something someone else can give. It is my own creation – in dishes left on the counter, in children who sometimes push away, in the deep longing for those I love. I can grieve and still choose joy. In that tension between pain and the will to live, freedom arises.


Höstbild från Kungshamn.

Yesterday has already laid itself to rest in history, and tomorrow waits somewhere ahead. But right now – this is where life happens.
– Carina Ikonen Nilsson


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FAQ – About Kay Pollak and Choosing Happiness

What does Kay Pollak mean by “choose happiness”?
He teaches that while we cannot control what happens, we can choose our response. By pausing and seeing situations differently, we can create more joy.

How have you applied his thoughts?
By pausing in everyday moments – like facing a messy kitchen or a child’s bad morning mood – and choosing a calmer response that leads to peace instead of conflict.

Can you really choose happiness when life hurts?
Yes. It doesn’t mean pain disappears. It means acknowledging grief without getting stuck. I carry the sorrow of distance from my son, but I choose to live and find joy.

Where can I learn more about Kay Pollak?
Check out his books such as Choose Joy (Att välja glädje) and To Grow Through Encounters (Att växa genom möten), available in bookstores, audiobooks and podcasts.
You can also visit Kay Pollak’s official website for more inspiration.

Autumn’s Quiet Days

The morning is still dark as the smell of coffee fills the living room. At first, I felt the words had dried up, but as the candles flicker, thoughts begin to move again. In this post I share a quiet autumn morning, the final garden chores, and reflections on how feelings and thoughts sometimes play tricks on us.

Read this post in Swedish ➜ Höstens stilla dagar


Autumn Morning in Stillness

It is still dark outside, the clock barely past dawn. Coffee steams in my cup while one lamp and two small candles light the room. I’ve been up for a while, but only now opened my laptop. It feels as if the words have run out, as if I am writing the last lines here for a while. Autumn has sighed its first breath, and I imagine its yellow leaves drifting even onto this blog.

But maybe that’s only a feeling. As if time has paused and the air itself stands still.


Thoughts Moving at a Slow Pace

The days go by. I do ordinary things. The ambitions I had before autumn quietly slid into a slower rhythm of not-doing. I feel stuck at home. Morning swims have paused, evening walks happen only on nights when I have the strength to join my husband – and not even every time. Perhaps illness is slowing me down, or maybe it’s simply time for rest.


The Greenhouse and the Garden’s Rest

Today promises sunshine, and I plan to tidy the greenhouse. I’ll pick the last ripe tomatoes, cut down the plants and spread the soil from the pots onto my garden beds as preparation for next year. Pots will be washed, the rain barrel emptied, and the greenhouse allowed to rest through winter.

gurka som växer till sig i växthuset.

young cucumbers sprouting in the greenhouse

I wonder if I am starting too soon. When do seasoned gardeners do this? Still, I want it done now, to avoid standing in January realizing something was left undone.


Tips: Autumn Tasks for Your Garden

As autumn settles in, a few small steps help your garden thrive next year:

  • Harvest the last crops – tomatoes, beans, apples, and root vegetables.
  • Cut back and clean – remove old plants and weeds so the soil can rest.
  • Cover with leaves or compost – to nourish and protect the soil.
  • Plant garlic and spring bulbs – garlic planted in September or October will reward you next summer.
  • Protect sensitive plants – cover roses, dahlias and others with leaves or spruce branches.
  • Empty rain barrels – so they don’t freeze and crack.

Small, calm steps that make a big difference in spring.
For more inspiration, see
Odla.nu – Autumn in the Garden or
Nelson Garden – Autumn Garden Tips (Swedish pages, easily translated in your browser).


Summer Memories and Next Year’s Dreams

This summer brought the quiet joy of growing things. Tomatoes tasted of pure summer, cucumbers were a delight to pick, and lettuce grew in abundance – maybe too much. Next year I’ll plan better and start seedlings at the right time. Soon I’ll plant garlic and pre-sprout onions. Our potatoes weren’t many, but they were delicious.

We also planted two apple trees: Ingrid Marie for its wonderful flavor, and Astrakan, which carries memories from the film The Emigrants. I hope both trees survive the winter.


Thoughts and Feelings That Play Tricks

Quite a lot of words for someone who just felt empty of them. Maybe it was only one of those fleeting feelings that sneak in when darkness still rests outside the window. Thoughts can be tricky. They whisper that everything has stopped and that the air stands still. But it isn’t always true.

Often they are just shadows of worry or tiredness, echoes of a restless night. Sometimes they play pranks, mixing up a quiet pause with an ending. Perhaps the real strength lies in seeing that not every thought has to become a truth. In that space—where you breathe and let the thought pass—new words, new steps and new days can quietly begin.


Reflection

This morning reminds me that stillness is not an end. Even a slow start can hold seeds of something new. Maybe it is in the pause that the next chapter quietly forms.


Between the Lines – My Voice

Beneath the words lives a longing for balance. A rest that is not escape but preparation. A reminder that nature knows when it’s time to gather strength.


AHA – Between the Lines

Perhaps this is really a story about more than greenhouses and autumn. When I thought my words had gone silent, they were still breathing inside me like a quiet rhythm. It’s as if nature and writing remind me that everything can move at its own pace. Pauses are not endings; they too are part of creation.


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Höstbild från Kungshamn.

Yesterday has already gone to rest in history, tomorrow waits further ahead. But right now – this is where life happens. – Carina Ikonen Nilsson


Rainy Autumn Day with Oven-Baked Salmon and Hollandaise Sauce

A rainy autumn day with oven-baked salmon and hollandaise sauce turned into a story of morning writing peace, candle shopping, and a long walk that brought both strength and inspiration. Here is the whole day in words – and the recipe that adds flavor to the evening.

Läs det här på Svenska Regnig höstdag med ugnslax och hollandaisesås


Rainy autumn day with oven-baked salmon and hollandaise sauce – from morning calm to evening meal

Saturday morning. The aroma of coffee met the quiet while my keyboard clicked away. My morning writing time is sacred – a private bubble before the house wakes.

My husband appeared, camera ready. He wanted to head out right away, but I was deep in my words. He went alone. Ten minutes later the sky broke open. Rain poured down. I listened to the drumming on the window and smiled – sometimes the sofa wins. He returned soaked, laughing, with no pictures in the camera.


Flavors that prepare a rainy autumn day with oven-baked salmon and hollandaise sauce

After a shower I set the table with crayfish and shrimp – Friday’s untouched plan turned into Saturday luxury. The cat stayed outside, so we ate in peace.

I saved the shells. They sizzled in a pot with onion, garlic and carrot until the kitchen filled with the scent of sea and spice. Water went in, then a slow simmer – creating a deep, rich stock. Not everyone loves the smell, but the taste is worth keeping.

How I make the seafood stock

  1. Sauté the shrimp and crayfish shells with coarsely chopped onion, carrots and garlic until lightly browned.
  2. Add enough water to cover.
  3. Simmer for at least 30 minutes, skimming off any foam.
  4. Strain and use the stock right away – or freeze for soups and sauces.

Searching for a bike – and candles for the dark season

With the stock on low heat we headed to town. Lillkillen and my niece joined us. The goal was a bike at Biltema, but no luck – they had stopped selling bikes.

A rainy autumn day
A rainy autumn day

We continued to Ikea, where we happily stocked up on candles. After spending about five hundred kronor, the car smelled of vanilla and cinnamon – autumn evenings secured. At Citygross I thought of a pizza party, but my niece declined and didn’t want anything else. She probably ate well when she got home, because she didn’t eat a thing here. My brother picked her up later.


A little tech help and local news

Before they left, my younger brother and I chatted about life. He helped adjust the TV so I can now watch Västnytt, the regional news, instead of Stockholm news. For half a year I hadn’t realized that was possible, so I kept watching the wrong region and feeling slightly annoyed. He also set up several movies on Netflix for cozy autumn evenings.


Long walk with cows as our audience

When the house grew quiet, my husband and I put on our shoes again. Only a few drops of rain fell as we walked. The paths here are like a map of possibilities: a village turning into open fields, cows chewing thoughtfully, small streams glittering. Woodpeckers and buzzards sailed above us, but none landed in my husband’s camera lens.

An hour later my hip began to protest, warning me that tonight and tomorrow I might feel it more than I’d like. Sometimes the body reminds me to listen.


Tips for perfect oven-baked salmon with a kick – rainy autumn day with hollandaise sauce

Toward evening I sank into the sofa again. I watched a film with just enough suspense to keep me hooked, even if it was a little more thrilling than I usually prefer.

And tonight, as Sunday settles like a soft blanket over the house, I’ll cook oven-baked salmon with hollandaise sauce. Just the thought makes me hungry.

Oven-baked salmon with a little heat

  1. Place a whole salmon fillet in an ovenproof dish. Season with salt, pepper, fresh dill and a pinch of chili.
  2. Bake at 175 °C (about 350 °F) for around 20 minutes, until the fish is just done and still juicy.

Temperature tip: Use a thermometer for perfect results. The ideal core temperature for oven-baked salmon is 52–56 °C (125–133 °F):

  • 52 °C – slightly rosy and very juicy.
  • 54–56 °C – fully cooked but still moist.
    Remove the fish at about 52 °C; the temperature will rise a few degrees as it rests.

Quick hollandaise sauce for a rainy autumn day

  1. Slowly melt 150 g (about 5 oz) butter.
  2. Whisk together 3 egg yolks, 2 tbsp water, 1 tbsp lemon juice and 1 tsp white wine vinegar over a hot water bath until thick.
  3. Add the butter in a thin stream while whisking. Taste with salt and more lemon if desired.

Shortcut: If you’re worried the sauce might split, put the egg yolks and seasoning in a food processor and let the melted butter drizzle in. Almost as luxurious, with less risk.


Questions for you, dear reader

  • What does your perfect rainy autumn day look like?
  • Do you have a favorite recipe for a cozy Sunday meal?
  • What motivates you to head out for a long walk, even when the rain is near?

Reflection

The rain offered calm, while the day filled with movement – in words, in steps, and in the scents of the kitchen. I see how these small moments carry an entire weekend and give it light.


Between the lines – my voice

I’m drawn to what truly nourishes me: writing, slow cooking, walking where nature opens wide. In these simple actions I find the real rhythm of my life.


AHA – between the lines

Simplicity is enough. A rainy autumn day can hold as much meaning as a long journey in our motorhome, if I only dare to stay inside it. In that quiet wisdom I feel fully alive.


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Read more

More recipes from my blog
Swedish National Food Agency’s advice on fish and seafood
More about Hollandaise sauce at ICA


Yesterday has already settled into history, tomorrow is waiting further ahead. But right now – this is where life happens. – Carina Ikonen Nilsson

A Flower, Ocean Laundry Detergent and Small Everyday Choices

Small steps that make a difference. A smile from a neighbor, Ocean laundry detergent in everyday life, or a solid shampoo bar instead of plastic bottles. Here I share how small choices in everyday life can matter – for the environment and for ourselves.

Read this post in Swedish En blomma, Ocean-tvättmedel och små miljöval i vardagen


Hello and welcome! How lovely that you’ve found your way to my blog today. I want to share a quiet morning, a flower that lit up my day, and my small steps toward a more sustainable lifestyle.


A Quiet Morning

It’s just after five. The cat has been let out, my coffee is beside me, and the only light in the room comes from the computer screen. I love this early morning moment when everyone else is still asleep. It gives me the chance to enjoy the silence, to be here on the blog, and to rest in my own thoughts.

Today I only have one planned meeting on the schedule. The rest of the day is open – and that feels good.

Orange cat resting on green grass, symbolizing a calm morning with Ocean laundry detergent in everyday life in mind.

My cat, always the first one out at dawn, starting the day with me.


A Flower That Lit Up the Day

Yesterday I went to the flower shop. My neighbor across the street had a birthday, and I wanted to surprise her with a small flower. When I knocked on her door and handed it over, her smile changed everything about my day.

It’s strange how small gestures can create big ripples. A flower, a smile – and suddenly the day feels brighter. We should all do more of those little things for each other. They give as much to the giver as to the receiver.

Red squirrel sitting on a branch among green leaves, capturing a surprise in everyday nature.

Nature around us always brings surprises – sometimes all it takes is to look up. Photo by my husband Tommy Nilsson.


Memories from the Swedish Fair

On the same trip, I stopped by our small local pet and nature shop in the village. They sell the laundry detergent my sister and I once discovered at the Swedish Household Fair many years ago.

Back then it was new – environmentally friendly from the start and especially good for people with allergies. As far as I know, the company is still based in Kungsbacka, and their products remain sustainable and safe. Perhaps a little more expensive, but so worth it.


Ocean Products – Eco-Friendly Laundry Detergent from Sweden

Ocean is a Swedish brand producing environmentally friendly products for laundry, cleaning, and hygiene. They are biodegradable, made in Sweden, and free from phosphates, zeolites, and animal testing. Many of their products are labeled Bra Miljöval (Good Environmental Choice) and Svanen (the Nordic Swan), and recommended by the Asthma and Allergy Association.

Read more about their products here: Ocean – About the Products

One example is Ocean Dubbeldryg, one of the most concentrated detergents in the world. It lasts for over 600 washes and reduces climate impact by up to 80% compared to regular detergents. For me, it feels good to know that something as ordinary as laundry can also be an active environmental choice.


Small Steps That Make a Difference

Those of you who have followed me for a while know that I often carry an environmental mindset with me. I may not contribute much in the bigger picture, but I do what I can.

A long time ago, I stopped buying disposable napkins and sewed our own cloth napkins to use at home. We walk – we don’t drive – regularly down to the recycling station in our village to drop off our waste. And this summer, we collected rainwater in barrels and buckets to water the greenhouse through a solar-powered drip system.

Ocean laundry detergent is part of that. It gives me a smile – not only because it’s good for the environment, but also because it reminds me of that day with my sister at the fair, when we tasted samples, discovered new products, and enjoyed ourselves.

Wild teasel plants growing in nature, reminding us that even the simple has its place in balance.

Even what looks wild and simple has its place in nature’s balance. Photo by Tommy Nilsson.


Solid Shampoo Bars Instead of Plastic Bottles

Another small step I’ve taken is using solid shampoo bars. At first, I bought them simply to avoid all the plastic bottles. But I’ve discovered that my hair actually feels cleaner when I wash it with these bars.

And I can promise you – there are truly fewer plastic bottles when you stop buying liquid shampoo. A shampoo bar lasts for several months, around 90 washes. My hair also stays clean longer, so I only wash it twice a week.

It’s not a huge thing, but it’s something. And it’s exactly in these small steps that I find a way to contribute – right here at home.


Reflection

It’s easy to underestimate small steps. But perhaps that’s exactly where we can begin – with a smile, a cloth napkin, or an eco-friendly laundry detergent. When we see the value in the small, we also feel part of something bigger.


Between the Lines – My Voice

Between the lines is my longing for simplicity. I want to live close to what feels genuine – nature, care, and the stillness of early mornings. For me, these small choices are a way to create meaning in daily life, both for myself and for the people around me.


AHA – Between the Lines

AHA! What seems small – a flower, an eco-friendly choice – can actually be big steps. Not only for the environment, but also for your own inner well-being.


Internal Link to the Oskar Series

Want to read more? Here’s yesterday’s post in the Oskar series:
The Oskar Series – Part 5: Circle Time and the Unwritten Rules


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Höstbild från Kungshamn.

Yesterday has already settled into history, tomorrow is waiting ahead. But right now – in my small choices for the environment and everyday life – this is where life happens. – Carina Ikonen Nilsson

Moon and the Eclipse 2025

Early this morning, the cat woke me up. The fever still lingered, but my thoughts drifted to the Moon and the Eclipse 2025, which yesterday cast its shadow across the sky. The cat reminded me of both his presence and his hunger. When I gave him food, he wrinkled his nose and made it clear he could find something better outside. I stayed inside, sipping my coffee slowly.

Read this post in Swedish. ->Månen och förmörkelsen 2025 – magi i vardagen


The Cat and the Early Morning

The cat knew exactly what he wanted. He got food, but it didn’t please him. He chose freedom instead, while I stayed behind with my coffee. In that moment, I thought about how life often works this way – we face everyday moments in our own way, but the universe keeps moving out there, entirely beyond our control.


Fever and Dreams

I am still sick. Yesterday I spent most of the day on the couch, watching movies and only getting up for food. The fever haunted the night with strange dreams. It felt like my body was burning while my mind struggled to understand.

Maybe it wasn’t just the fever. Perhaps it was also the moon, which was partially hidden in the eclipse. The Moon and the Eclipse 2025 brought with it both unease and something new.


Chasing the Moon and the Eclipse 2025

My husband, who loves photography, had waited all evening for the moon. When he realized it would soon be lost to the shadows, we decided to go out. At first, we saw nothing. The sky was quiet and dark. But just as we were almost home again, there it appeared – pale yet clear. We turned around so he could capture it properly.


The Moon and the Eclipse 2025 – When the Moon Became Magic

When I saw the Moon and the Eclipse 2025 last night, I felt something greater.
I sat in the car and watched the moon change from minute to minute. The light became a thin line, like a glowing tube across the sky. My husband photographed it, but for me, it was the moment itself that mattered.

It was more than a moon in shadow. Something happened inside me, a sense that the moment carried importance. I cannot explain it, only say that it stayed with me. They say that the Moon and the Eclipse 2025 can symbolize endings and transformation. Even today, sitting here with my coffee, the feeling remains – as if the moon left its mark on me.

Here is one of my husband’s photos from that night:

Partial lunar eclipse 2025 – the moon glowing red in the night sky
Partial lunar eclipse 2025 – the moon glowing red in the night sky

Facts and Magic Around the Moon and the Eclipse 2025

A lunar eclipse happens when Earth passes between the sun and the moon, and Earth’s shadow moves across the moon’s surface. Sometimes the moon turns blood red, sometimes it is only partly hidden. Yesterday’s event was a partial eclipse, where the light was only partly dimmed.

But for people in the past, it was more than astronomy. It was magic.

  • In some cultures, people banged pots and pans to scare away demons believed to be “eating” the moon.
  • In Norse mythology, the wolves Skoll and Hati chased the sun and the moon. When they caught them, an eclipse occurred.
  • In many traditions, an eclipse marked a time of ritual, closure, and new beginnings.

Perhaps that is why I felt what I felt. The moon still carries something larger, something that touches us deeply.

Read more about lunar eclipses at NASA


Reflection

Sometimes things happen that cannot be explained. A cat waking me. A fever that dreams on through the night. A moon covered in shadow but still glowing with light. For me, the Moon and the Eclipse 2025 became a moment that left its trace.

Maybe this is how life speaks to us – through the everyday and the cosmic, woven together.


Between the Lines – My Voice

This is not just a story about a cat, fever, and the moon. It is about my ability to still be moved. Despite illness, despite worry, something greater reached me. I want to carry that feeling with me – as a reminder that I am still open to magic.


AHA – Between the Lines

The moon last night showed me that light always exists, even when it almost disappears. Fever will fade, worry will pass. What remains is the ability to be touched, to let something greater than ourselves speak to the heart.


Questions for You

Do you remember the last time the moon truly moved you?
Have you ever seen an eclipse and felt that it affected you in a special way?
Do you believe we still carry traces of the old rituals and beliefs about the moon?


Related Posts

Oskar – Safe at Home, but the World Outside Was Hard
Reflections & Self-Healing – Collected Texts


Höstbild från Kungshamn.

Yesterday has already rested in history, tomorrow waits somewhere ahead. But right now – this is where life happens.

/Carina Ikonen Nilsson

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KonMari in Everyday Life – Closet Calm, Volbeat, and the Oskar Series

KonMari in everyday life can change more than expected. Sick days turned into tidier closets, my son’s humor brought Volbeat on vinyl, and the Oskar series moves forward with a story about school recess and the dream of a better school.

In Swedish KonMari i vardagen – garderobsro och Volbeat på vinyl


When Sick Days Turn Into Something Else

The little one has been sick for a few days, so we’ve mostly stayed indoors. Still, the days tend to blur together when you’re just hanging around. Every morning I write down my goals – a to-do list for the day – but often they remain untouched.

Eventually, though, something happens. Suddenly I had energy, and this time it went straight into the closet.


KonMari in Everyday Life and the Feeling of Order

That messy closet has been staring at me for ages. With the KonMari method in mind, I started folding, sorting, and creating some breathing space. Maybe not much ended up in the donation pile, but still, it felt different: airy, lighter, more structured.

Closet after KonMari in everyday life:

Not finished yet, but tank tops, t-shirts, and sweaters are folded with KonMari in everyday life. Next step: shirts ironed, folded, and more shelves for dresses to hang beside.

Here is more to read->order and everyday joy

Therefore, even doing the laundry down in the basement feels better now. And there in the basement stands my old stereo system, collecting dust. Even though it has been unused for years, I’ve held on to it. Maybe it’s finally time to let it go? After all, we have the new record player in the living room – simple, wireless through Bluetooth, and so much easier than all those cables.


My Son’s Humor and the Gentleman in the Sofa

A few days ago, my son came home with a vinyl. A double LP by Volbeat. He had a grin on his face and pretended nothing was going on. I was in the kitchen stirring pots when he suddenly called out:
Carina, you’ve got a gentleman visitor on the sofa.

I looked confused. “No, I don’t,” I replied. But he insisted. When I walked into the living room, there they were: two records, neatly placed in my spot on the sofa. A rather quiet company – but then, once we put one of them on, the room filled with life, energy, and a wonderful noise.

Volbeat vinyl Seal the Deal & Let’s Boogie – my son’s humor turned the record into a “gentleman visitor” in the sofa.
My son’s gift – Volbeat on vinyl, humorously introduced as “gentleman visitors” in the sofa.

I must admit, Volbeat hadn’t been something I listened to actively before. At least not until now. But since these records moved in, they’ve spun many times. My son’s humor in how he presented them made it even more fun. To receive “gentleman visitors” in the form of vinyls – that’s top-notch humor in my book.

Record player and vinyl wall
Our music wall at home – Volbeat on the turntable and other vinyl favorites in the room.

Oskar Series and Next Week’s Post

Today, I don’t have many big plans except to keep working on the next part of the Oskar series. This time it’s about school recess – those moments that should have been free and fun, but instead often became a struggle.

Pencil drawing of a withdrawn child – symbol of silence and the need for safety, linked to the Oskar series.
One of my own pencil drawings – for me it symbolizes how a child may withdraw when the world becomes too much. In the Oskar series, I want to show that behind every silence there is a story we need to listen to.

When I read through what I had written, tears came to my eyes. Maybe it says more about me than the text itself, but still, I believe it will touch hearts. I want to show both the difficulties and a kind of utopia: imagine if recess could become a place where adults joined in, where play was something everyone was invited into, and where children could feel seen and safe.

That’s why I feel this next post is one of the most important I’ve written in the series so far.

Read the Oskar serie here


To You, the Reader

Do you usually make lists for your days? Do you stick to them – or do they end up like mine, lying around?

What do you fill your days with when you’re not working?
Here, I fill mine with blogging, supporting young people, keeping the home in order, and cooking. And sometimes, I even find space to enjoy life, take care of myself, and feel good.


Reflection

The strange thing is how sick days can turn into days of change. Sometimes all it takes is a folded shirt, a tidied drawer, or a vinyl that surprises you – and suddenly, life feels lighter to live.

AHA – Between the Lines

Creating order in the closet is not just practical. It also becomes a symbol of making space in life – for new records, new laughter, and new stories.


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Carina Ikonen Nilsson

Yesterday has already gone to rest in history, tomorrow waits somewhere ahead. But right now – this is where life happens. – Carina Ikonen Nilsson

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