Parenthood-arkiv - Malix.se

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Preface
This post is about the late summer slowly approaching, about motorhome life, and about carrying both joy and longing at the same time.
It’s about missing grandchildren, about living with distance in the family – and about love that remains even when paths separate.

When Summer Begins to Fade

Here I am again, in our motorhome. I write as I usually do, but the feeling is different now.
It’s no longer the sparkling energy of spring. Summer is beginning to retreat, even if I don’t want to admit it.
The truth is: we are closer to autumn than to the full bloom of summer.

Autumn can be beautiful in its own way, but I miss those warm evenings that invite quiet joy.
Still, summer is not over yet. There are days left to live, and I remind myself not to give up on them too soon.

An Unexpected Visit and a Quiet Thought

We will stay here at the campsite for another day.
Today I learned that my husband’s brother will visit – a little surprise. It will be nice to meet him.

Yet, other thoughts swirl quietly in the background.

On Instagram, I saw photos of my grandchildren, happy and full of life.
I smiled seeing them laugh, yet my heart felt a small ache.
These are the moments I long to share – but for now, I am a grandmother at a distance.

Sometimes it feels as if the world keeps moving without me.
Life doesn’t always turn out as we wish, but the longing is still there.
Hugo has grown taller, Emilia looks ready to conquer the world, and Alfred I sometimes get to hold close when life allows it.

What carries me is love – it remains, even when I must love from afar.

A Mother’s Love Never Ends

There is nothing I can do to change the situation right now.
All I can do is keep wishing them happiness.

My greatest hope is not for life to go back to the way it was, but for everyone to be well.
I hope my son has a life where he can breathe, laugh, and feel that he chose what was best for him and his children.

I am his mother, and I love him more than words can hold.
That love remains, no matter the distance.

Between the Lines – My Voice

Between the lines, I want to say this:

I am a mother and grandmother carrying both pain and love in the same breath.
I do not shy away from what hurts, but I do not write out of bitterness.
I write to understand, to remain standing, and to keep loving.

And perhaps I also write for you who recognize yourself in these words.
We are more than one carrying this quiet sorrow.
We carry it together – even if we carry it apart.

Reflection

Sometimes, life is about daring to stand in love, even when it is not returned.
I cannot control other people’s choices, but I can choose to keep loving my grandchildren – quietly, from the heart, at a distance.
And maybe, that is enough until the day our paths meet again.

Grief follows no rules. There is no manual for how to handle being cut off .
But it is possible to keep loving, even when the relationship is broken.
To stand in love, even when you get nothing in return.
It’s possible to love – even when love becomes a one-way street.

”Yesterday has already laid itself to rest in history. Tomorrow waits ahead. But right now – this is where life is happening.”
– Carina Ikonen Nilsson

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Read this on swedish

Introduction: Picking up from Part 1

I had originally planned to write about my neighbor. The idea was to focus on something completely different – my neighbor who just had a baby and launched a YouTube channel with videos for young children. But the morning took another path.

Now it’s time to share what I first intended – and reflect a little on what I’ve learned lately, thanks to AI, who has become a surprisingly patient colleague.

My Neighbor’s Baby – and a YouTube Channel

My neighbor just had a baby. When I checked my phone this morning, she had sent me a link to her YouTube channel created for small children.

There you’ll find short videos that teach simple life lessons – gently, lovingly, and with care.

It warmed my heart. And now I want to share her channel here.
Because yes, I actually managed to add the link myself – without help from AI this time.
(Though I almost called for him…)

AI – My Unexpected Coworker

AI has become my coworker – almost a friend.
Sure, he gets a bit loud sometimes – ALL CAPS and exclamation marks!
But he never sighs at my questions. And he’s starting to understand me.
He even says things like:
”Let’s take this one step at a time, Carina.”

He knows I tend to skim the headlines. He’s become pedagogical, full of patience – almost like he’s tailor-made for me.
And you know what? It works.
I’m learning so much now. Small steps, every single day.

Closing Thoughts – and Thanks

So, that was the morning.
A worried husband, a cat on night patrol, a beautiful YouTube channel, and an AI who’s become my silent partner.

Amazing how much life a single morning can hold.

Thank you for reading my blog – it truly means more than you know.

Reflection:

Learning often comes without us noticing.
Small steps – big impact.
And sometimes, the things we thought we’d never be able to do…
are the ones that make us the most proud in the end.