The Oskar Series – Meeting Children with Neurodevelopmental Differences in School In the Oskar Series, you’ll step into school life through the eyes of a child with NDDs – autism and ADHD. These posts blend reflections, real-life examples and thoughts on how we can create schools where every child is allowed to thrive, rather than being forced into a mold.
Welcome to the Oskar Series. Here, you will meet Oskar – a boy whose everyday school life reveals both the strengths and the challenges that can come with neurodevelopmental differences such as autism and ADHD.
This series blends personal reflections, concrete examples, and thoughts on how we can create school environments where every child has the chance to thrive.
One of my own pencil drawings is included here. To me, it symbolizes how a child might sometimes withdraw when the world becomes too overwhelming. In the Oskar Series, I want to show that behind every silence, there is a story we need to hear – and take seriously.
En av mina egna blyertsteckningar – för mig symboliserar den hur ett barn kan dra sig undan när världen blir för mycket. I Oskar-serien vill jag visa att bakom varje tystnad finns en berättelse vi behöver lyssna på
Bring a warm cup of your favourite drink and keep me company over the next few days as I write about the topic of autism. Let’s move forward – with understanding, curiosity, and respect for all the children and young people who don’t quite fit into the mould that society so often tries to press them into. Their value and unique way of being don’t disappear because they don’t fit a ready-made form – in fact, that’s exactly where their strength lies.
Why the Oskar Series?
Children like Oskar often carry remarkable strengths – attention to detail, honesty, perseverance, deep special interests, and a unique ability to think outside the box. At the same time, there are also challenges, and it is important to understand them:
Sensory Sensitivity
Sounds, lights, smells, and touch can all become overwhelming. It can even come down to the difference between spaghetti and macaroni. You might not see that difference, but someone with autism knows exactly.
It can be about shape, texture, how it feels in the mouth, or even how it behaves when you chew.
Selective eating is also common and can vary, but it often means sticking to a small number of foods that feel safe and work from a sensory perspective. This isn’t about being picky – certain tastes, textures, or temperatures can actually feel unpleasant, sometimes even unbearable.
Social Interaction
It can be harder to interpret body language, small talk, and all those unwritten rules most people take for granted. For someone with autism, every situation is new. Yesterday is not the same as today – even if it might seem that way to you.
What worked yesterday might feel completely unfamiliar today, depending on how the day began, how much energy they have, and how many sensory impressions have already filled their mind.
Humor can also be a challenge. When a classmate makes a joke, the child with autism might not automatically laugh. Understanding jokes and irony is often something that needs to be learned – like a language within a language.
And when the child tells a funny story themselves, it might sometimes be borrowed from a comedian, where the audience laughed loudly. That’s how the child learned that here, at this pause, is when you’re “supposed” to laugh.
This isn’t about a lack of humor – it’s about the fact that humor, like body language and social codes, doesn’t always come naturally. It often needs to be built step by step, just like learning to read or ride a bike.
Need for Routines
Changes can create worry or stress. Routines act as small anchors of safety in everyday life, helping to bring order to a world that can otherwise feel unpredictable.
If you’ve said there are five math problems to solve before break, then it’s exactly five math problems – no more, no less. Once they’re done, it’s break time, full stop. The fact that there are still five minutes left in the lesson doesn’t matter. In the child’s mind, the rule is clear and doesn’t change.
Or take another example: if teeth are always brushed after breakfast, but today there’s no time for breakfast – then brushing teeth might feel completely wrong. In the child’s logic, the two actions belong together. No breakfast = no toothbrushing.
To others, this might seem unimportant, but for the child it’s a break in the order that provides safety. It’s not stubbornness for the sake of being stubborn – it’s a way of keeping the world understandable and manageable.
Varying Day-to-Day Energy
Energy levels can shift from day to day, and sometimes even from hour to hour. What drains that energy can be completely different – and I want to write this in big letters because it matters: DIFFERENT for everyone.
One thing that’s fairly common, though, is that children with autism may have difficulty sleeping. And perhaps that’s the only similarity in this section – because otherwise, everything is highly individual.
Energy can drain away like sand through an hourglass, sometimes after what you might think is just a small effort. It might be enough just to get up and get dressed – and then the energy is already gone.
For the child, it’s not just a matter of “getting going again.” It’s as if the battery is already drained and needs recharging, sometimes for a long time.
Misunderstandings
Adults can sometimes judge the child based on a “template” instead of meeting them for who they truly are.
By “template,” I mean the expectations and mental images we carry about how a child “should” function, develop, and react – based on our experiences with other children. That invisible frame we compare to, often without even realising it.
We humans gather experiences and use them to interpret the next situation. Sometimes this is helpful – but with children who have autism, it can be completely wrong. The template doesn’t take into account that every child is unique, with their own mix of strengths, challenges, interests, and needs.
I remember sitting in a school meeting once. The teacher said: “We’ve had many students with autism in this school who have done well. It’s just your child who…”
The sentence stopped there – but I heard the rest anyway. The words already spoken told the whole story.
That’s the template right there – looking at my child through the lens of other people’s achievements instead of asking: What does your child need to feel good and succeed here?
Differences from ADHD
Energy levels and the need for variation can look completely different, even though some challenges overlap.
A person with autism will often appreciate – and sometimes need – clear step-by-step instructions: 1, 2, 3 – and will follow them to the letter. This can be a strength, offering structure and a sense of safety.
A person with ADHD, on the other hand, might be satisfied with just hearing the summary or the “headline,” getting the idea of the task, and then rushing off to do it – often with more spontaneity, but also with a greater risk of missing details along the way.
We’ve seen this difference many times at home. In the past, when we bought furniture from IKEA, we’d simply unpack it and start assembling – going mostly by feel. Sometimes we’d have to start over.
Now we do it differently. We hand the instructions to our son. He genuinely loves them – not a single point is missed, not a single step skipped. It’s almost as if he and the manual speak the same language.
The same goes for my kitchen machines and anything else with a manual. When he reads and explains the instructions to me, I get it right straight away.
This difference isn’t about one way being better than the other – it’s about how the brain works differently. Someone who follows instructions carefully can deliver precision and accuracy. Someone who jumps straight in can bring creativity and quick problem-solving.
But it’s important to understand these differences in order to give the right support and set the right expectations.
Why the Oskar Series Exists
To show that we can meet children in ways other than trying to shape them so that they fit into a pre-made mould.
The Series in Order
Part 1: Autism – Understanding and Strengths
Part 2: Does Oskar Really Have to Learn to Tie His Shoes?
Part 3: Motivating Circumstances and Invisible Support
Between the Lines
This is more than the story of a child. It’s a mirror showing how we adults create environments where some children can thrive while others are forced to struggle to fit in.
The Oskar Series is a reminder that every time we choose to see the child in front of us – instead of our image of what a child “should” be – we open a door. Not just for them, but for ourselves.
Reflection
Every child carries something unique. As adults, we can choose to see it, understand it, and give it room to grow. But we must also resist the temptation to press it into a form where it risks withering.
Yesterday has settled into history, tomorrow waits further ahead. Right now – this is where life happens. – Carina Ikonen Nilsson
My name is Carina, and I have, for many years, had the privilege of getting to know children and young people who may not always have fitted into the moulds of school or society.
In my work – and in life – I have seen how important it is to listen, to understand, and sometimes just to sit beside them without trying to fix everything.
I write the Oskar Series to share what I have seen, felt, and learned. To remind us that behind every glance, every silence, and every outburst, there is a story. And because I believe that we all, if we dare to see, can be that safe point that makes a difference.
FAQ – English (Oskar Series Part 1)
What is the Oskar Series? The Oskar Series is a collection of stories and reflections about children with NDDs such as autism and ADHD. It highlights both strengths and challenges – and explores how we can create schools where every child can thrive.
What strengths do children with autism often have? Many children with autism show unique strengths such as attention to detail, honesty, perseverance, deep interests, and a way of thinking outside the box that often leads to creative solutions.
What challenges can children with autism face in school? They may struggle with sensory sensitivity (sounds, lights, food), social interaction, need for routines, varying daily energy levels, and misunderstandings from adults.
How is autism different from ADHD? Children with autism often prefer clear step-by-step instructions and follow them precisely. Children with ADHD, however, may jump into tasks more spontaneously but risk missing details. Both ways have strengths – but they require different kinds of support.
Why do you write about Oskar? To show that children should not be forced into a ready-made mold. By meeting each child as an individual, we can open doors to growth, confidence and belonging.
Support my writing: If you enjoy my work and would like to support what I do, you can contribute via PayPal here: Support via PayPa
Preface Some days stay with you, like pearls on a string. This is one of them. A day that began with rain and grey skies, and ended in deep reflections, play in the waves, and a troubadour singing for a scattered crowd. Here’s my story from our last day before heading home – written just as it happened.
From rain to sunshine – the day took a turn
Yesterday began with clouds, rain, and wind. However, by late morning, the sun broke through, bringing back the warmth. Despite the gloomy start, we had breakfast outside. Somehow, food always tastes better outdoors – even the driest toast becomes delicious. That’s how it is, at least in my world.
Even before the sun appeared, my husband and I took a walk down to the lake – just to see it.
Photos, swims and dancing waves
My husband had bought a new camera lens, which sparked his creativity. I’ll try to include some of his photos here – let’s see how that goes.
Once the sun came out, we couldn’t resist the water. I lost count of how many times I swam – but it was a lot. One of the swims was from a rocky outcrop with a ladder into the lake. The wind had stirred up fairly large waves, and it took effort to descend without being tossed against the rocks. Still, what a swim it was! The movement felt like a full-body workout. Surprisingly, Lake Vänern was warm.
Sitting on the ground – and getting back up again
In the afternoon, our daughter arrived with little Alfred and her partner. My husband took charge of the grill, and as usual during camping trips, the food tasted amazing. Since we only have three chairs, my daughter and I made do by sitting on the ground.
Now, being 60 years old with a stiff hip and aching back, getting up again wasn’t my most elegant moment. It probably looked quite amusing. Yet with a bit of help from my daughter, I managed just fine.
Playing in the waves – childlike joy
Later, when the others went grocery shopping, Alfred stayed with us. So he and I went down to the lake again – this time under heavy clouds and even bigger waves. We swam and played in the water for over an hour. Bathing with children changes everything – it’s not just about swimming; it’s about adventure. Together, we chased waves and explored the shoreline. By the time we got out, my fingers had turned purple-blue with cold – but I was still smiling.
Bruno the dog, dishwashers and the best eggs ever
After they left, my husband and I went to do the dishes. This campsite has one of those super-fast dishwashers – two minutes and you’re done. What a luxury!
Earlier that morning, we had seen Afghan families having breakfast by the sinks. One woman was cooking a traditional egg dish called Tokhm-e-tomato – eggs fried with onion, tomato sauce, and Middle Eastern spices. It smelled absolutely wonderful. I tapped her gently on the shoulder and told her – this is one of the tastiest things I’ve ever eaten.
Later on, we met a man from another Middle Eastern country who told us he had owned a restaurant and used the exact same kind of dishwasher. I mentioned that my husband and I had looked into buying one ourselves, though it’s a bit bulky and expensive for a regular home. Still – imagine getting your kitchen cleaned in just two minutes!
Respect in the small moments – when hearts want to speak
I stood a few steps behind her. The scent of the food lingered in the air while she focused silently over the frying pan. I wanted to say so much. Over the years, I’ve worked with many boys from her part of the world – boys who arrived in Sweden alone. And I always carried the image of a mother far away – perhaps someone like her – cooking, worrying, hoping.
In my work, I tried to offer those boys what I believed she would have wanted for them: dignity, safety, care, and deep respect.
I wanted to thank her – not just her, but all the women I’ve never met yet still carry in my heart. I wanted to say: I saw your sons. I listened. I tried to be worthy of your trust.
But I stayed quiet. I hesitated, unsure if we would understand each other. Maybe that was a mistake. Sometimes, it doesn’t take perfect words. A smile. A hand on the shoulder. A simple presence. That’s often enough.
People talk about culture clashes. But not here. Not on this campsite. Here, we shared meals, stories, swims, and dishwashing tips. Here, we were just people.
If only we could take that simplicity with us – into society, into our politics, into our everyday encounters. What if we led with curiosity instead of fear, and respect instead of suspicion?
Evening music and a soft goodbye
That evening, there was live music at the bar. Not many people showed up – perhaps because of the weather. A troubadour gave it his all, trying to capture the audience. He was good – had a nice voice and plenty of witty remarks between songs. But most of us were busy socializing.
Still, I appreciated his effort. It added something to our last night here.
This post turned out a bit different. But these are my words, from our final day at the lake. Tomorrow, we pack up and drive home – to celebrate my mother-in-law who turns 81 today. She’s one of the kindest souls I know.
Then it’s back to work for my husband for a week – and after that, two more weeks of spontaneous camper freedom. We don’t know where we’re going yet. And that’s exactly the beauty of it – the freedom to just go.
What do you think?
Have you ever sat on the ground at 60 – and needed a hand getting up?
Have you experienced warm encounters across cultural boundaries?
What’s your most memorable camping moment?
Reflection
Sometimes, the most powerful bridges are built quietly – with a glance, a plate of food, a shared laugh. That’s where humanity lives.
“Live today – right now. Yesterday rests in history, and tomorrow waits out there in the distance. What matters is now.” – Carina Ikonen Nilsson
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