This post was meant to be about gratitude, but the words took a detour through ADHD, blog categories, and a quiet sunrise. Sometimes, all you can do is follow where the words want to go.
Sunrise and Sleeplessness
This morning, I witnessed a sunrise. Sure, I often wake up early – but today it was very early. I don’t sleep well here in the camper, and I miss my bed at home. Writing that makes me feel ungrateful. Not everyone has a camper to sleep badly in. I try to remind myself to be thankful – for the freedom, the quiet, and the fact that we can go wherever we want, whenever we want.
Next Trip Already Planned
Yesterday, my husband started planning our next little trip. It’s already happening this Thursday – a visit to Borås Zoo with Alfred, his mom, and her partner. They’ll go for the day, but we’ll bring the camper and maybe stay longer. I think he’s planning something bigger, but first stop: Borås.
Structure, Blogging and ADHD – A Tangle Searching for Order
Yesterday I sat here, tinkering with my blog. Trying to organize it. I’ve started adding categories to make it easier to navigate. Old posts from 2009 to 2013 are now in their own group – like a little time capsule. Some posts are treasures, others… well. But I won’t delete them. I’m trying to see them with kind eyes – and I hope you will too.
Structuring a blog when you have ADHD isn’t exactly smooth sailing. For me, it’s like trying to clean a room while someone keeps moving the furniture around in my head. ADHD affects focus, impulse control, time management, and staying power. Starting is easy – finishing, not so much. And the “red thread”? More like a yarn tangle.
Still – this blog has shown my persistence. I’ve written for so many years, about so many things. Maybe my ADHD shows up here too: I follow impulses, the words come fast, I jump between topics. But I keep going. That is a kind of structure. Maybe not the traditional kind, but mine. With AI’s help, I can now make more sense of it – even if it still means hours of staring confusedly at the screen.
ADHD in Everyday Life: ADHD affects executive function – planning, impulse control, emotional regulation – but it also brings creativity, intense focus (sometimes), and rich emotional depth. For many, including me, it’s not just a diagnosis. It’s a way of being in the world.
Heading Home – and Longing for Coffee
Today, we’re heading back home. Time to pack up, unpack the camper, do laundry, and check in on the greenhouse and my little garden. I’m looking forward to sitting under the pavilion and writing there instead of under our camper’s awning.
And the coffee. Oh, how I miss my coffee machine. Out here, it’s just regular drip coffee – even if I grind the beans myself. It’s not the same. Sure, I can froth the milk even in the camper – but who has the energy for that first thing in the morning? It’s a plain cup with a bit of milk. Nothing like the real deal at home.
Callouts – let me ask you…
Do you struggle with creating structure in your everyday life – especially with ADHD? What does gratitude mean to you, especially on days when everything feels off? Have you ever read your old writing with kind eyes?
Reflection
Sometimes it’s all a bit much. Gratitude that rubs against exhaustion. Longing for my bed and my coffee machine. But also – a sunrise I would have missed if I’d been sleeping deeply. It hits me that life doesn’t have to be either-or. Maybe it gets to be both. Maybe, somewhere in the middle of all the mess, that’s where I’m most myself.
Yesterday already rests in the pages of history. Tomorrow waits somewhere down the road. But right now – this is where life happens. – Carina Ikonen Nilsson
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I was probably around 20 when I saw him for the first time. At first, I thought it would be just another concert – like any other. But oh, how wrong I was.
After the concert, I still remember the sore throat, the exhaustion, the echo in my head. Now, I often feel that way after a show – but back then, it was something else. Maybe it was the first time I felt something that strong.
The Magic That Kept Returning
And that feeling… it came back every time I saw him. How I loved watching him. His movements were monotonous, almost mechanical – but that’s what made it so special. It was Ozzy Osbourne, exactly as he was meant to be.
My god, I loved going to those concerts. That real feeling – the one that rooted deep inside – was always there.
Before the Legends Became Legends
I think I’ve seen most of the big heavy metal bands. I was even at a show where Helloween opened for one of the greats.
And I saw The Rev – alive – on stage at Ullevi. He played with Avenged Sevenfold, opening for Iron Maiden.
Back then, I didn’t like the band. They didn’t resonate with me – probably because I was just waiting for Iron Maiden. But after The Rev died… I found my way to their music. And suddenly, I heard the beauty. The depth that had always been there.
What Hits Hardest
There’s something that happens when you find something too late. When you suddenly understand what you missed while it was right in front of you.
The Tribute That’s Happening Now
All the love pouring in on social media. How the world is lifting up The King of Darkness – Ozzy Osbourne.
I wasn’t at the 2025 concert in Birmingham. I had already decided to keep the memory of him as he was back then.
But now… now I see how wrong I was. I should have listened to my son, who told me to go. But I said no. “I’ve seen him young – I want to keep that image.” Oh, how I wish I had been there. To share that moment. To honor him – this enormous icon – as he said goodbye.
My ADHD Heart and What I Really Wanted to Say
And yet, this wasn’t what I meant to write either. My ADHD brain swims through words that don’t always line up the way they should.
But what I truly wanted to say is this: I’m so moved – deeply moved – to see all the love for Ozzy and his band, Black Sabbath.
It’s beautiful. Those who were there. Those who shared. Those who now carry his legacy forward.
He Still Owns the Stage – Even Sitting
But the greatest thing of all? Seeing how – despite all the pain his body carries – he can still captivate an entire arena. He’s sitting. But he creates magic just by being there.
He doesn’t move like he used to. He’s not standing tall. And yet… every clip I’ve seen carries that same feeling I once had in front of the stage.
It must be his aura. His voice. His power within.
The Presence Was Always the Power
I used to think it was his movement and voice that made him great. But now I understand: It was never just that.
It was him. His presence. His being. The legend.
This Man – and His Life
I truly love this man – everything he’s done in his life. I read his book a few years ago, and I can honestly say: It’s worth it. My god, what a life. That he’s still alive today… it’s almost unbelievable.
What Matters Most
I strayed again. But now I return to what I wanted to say:
I’m so deeply touched – so full of love – that he gets to experience all this now, while he’s alive. He gets to hear the words that usually come too late. The ones we say after someone is gone.
And that… That feels incredibly important. More than anything, maybe.
But even then – do we ever truly hear those words? I’m not sure we do.
Celebrate While We Still Can
Because no matter how much we praise someone after they’re gone – It’s while they live that they need to hear it.
Famous or unknown. Big or small.
We all have something to learn from that.
Reflection
We so often wait too long. Our words land in silence, when they can no longer be received.
But Ozzy – he gets to hear them now. And that’s something we all deserve. Whether we’re on stage, or sitting in the crowd.
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Do you have a memory from a concert, an artist who meant something to you, or something you wish you’d said? Leave a comment – I read them all.
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OZZY – you’ve carried my darkness and lit it with sound. I love you.
Live and act today. What you did yesterday is history. The future? We know nothing about it. And if we wait… it might be too late. But we won’t know that until tomorrow – if we’re lucky enough to see it. – Carina Ikonen Nilsson.
Writing is my way of breathing. And today, I breathe gratitude – for the night, the morning, and the journey we’ve been on. Here are a few words from our moment in Vilhelmina, before we begin our way home again.
Gratitude as a Way of Life
A new day to live. A new day to breathe. I often feel gratitude just for waking up – simply opening my eyes and starting over is something I no longer take for granted. The more years that pass, the more I live in thoughts of thankfulness. It’s as if growing older peels away the noise and makes space for what truly matters.
Morning in Vilhelmina – Fully Charged
Today, I live inside my gratitudes. Grateful for a good night’s sleep. Grateful that we arrived here in Vilhelmina. And grateful that we begin our journey home today.
I don’t know how far we’ll go – maybe all the way to Mora, or perhaps we’ll stop in Östersund for the night. There are many miles to travel, but we’ll take them at our own pace.
All the Miles Behind Us
What a journey we’ve had! So many experiences, so many miles – and most of all: so much we’ve shared. Me, my husband, and the little one. Yesterday, when we arrived here, it was time to recharge – both body and devices. Vacuum cleaner, toothbrush, laptops – everything needed a boost before the new day.
We mostly camp to enjoy a warm shower and recharge everything. Others at the campgrounds sit outside, socialize, grill, and enjoy the camping life. We do the other things – prepare food, shower, tidy up for the night. Then we curl up with our phones or computers for a little while, before sleep takes us. I don’t think we’ve stayed up late even once. All those miles and moments make us tired by nightfall.
A Tiredness You Feel in Your Bones
Last night, I was writing a blog post, yawning through every sentence. Tears streamed down my cheeks from all the yawning. And the moment my head hit the pillow, I was gone.
Långfil – A Northern Breakfast Love
At our stop in Blåsjön, I found something I’d been longing for – långfil!
Långfil is a traditional northern Swedish fermented milk product – thicker than regular yogurt and with a soft, tangy taste. It forms long, silky threads when stirred – hence the name. For many, it’s a childhood favorite and a true symbol of northern Swedish breakfast culture. Sometimes, you can sprinkle a little cinnamon, ginger, or sugar on top – and it becomes pure delight.
So today, I’m treating myself to a proper northern breakfast with långfil. And a quiet smile – because this morning feels exactly as it should.
Stekenjokk – A Mountain Landscape to Carry with You
During our journey, we passed Stekenjokk, a place you can’t describe without pausing to take a deeper breath.
Stekenjokk is one of Sweden’s highest roads, stretching across a mountain plateau in the borderlands between Jämtland and Lapland. The landscape opens like a skyward roof. Rugged mountains, melting snow streams, and patches of snow that linger well into summer. The nature here is powerful – wild and wind-worn, yet calming.
For the little one, it was the snow in June that stood out. For us, it was the silence, the vastness, and the feeling of being just a tiny dot in something so much greater.
A Journey for the Memory Bank
The little one may have spent a lot of time with his phone or laptop, but he still got to experience the landscapes of Norway and northern Sweden. Now he can say “I’ve been there” – and truly know what it looks like. He knows now how quickly the weather changes here – from sun to storm in a snap.
He can say, “Yes, I remember – the wind up there really can blow!” And we’ve felt that – not once, but twice. Winds so strong you could barely walk forward. A force you have to both respect and remember.
Heading Home – With a Heart Full
Now we’re packing up, charging the last devices, and slowly heading home. A journey is never just roads and rest stops – it’s memories, emotions, and lessons. And I’m truly grateful for every step.
Writing Time Among Fjäll and Fil
Something else I’ve carried with me on this trip is words. I’ve had time to write – and more importantly, time to listen. To my own thoughts. To the wind in the mountains. To the silence.
It was here, during this journey, that a new title for a future story arrived. It’s still just a seed. But The Winged Horse – that tale is growing.
Right now, I’m actively working on writing the full story of The Winged Horse, Alfred, and Tom. It’s a tale that has grown slowly over time – piece by piece, image by image – and now it’s taking shape as a real book. A book I plan to publish when it’s ready.
The illustrations are created with help from AI, but the story, the voice, the emotion – that’s all mine. It’s my story – born in a camper van, carried by forest stillness, silence, and imagination. And maybe the mountain winds have whispered a few extra lines along the way.
Would you like to follow the journey as I work on the book? You can read more here on my blog, under the tag The Winged Horse.
Would you like to get a message when the book is ready? Feel free to leave a comment or send me an email – I’d love that.
Thank you for reading. If you’d like to follow more of our travels and everyday moments, feel free to comment or share your own stories. And if you’d like to support my writing – donate a small gift via PayPal.
Live well. And don’t forget to breathe. /Carina – malix.se
Carina Ikonen Nilsson Lev idag, just nu. Igår finns inte längre här och morgondagen kommer först i morgon. Just nu är det som gäller.
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