morning swim-arkiv

An early morning dip filled with gratitude. Here I tell about the battle between two voices – the one who wants and the one who doesn’t – and how the will finally won. A moment of nature, courage and quiet joy.

Read this post in Swedish ->Ett morgondopp i tacksamhet- När viljan vinner

->Read also Ett bad i blåst och regn – this older post is only in Swedish.

Welcome sign at Ragnerud bathing place on a rain-soaked morning – the place of my grateful swim.

Two Voices Inside Me

Today it finally happened again, even though it began with nagging from the one who wants and the one who doesn’t.
The one who doesn’t want has won for too long and taken ground inside my body. She is strong and doesn’t give up easily, and has been winning ground for a very long time, far too long.

But today she had to give in. Already at six o’clock this morning the other one – the one who wants – began to open up to the possibility of really doing it. Her voice fell silent only to rest and try again. This time she didn’t give up. She found possibilities and wove them into every word she spoke to me and to the one inside who doesn’t want.

Now she had the strength; her voice was clear, no longer whispers but firm pointers: now you do it.
“But the swimwear is in the motorhome,” I said to myself.
“That hasn’t stopped you before,” she replied.
“But it’s cold,” said the one inside. “You freeze all the time these days.”
The one with the will answered: “That hasn’t stopped you before.”

The two of them went back and forth all morning. I sat with my laptop in my lap and listened to those two.

The Decision and the Journey

At the very last minute I decided to listen to the right voice and the right will.
I listened to the voice that wanted and made sure to act. Out to the motorhome, find the swim bag, back inside to brush my teeth and grab the car keys, then into the car to actually do what was needed – drive ten kilometers, and I’m there, in paradise on earth.

But today didn’t turn out as planned, because when I arrived at the bathing place my swim-sisters had already finished. Today they had decided to bathe at 8 o’clock and I thought it was at half past eight. But that didn’t stop me.

A Morning Swim of Gratitude

They drove off and I took off all my clothes, which were really only a bathrobe and underwear. On with the water shoes and down into the lake. I had promised myself to just dip in. If it was cold it would be enough to lower my body into the water and then get out.

But if you knew how wonderful that dip was – not cold at all, only pleasant. Simply as wonderful as it gets. My body and the memory within it were completely present there in the water. I smiled and floated for a while.

I know that neither my husband nor my swim-sisters think it is okay to swim completely alone. That meant the swim became a shorter one. Yet every second there in the water, in nature, with my naked body floating in the lake, held a value worth remembering. Me, the water, and the sky.

Wonderful is a pale word for the moment. No word comes close to how I experienced this swim. Waves, wind and rain – and yet something beautiful unfolded inside me.

The silent beach after my swim – the water, the sky and the red building as my only company.

A Morning Swim of Gratitude – The Victory of Gratitude

It became something to remember as a moment of taking care of myself in the best possible way. As I write these words, I am filled with deep gratitude that I let the one who wants win the first battle of the day.

She won, she triumphed, but I – with all my selves – won the greatest prize. Finally, a swim again. I am now swimming in gratitude that fills my body. Thanks for all the beauty that was with me this morning.

It is almost as if those two wills also carry gratitude within them. And the greatest gratitude is that I listened to her – the one who wants. Even though it felt reluctant and a bit uncomfortable, she won. I acted – and within that action lives gratitude.
-> Would you like to explore more about how swimming can ease pain in the body? Visit Swan Song and Body Work. – this older post is only in Swedish.

AHA – Between the Lines

This post is about more than a swim. It is a victory for the courage to choose what you know is good, despite resistance. A story of how small, decisive steps can fill the body with strength and quiet joy.

I chose the will and met gratitude. Yesterday already rests in history; we can do nothing about it. What happens tomorrow belongs to tomorrow. It is right now, in this very moment, that I sow what I may harvest later. Right now – this is where life happens.
— Carina Ikonen Nilsson