The morning is still dark as the smell of coffee fills the living room. At first, I felt the words had dried up, but as the candles flicker, thoughts begin to move again. In this post I share a quiet autumn morning, the final garden chores, and reflections on how feelings and thoughts sometimes play tricks on us.
It is still dark outside, the clock barely past dawn. Coffee steams in my cup while one lamp and two small candles light the room. I’ve been up for a while, but only now opened my laptop. It feels as if the words have run out, as if I am writing the last lines here for a while. Autumn has sighed its first breath, and I imagine its yellow leaves drifting even onto this blog.
But maybe that’s only a feeling. As if time has paused and the air itself stands still.
Thoughts Moving at a Slow Pace
The days go by. I do ordinary things. The ambitions I had before autumn quietly slid into a slower rhythm of not-doing. I feel stuck at home. Morning swims have paused, evening walks happen only on nights when I have the strength to join my husband – and not even every time. Perhaps illness is slowing me down, or maybe it’s simply time for rest.
The Greenhouse and the Garden’s Rest
Today promises sunshine, and I plan to tidy the greenhouse. I’ll pick the last ripe tomatoes, cut down the plants and spread the soil from the pots onto my garden beds as preparation for next year. Pots will be washed, the rain barrel emptied, and the greenhouse allowed to rest through winter.
young cucumbers sprouting in the greenhouse
I wonder if I am starting too soon. When do seasoned gardeners do this? Still, I want it done now, to avoid standing in January realizing something was left undone.
Tips: Autumn Tasks for Your Garden
As autumn settles in, a few small steps help your garden thrive next year:
Harvest the last crops – tomatoes, beans, apples, and root vegetables.
Cut back and clean – remove old plants and weeds so the soil can rest.
Cover with leaves or compost – to nourish and protect the soil.
Plant garlic and spring bulbs – garlic planted in September or October will reward you next summer.
Protect sensitive plants – cover roses, dahlias and others with leaves or spruce branches.
Empty rain barrels – so they don’t freeze and crack.
This summer brought the quiet joy of growing things. Tomatoes tasted of pure summer, cucumbers were a delight to pick, and lettuce grew in abundance – maybe too much. Next year I’ll plan better and start seedlings at the right time. Soon I’ll plant garlic and pre-sprout onions. Our potatoes weren’t many, but they were delicious.
We also planted two apple trees: Ingrid Marie for its wonderful flavor, and Astrakan, which carries memories from the film The Emigrants. I hope both trees survive the winter.
Thoughts and Feelings That Play Tricks
Quite a lot of words for someone who just felt empty of them. Maybe it was only one of those fleeting feelings that sneak in when darkness still rests outside the window. Thoughts can be tricky. They whisper that everything has stopped and that the air stands still. But it isn’t always true.
Often they are just shadows of worry or tiredness, echoes of a restless night. Sometimes they play pranks, mixing up a quiet pause with an ending. Perhaps the real strength lies in seeing that not every thought has to become a truth. In that space—where you breathe and let the thought pass—new words, new steps and new days can quietly begin.
Reflection
This morning reminds me that stillness is not an end. Even a slow start can hold seeds of something new. Maybe it is in the pause that the next chapter quietly forms.
Between the Lines – My Voice
Beneath the words lives a longing for balance. A rest that is not escape but preparation. A reminder that nature knows when it’s time to gather strength.
AHA – Between the Lines
Perhaps this is really a story about more than greenhouses and autumn. When I thought my words had gone silent, they were still breathing inside me like a quiet rhythm. It’s as if nature and writing remind me that everything can move at its own pace. Pauses are not endings; they too are part of creation.
This post was meant to be about gratitude, but the words took a detour through ADHD, blog categories, and a quiet sunrise. Sometimes, all you can do is follow where the words want to go.
Sunrise and Sleeplessness
This morning, I witnessed a sunrise. Sure, I often wake up early – but today it was very early. I don’t sleep well here in the camper, and I miss my bed at home. Writing that makes me feel ungrateful. Not everyone has a camper to sleep badly in. I try to remind myself to be thankful – for the freedom, the quiet, and the fact that we can go wherever we want, whenever we want.
Next Trip Already Planned
Yesterday, my husband started planning our next little trip. It’s already happening this Thursday – a visit to Borås Zoo with Alfred, his mom, and her partner. They’ll go for the day, but we’ll bring the camper and maybe stay longer. I think he’s planning something bigger, but first stop: Borås.
Structure, Blogging and ADHD – A Tangle Searching for Order
Yesterday I sat here, tinkering with my blog. Trying to organize it. I’ve started adding categories to make it easier to navigate. Old posts from 2009 to 2013 are now in their own group – like a little time capsule. Some posts are treasures, others… well. But I won’t delete them. I’m trying to see them with kind eyes – and I hope you will too.
Structuring a blog when you have ADHD isn’t exactly smooth sailing. For me, it’s like trying to clean a room while someone keeps moving the furniture around in my head. ADHD affects focus, impulse control, time management, and staying power. Starting is easy – finishing, not so much. And the “red thread”? More like a yarn tangle.
Still – this blog has shown my persistence. I’ve written for so many years, about so many things. Maybe my ADHD shows up here too: I follow impulses, the words come fast, I jump between topics. But I keep going. That is a kind of structure. Maybe not the traditional kind, but mine. With AI’s help, I can now make more sense of it – even if it still means hours of staring confusedly at the screen.
ADHD in Everyday Life: ADHD affects executive function – planning, impulse control, emotional regulation – but it also brings creativity, intense focus (sometimes), and rich emotional depth. For many, including me, it’s not just a diagnosis. It’s a way of being in the world.
Heading Home – and Longing for Coffee
Today, we’re heading back home. Time to pack up, unpack the camper, do laundry, and check in on the greenhouse and my little garden. I’m looking forward to sitting under the pavilion and writing there instead of under our camper’s awning.
And the coffee. Oh, how I miss my coffee machine. Out here, it’s just regular drip coffee – even if I grind the beans myself. It’s not the same. Sure, I can froth the milk even in the camper – but who has the energy for that first thing in the morning? It’s a plain cup with a bit of milk. Nothing like the real deal at home.
Callouts – let me ask you…
Do you struggle with creating structure in your everyday life – especially with ADHD? What does gratitude mean to you, especially on days when everything feels off? Have you ever read your old writing with kind eyes?
Reflection
Sometimes it’s all a bit much. Gratitude that rubs against exhaustion. Longing for my bed and my coffee machine. But also – a sunrise I would have missed if I’d been sleeping deeply. It hits me that life doesn’t have to be either-or. Maybe it gets to be both. Maybe, somewhere in the middle of all the mess, that’s where I’m most myself.
Yesterday already rests in the pages of history. Tomorrow waits somewhere down the road. But right now – this is where life happens. – Carina Ikonen Nilsson
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