The morning is still dark as the smell of coffee fills the living room. At first, I felt the words had dried up, but as the candles flicker, thoughts begin to move again. In this post I share a quiet autumn morning, the final garden chores, and reflections on how feelings and thoughts sometimes play tricks on us.
It is still dark outside, the clock barely past dawn. Coffee steams in my cup while one lamp and two small candles light the room. I’ve been up for a while, but only now opened my laptop. It feels as if the words have run out, as if I am writing the last lines here for a while. Autumn has sighed its first breath, and I imagine its yellow leaves drifting even onto this blog.
But maybe that’s only a feeling. As if time has paused and the air itself stands still.
Thoughts Moving at a Slow Pace
The days go by. I do ordinary things. The ambitions I had before autumn quietly slid into a slower rhythm of not-doing. I feel stuck at home. Morning swims have paused, evening walks happen only on nights when I have the strength to join my husband – and not even every time. Perhaps illness is slowing me down, or maybe it’s simply time for rest.
The Greenhouse and the Garden’s Rest
Today promises sunshine, and I plan to tidy the greenhouse. I’ll pick the last ripe tomatoes, cut down the plants and spread the soil from the pots onto my garden beds as preparation for next year. Pots will be washed, the rain barrel emptied, and the greenhouse allowed to rest through winter.
young cucumbers sprouting in the greenhouse
I wonder if I am starting too soon. When do seasoned gardeners do this? Still, I want it done now, to avoid standing in January realizing something was left undone.
Tips: Autumn Tasks for Your Garden
As autumn settles in, a few small steps help your garden thrive next year:
Harvest the last crops – tomatoes, beans, apples, and root vegetables.
Cut back and clean – remove old plants and weeds so the soil can rest.
Cover with leaves or compost – to nourish and protect the soil.
Plant garlic and spring bulbs – garlic planted in September or October will reward you next summer.
Protect sensitive plants – cover roses, dahlias and others with leaves or spruce branches.
Empty rain barrels – so they don’t freeze and crack.
This summer brought the quiet joy of growing things. Tomatoes tasted of pure summer, cucumbers were a delight to pick, and lettuce grew in abundance – maybe too much. Next year I’ll plan better and start seedlings at the right time. Soon I’ll plant garlic and pre-sprout onions. Our potatoes weren’t many, but they were delicious.
We also planted two apple trees: Ingrid Marie for its wonderful flavor, and Astrakan, which carries memories from the film The Emigrants. I hope both trees survive the winter.
Thoughts and Feelings That Play Tricks
Quite a lot of words for someone who just felt empty of them. Maybe it was only one of those fleeting feelings that sneak in when darkness still rests outside the window. Thoughts can be tricky. They whisper that everything has stopped and that the air stands still. But it isn’t always true.
Often they are just shadows of worry or tiredness, echoes of a restless night. Sometimes they play pranks, mixing up a quiet pause with an ending. Perhaps the real strength lies in seeing that not every thought has to become a truth. In that space—where you breathe and let the thought pass—new words, new steps and new days can quietly begin.
Reflection
This morning reminds me that stillness is not an end. Even a slow start can hold seeds of something new. Maybe it is in the pause that the next chapter quietly forms.
Between the Lines – My Voice
Beneath the words lives a longing for balance. A rest that is not escape but preparation. A reminder that nature knows when it’s time to gather strength.
AHA – Between the Lines
Perhaps this is really a story about more than greenhouses and autumn. When I thought my words had gone silent, they were still breathing inside me like a quiet rhythm. It’s as if nature and writing remind me that everything can move at its own pace. Pauses are not endings; they too are part of creation.
Today we’re heading out with our little LVL^2. There’s a pleasant feeling in my body – a sense of well-earned rest. Maybe it’s because the laundry baskets are empty. That doesn’t happen often. I don’t know how many loads I did yesterday, but it turned into a full laundry day. And still, we managed to fit in a swim.
Not the refreshing, cold dip I often long for. The lake at home was warm – almost body temperature. I didn’t even feel cold getting in. But the kids enjoyed it – and so did I. Even though I was in the water almost as long as they were, I still felt warm when I got out. But I also felt grateful. Swimming together is its own kind of quiet luxury. Though mostly, I just swam on my own.
Have you ever felt that? When life is overflowing with things to do, but still feels strangely empty? Maybe those small moments – a swim, an empty laundry basket – are where life happens most clearly.
Thirty kilometers in blazing sun
Later in the morning, my brother and his daughter arrived. They had biked all the way from Uddevalla – 30 kilometers in blazing sunshine. The temperature reached 27–30 degrees. I’m impressed. Also, a little worried. I would’ve passed out halfway.
But my brother has always been determined. He once biked all the way to Gothenburg. I suppose it runs in the family – because when our grandfather was young, he and his brothers used to cycle from Gothenburg to Uddevalla every weekend. They worked until 1 PM on Saturdays, then hopped on their bikes to spend Sunday with their parents. Would anyone do that today? I doubt it. These days, people train for the sake of training – not to visit their parents.
Do you think we’ve become too comfortable? Or are we just showing love in different ways today?
A pancake worth remembering
After the swim, I got the idea to make a gluten-free oven pancake. I’ve tried many times before – but it’s never really turned out right. That fluffy, firm texture has always been missing. But yesterday… it worked.
I found a recipe from Det glutenfria köket (The Gluten-Free Kitchen) and made a double batch. I left out the bacon since we were having it with ice cream. The pancake turned out exactly the way I hoped. We ate it with queen’s jam and vanilla ice cream. The kids devoured it like they’d never seen food before. And I… I just sat there, enjoying the fact that I pulled it off. It had that soft, fluffy texture – just like I remember from my mother’s kitchen.
Recipe – Gluten-Free Oven Pancake
You’ll need: – 4 eggs – 3 dl gluten-free flour mix (like Finax Red or Semper Mix) – 4 dl milk – 1 tsp psyllium husk – 1 tsp baking powder – A pinch of salt – 1 pack of bacon or smoked ham (optional)
How to make it:
Preheat oven to 220°C (428°F).
Whisk a bit more than half of the milk together with flour mix, psyllium husk, baking powder, and salt.
Add eggs one at a time while whisking.
Pour in the rest of the milk. Let the batter sit for 10 minutes.
If using bacon – dice and pre-bake it in the baking dish for 10 minutes.
Pour the batter into the dish and bake for 30–40 minutes in the center of the oven.
Serve with jam and ice cream – and a cup of coffee if you like.
Evening with cheese, crackers, and card games
Later that evening, my daughter and her partner came by. She had called earlier and asked if we could have cheese and crackers. I said yes right away. There’s something about those kinds of evenings – simple, yet deeply meaningful. We sat out on the patio playing cards until the dark slowly settled in. I wasn’t exactly a champion at the games, but I did win with my laughter – and my “fult ord”.
(Now, I don’t actually say a lot of bad words. I say “fult ord” – which literally means “bad word.” The boys at work thought that was hilarious and joked that whenever I said it, they’d mentally insert an actual swear word. But after a few months, they all started saying “fult ord” too. It became our thing.)
Have you ever felt that someone is doing something just to ease your pain? It’s beautiful – but also fragile. What happens when we realize we need to carry our own grief?
But in the middle of all that warmth and joy, a thought crept in. One I’ve been carrying for a while. I don’t want my daughter to come just because our son doesn’t. I don’t want her to feel like she needs to fill a void or be a comfort. That emptiness – that’s ours to deal with.
I’ve spoken to her about these thoughts. And I hope she comes to us because she truly wants to – not out of guilt or responsibility for something she can’t fix.
And yet… I’m so grateful that she does come. That we have these evenings. Together.
Thoughts on faith – and a question from my neighbor
Before I end, I want to share a short clip from my neighbor’s YouTube channel. She makes sweet little educational films for children – but sometimes, she speaks to us grown-ups too. Today she asks: Can we live without religion?
I don’t know. I think many people in Sweden live without God in the traditional sense. But I believe we all still believe – in something. Karma, nature, kindness, purpose. I believe goodness creates more goodness – that kind acts ripple out into the world.
Faith has always been part of humanity. People have always needed to believe in something bigger – a reason to keep going. Our ancestors had gods long before priests came. Vikings, cave dwellers, everyone had their form of belief.
As for me – I go to church once a year. On Christmas Eve. For the songs, for the peace. I wouldn’t call myself religious. But maybe I am, in my own way.
Do you need something bigger to believe in? What holds your thoughts when the world feels too large – or too empty?
Reflection
This was a day full of sun, swimming, food, family and thoughts. A day where the heat pressed down, but my heart opened. A day that tasted like pancake, smelled of sun-warmed skin – and left something to quietly ponder.
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