Early Morning in the Camper – Sunrise, Structure, and a Longing for My Coffee Machine

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Foreword

This post was meant to be about gratitude, but the words took a detour through ADHD, blog categories, and a quiet sunrise. Sometimes, all you can do is follow where the words want to go.

Sunrise and Sleeplessness

This morning, I witnessed a sunrise. Sure, I often wake up early – but today it was very early. I don’t sleep well here in the camper, and I miss my bed at home. Writing that makes me feel ungrateful. Not everyone has a camper to sleep badly in. I try to remind myself to be thankful – for the freedom, the quiet, and the fact that we can go wherever we want, whenever we want.

Next Trip Already Planned

Yesterday, my husband started planning our next little trip. It’s already happening this Thursday – a visit to Borås Zoo with Alfred, his mom, and her partner. They’ll go for the day, but we’ll bring the camper and maybe stay longer. I think he’s planning something bigger, but first stop: Borås.

Structure, Blogging and ADHD – A Tangle Searching for Order

Yesterday I sat here, tinkering with my blog. Trying to organize it. I’ve started adding categories to make it easier to navigate. Old posts from 2009 to 2013 are now in their own group – like a little time capsule. Some posts are treasures, others… well. But I won’t delete them. I’m trying to see them with kind eyes – and I hope you will too.

Structuring a blog when you have ADHD isn’t exactly smooth sailing. For me, it’s like trying to clean a room while someone keeps moving the furniture around in my head. ADHD affects focus, impulse control, time management, and staying power. Starting is easy – finishing, not so much. And the “red thread”? More like a yarn tangle.

Still – this blog has shown my persistence. I’ve written for so many years, about so many things. Maybe my ADHD shows up here too: I follow impulses, the words come fast, I jump between topics. But I keep going. That is a kind of structure. Maybe not the traditional kind, but mine. With AI’s help, I can now make more sense of it – even if it still means hours of staring confusedly at the screen.

ADHD in Everyday Life:
ADHD affects executive function – planning, impulse control, emotional regulation – but it also brings creativity, intense focus (sometimes), and rich emotional depth. For many, including me, it’s not just a diagnosis. It’s a way of being in the world.

Heading Home – and Longing for Coffee

Today, we’re heading back home. Time to pack up, unpack the camper, do laundry, and check in on the greenhouse and my little garden. I’m looking forward to sitting under the pavilion and writing there instead of under our camper’s awning.

And the coffee. Oh, how I miss my coffee machine. Out here, it’s just regular drip coffee – even if I grind the beans myself. It’s not the same. Sure, I can froth the milk even in the camper – but who has the energy for that first thing in the morning? It’s a plain cup with a bit of milk. Nothing like the real deal at home.

Callouts – let me ask you…

Do you struggle with creating structure in your everyday life – especially with ADHD?
What does gratitude mean to you, especially on days when everything feels off?
Have you ever read your old writing with kind eyes?

Reflection

Sometimes it’s all a bit much. Gratitude that rubs against exhaustion. Longing for my bed and my coffee machine. But also – a sunrise I would have missed if I’d been sleeping deeply. It hits me that life doesn’t have to be either-or. Maybe it gets to be both. Maybe, somewhere in the middle of all the mess, that’s where I’m most myself.

Yesterday already rests in the pages of history. Tomorrow waits somewhere down the road. But right now – this is where life happens. – Carina Ikonen Nilsson