Yesterday I wrote about the need for support for children like Oskar, and how schools often miss the very children who need adult presence the most. It sparked strong reactions, and it’s clear that this topic touches many hearts.
Those of you who have followed the Oskar Series for a long time know that I often return to these children.
Read this post in Swedish ->Varför stöd för barn som Oskar behövs tidigt
It became so clear how deeply this resonates.
Not because I pointed at anyone,
but because so many recognize a child like Oskar.
Children like Oskar are malleable, sensitive, and often misunderstood. That is why support for children like Oskar must be put in place early, long before problems grow.
For me, it always begins with the Oskar-children.
The ones I write about, think about, meet in my work, and carry in my heart.
Children who are malleable, sensitive, impulsive, wise, fearful, curious, and overwhelmed — all at the same time.
But let me remind you of something:
Oskar was not born difficult.
He was the sweetest little boy when he came into the world.
Soft, clear-eyed, and full of possibility.
He wasn’t born with problems.
He was born with needs.
Sometimes he did things adults didn’t understand.
And when adults didn’t understand him —
how could Oskar possibly understand himself?
When Oskar gets angry, everything he knows disappears for a moment.
There is no time or space.
That is when adults are needed — not afterwards, but before.
When the anger rises and Oskar’s abilities fall away,
that is exactly when support for children like Oskar becomes crucial.
When adults truly know a child,
there are strategies for those days that are harder than others.
Days when Oskar doesn’t have his best shape.
Days when you want to offer lemonade and cookies because that is exactly what his body needs.
Or a walk in pouring rain,
because Oskar has always believed the sky can wash feelings out of the body.
Or a quiet moment in a dark room with a flashlight and a book,
because in the darkness the world becomes smaller and safer.
Children like Oskar need things like this.
Not demands.
Not punishment.
Not suspension.
But adults who see him
before the day collapses.
Recess — the place where it often breaks
And then there is recess.
The place where adults often believe children “manage on their own.”
But for a child like Oskar, it is the opposite.
Recess is often the most dangerous time of the day.
Teased, pushed, excluded.
Not always, but often enough to keep him tense.
When Oskar gets angry, it is already too late.
Not because he wants to do wrong,
but because his body takes over where his words stop.
That is why an adult is needed on the playground.
Not as a guard,
but as presence.
Someone who can say:
I saw what happened.
You shouldn’t have to stand here alone.
Come, let’s walk this way.
What the school is actually required to provide
Swedish school law is clear:
- Children must receive special support when they cannot manage school under ordinary conditions.
- Support must begin immediately when a need is identified.
- The principal is responsible for collaboration between student health, staff, and family.
- Children have the right to safety during lessons and recess.
This means that a child like Oskar has the right to:
- a safe adult during recess
- classroom adjustments
- support during transitions
- calm environments
- understanding instead of reprimands
- adults who learn to read his day-to-day emotional state
It is not the child who must adjust.
It is the adult world that must grow to make space for him.
Questions for you, the reader
Do you recognize a child like Oskar?
Have you seen how quickly a situation can fall apart when adults don’t arrive in time?
What would change if children like Oskar had an adult at their side before problems arise?
How would school look if resources were placed where children actually need them?
Reflection – Between the Lines
Between the lines, this text is not about Oskar at all.
It is about us adults.
About how easily we forget that children are still children,
that their reactions come from feelings they cannot yet express,
and that their “mistakes” are often calls for support, not signs of defiance.
It is also about how often we adults arrive too late.
We interpret the behaviour but miss the need.
We see the anger but not the whole day that led there.
Between the lines, this is a reminder that children do not grow from punishment,
but from adults who stay, stay close,
and dare to be there before everything breaks.
AHA – Between the Lines
The aha-moment of this text might be this:
Oskar is not a child who needs to be fixed.
It is the adult world that needs adjusting.
When we change how we meet him,
Oskar changes how he meets the world.
Seeing that —
that is the difference between holding on to a problem
and beginning to solve it.
Live today, right now. It is in today’s small moments that we shape the safety children carry into tomorrow.
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You should also know this:
My intention with this text is not to point fingers at anyone.
It is to make something visible — something we too easily look away from.
And if even one person who reads this
chooses to put on a different pair of glasses the next time they meet a child like Oskar…
If even one adult pauses, sees a little deeper,
and makes one small difference in a child’s day —
then writing this was worth it.
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