Morning again, and with my coffee beside me come thoughts of the Oskar Series understanding – how we meet, learn, and grow as adults. The two lamps that once belonged to my grandmother cast a warm light in the darkness. The cat is outside, the house still asleep, and the morning is calm.
Today I will wrap the Christmas gifts my daughter and I bought in Ullared – a day filled with laughter, bargains, and reflection. At the same time, my thoughts wander to the Oskar Series understanding and adult responsibility – how we, as adults, can meet children with empathy and help them grow in their abilities.
This post is a personal reflection, inspired by experiences and thoughts about adult responsibility and the way we meet others. It is not about a specific event, but about the inner process that awakens when we want to protect – and then realize how important it is to meet with calm and understanding.
A Day in Ullared
The trip to Ullared became more than just shopping. We found shoes, clothes, boots, and gifts – almost everything ready for December. I even made a real find: a pair of Sketchers boots that usually cost around 1,500 SEK, but there – only 800. They were so comfortable that it was impossible not to buy them.
My little boy got new pajamas, clothes, and a cap that made him happy. My little girl received a few small Christmas gifts and a pair of cool boots. It was a long day – we left home at seven in the morning and didn’t return until nine in the evening. But now almost all the gifts are wrapped, and the feeling of being prepared brings a quiet peace.
Have you ever felt that mix of exhaustion and gratitude after a long, good day?
When the Tiger in Me Awoke – a Thought on the Oskar Series and Adult Responsibility
In the middle of everyday joy, something unexpected happened. An email, not particularly kind, awakened something inside me – the tiger. Suddenly, all the children I’ve ever met stood before me. Not only my own, but also the young people I’ve had the privilege to work with over the years.
It was about understanding and adult responsibility. About how adults sometimes put the blame on children – as if they alone carried the weight of what went wrong. I felt my whole being rise up. For me, it’s clear that when we work with children, we adults always carry the greatest responsibility. We are the ones who must see, listen, and understand.
Children don’t misbehave out of malice. They act in the only way they can – based on their experiences, their capacities, and the safety or uncertainty that adults have created around them. Do you recognize that feeling, when your concern for a child wakes the lion within you?
Afterward – Oskar Series, Understanding, and Adult Responsibility
In hindsight, I regret my own behavior. I let the tiger take over and, for a moment, forgot my responsibility as an adult. I should have stood firmer in myself and spoken about what really matters – the adult responsibility. To create conditions for children to grow in their ability, not to remind them of what they cannot yet do.
In reflection, I see how I would rather have met the situation with a calm, soft voice. I wish I had said:
“I want us to find solutions. How can we, together, help, see, and allow the child to grow? What can I do to make things easier? What is my responsibility?”
I wish I had offered to come, to explain what works and what doesn’t. I wish I had said:
“We’re doing this together. I am in my role and you in yours – is there something we can do to make the path easier?”
Being an adult means carrying the ultimate responsibility: to meet children with respect, patience, and belief in their potential.
At the same time, I believe reflection is something we all need – even the other adult in that situation. Sometimes we are so busy defending our own perspective that we forget to pause, breathe, and see the child together. I should have invited the other person into the dance of reflection – that quiet movement where curiosity replaces defense. But I didn’t. Perhaps it’s because I haven’t yet learned to dance, and that’s exactly what I need to practice.
When I read that email, I suddenly saw all the children I’ve met – those who struggled, those who carried heavy things. I could almost feel them standing behind me, whispering: Don’t forget us. Keep speaking for us. That’s what the Oskar Series, understanding, and adult responsibility is really about – seeing the child behind each reaction and realizing that we all have something to learn.
Oskar Knocks Again! Oskar Series, Understanding, and Adult Responsibility in Everyday Life
All these words – they’re really about little Oskar. You know, Oskar from the NPF & School series, now resting for a while. Maybe it’s him knocking again? Perhaps it’s time to continue writing – about how important it is that we adults take our responsibility, dare to see the child behind the behavior, and stay present in the meeting.
How often do your own “Oskar moments” knock at the door? Those moments when your heart says: See the child behind the words.
Sometimes our strongest reactions don’t come from anger but from love – from the wish to protect. Yet the way back to calm reminds me of something even more important: even adults, just like in the Oskar Series, understanding, and adult responsibility, must keep practicing how to grow.
Between the Lines
When calm returns and the tiger within me rests, I see that it’s not about winning a war, but about understanding why we react as we do – and what that reveals about what we care to protect. It also reminds me that my own reaction must remain calm. For all the children who once stood before me, hoping I would keep fighting for them – I need that calm. Because it’s in calmness that the real work can be done, it’s there that change begins.
Reflection
Now the coffee stands beside me again. The soft glow from my grandmother’s lamps fills the room. The day lies untouched before me, with wrapping paper and ribbons waiting. Outside, the sky begins to brighten.
Maybe it’s Oskar whispering: See me, understand me – I’m just trying to make it through another day. And I whisper back: I’ll keep practicing being the adult – the one who helps you grow. That’s part of the Oskar Series, understanding, and adult responsibility – a daily exercise in seeing, understanding, and growing together.
What This Taught Me
This meeting – between emotion and responsibility – became a reminder that calm isn’t always there from the start, but it can always be found again. I learned that adults, too, need to keep practicing how to grow, to face their own reactions, and to choose presence instead of defense. Perhaps it’s right there, in the stillness after the storm, that real learning happens – for both the children and for us adults.
Live today, right now. The day before yesterday was the tiger, yesterday the reflection, today the action, and tomorrow will be the rest. Maybe I’ve already learned something – perhaps even right now.
This text is a personal reflection, not a description of any specific person, place, or situation. Its purpose is to inspire understanding and shared responsibility in how we meet children.
KonMari in everyday life can change more than expected. Sick days turned into tidier closets, my son’s humor brought Volbeat on vinyl, and the Oskar series moves forward with a story about school recess and the dream of a better school.
The little one has been sick for a few days, so we’ve mostly stayed indoors. Still, the days tend to blur together when you’re just hanging around. Every morning I write down my goals – a to-do list for the day – but often they remain untouched.
Eventually, though, something happens. Suddenly I had energy, and this time it went straight into the closet.
KonMari in Everyday Life and the Feeling of Order
That messy closet has been staring at me for ages. With the KonMari method in mind, I started folding, sorting, and creating some breathing space. Maybe not much ended up in the donation pile, but still, it felt different: airy, lighter, more structured.
Not finished yet, but tank tops, t-shirts, and sweaters are folded with KonMari in everyday life. Next step: shirts ironed, folded, and more shelves for dresses to hang beside.
Therefore, even doing the laundry down in the basement feels better now. And there in the basement stands my old stereo system, collecting dust. Even though it has been unused for years, I’ve held on to it. Maybe it’s finally time to let it go? After all, we have the new record player in the living room – simple, wireless through Bluetooth, and so much easier than all those cables.
My Son’s Humor and the Gentleman in the Sofa
A few days ago, my son came home with a vinyl. A double LP by Volbeat. He had a grin on his face and pretended nothing was going on. I was in the kitchen stirring pots when he suddenly called out: – Carina, you’ve got a gentleman visitor on the sofa.
I looked confused. “No, I don’t,” I replied. But he insisted. When I walked into the living room, there they were: two records, neatly placed in my spot on the sofa. A rather quiet company – but then, once we put one of them on, the room filled with life, energy, and a wonderful noise.
My son’s gift – Volbeat on vinyl, humorously introduced as “gentleman visitors” in the sofa.
I must admit, Volbeat hadn’t been something I listened to actively before. At least not until now. But since these records moved in, they’ve spun many times. My son’s humor in how he presented them made it even more fun. To receive “gentleman visitors” in the form of vinyls – that’s top-notch humor in my book.
Our music wall at home – Volbeat on the turntable and other vinyl favorites in the room.
Oskar Series and Next Week’s Post
Today, I don’t have many big plans except to keep working on the next part of the Oskar series. This time it’s about school recess – those moments that should have been free and fun, but instead often became a struggle.
One of my own pencil drawings – for me it symbolizes how a child may withdraw when the world becomes too much. In the Oskar series, I want to show that behind every silence there is a story we need to listen to.
When I read through what I had written, tears came to my eyes. Maybe it says more about me than the text itself, but still, I believe it will touch hearts. I want to show both the difficulties and a kind of utopia: imagine if recess could become a place where adults joined in, where play was something everyone was invited into, and where children could feel seen and safe.
That’s why I feel this next post is one of the most important I’ve written in the series so far.
Do you usually make lists for your days? Do you stick to them – or do they end up like mine, lying around?
What do you fill your days with when you’re not working? Here, I fill mine with blogging, supporting young people, keeping the home in order, and cooking. And sometimes, I even find space to enjoy life, take care of myself, and feel good.
Reflection
The strange thing is how sick days can turn into days of change. Sometimes all it takes is a folded shirt, a tidied drawer, or a vinyl that surprises you – and suddenly, life feels lighter to live.
AHA – Between the Lines
Creating order in the closet is not just practical. It also becomes a symbol of making space in life – for new records, new laughter, and new stories.
Motivating circumstances and invisible support start long before the lesson begins. Whether Oskar has slept well, eaten breakfast, suffers from a headache, or carries worry with him – all of it shapes what the day will bring. In this part of the Oskar Series, I want to highlight how adults can read the daily form, find the core of motivation, and be the invisible support that truly makes a difference.
In the previous parts of the Oskar Series, I wrote about children’s unique strengths (Part 1) and about how small everyday demands, like tying shoelaces, can overshadow what really matters (Part 2). Now I want to take the next step and talk about something I often repeat when I lecture:
Motivation Beats Class
Already in Freud’s time, it was said: without motivation, we do nothing. This is just as true today. All the methods, rules, and lesson plans in the world don’t matter if the child doesn’t feel motivated.
For Oskar, it is never enough that adults say “you have to.” He needs a reason. And that reason must come from within himself – his interests, his daily form, and his energy.
When we find his motivation, we also find Oskar.
Pencil drawing of a child in a hoodie sitting quietly by the water – a symbol of Oskar’s need for motivating circumstances and invisible support
Understanding Motivating Circumstances and Invisible Support
Oskar’s energy doesn’t start in the classroom. It starts the evening before. Did he sleep well or was he awake half the night? Did he eat breakfast or come to school hungry? Does he have a headache, or did the morning begin with conflict at home?
All these small details become motivating circumstances. They determine whether he can tie his shoes, take part in group work, or even enter the classroom.
That means we adults need to be curious about Oskar every single day. What is he carrying with him today? Sometimes this information even needs to come earlier – through good collaboration between home and school. When teachers know that the night was restless or breakfast ended in chaos, they can adjust their expectations and responses.
Understanding daily form is not about giving excuses – it is about giving us, the adults, the opportunity to adapt and provide the right invisible support.
Motivation as a Bridge
Motivation can never be forced. But we can find it in Oskar’s interests – world records, facts, statistics. When we use those, motivation becomes a bridge between his world and ours.
Instead of saying: “You have to join P.E.”, we can say: “Could you measure the jumps and keep the statistics?”
Suddenly, Oskar is involved – in his own way.
Invisible Support – and the Relationship as the Foundation
Invisible support is most important when the daily form is at its lowest. When everything has gone wrong, when his energy is gone, and when Oskar no longer has the strength to try.
That support doesn’t say: “You failed again.” It says: “That was an attempt. Let’s try again.”
Sometimes it means just sitting beside him. Sometimes it means being a playmate – because learning also happens through games and moments of play.
But no matter the form, one thing is more important than all else: the relationship. Without a relationship, no method or manual will work. The relationship is A and O – the starting point for both safety and motivation.
Questions for You as a Reader
Do you believe motivation is more important than demands – or are there things every child must learn?
Have you seen a child grow when someone embraced their interest?
How can adults become better at recognizing when it is the right day – and when it is not?
Between the Lines
This is not about shoelaces or rules. It is about daring to see the child and ask: What makes you want to?Motivating circumstances and invisible support are not requirements – they are keys.
Reflection
We cannot control a child’s daily form. But we can control our response. And when we find motivation, we also find the paths that both we and the child can walk together.
Yesterday has already settled into history, tomorrow is waiting in the distance. But right now – this is where life happens. – Carina Ikonen Nilsson
FAQ – The Oskar Series Part 3
What do motivating circumstances mean? They are the conditions that make a child able and willing to participate. For Oskar, it could be having slept well, eaten breakfast, or avoiding a headache. It also requires curious adults and collaboration between home and school.
Why is motivation more important than demands? Because without motivation, nothing happens. Demands may create resistance, while motivation opens doors to learning, participation, and growth.
What does “Motivation beats class” mean? It reminds us that even the best classroom and the best teaching will miss the mark if the child lacks motivation. Motivation is always the foundation for learning.
How can Oskar be supported through invisible support? By being present even when things fall apart. It could mean sitting quietly nearby, playing a game, or saying: “That was an attempt – let’s try again.” Above all, it is built on relationship.
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