Working with myself through dreams

Working with myself through dreams was not something I planned to begin with.
It just happened. Or perhaps: it started to whisper.

Read this post in Swedish->Arbeta med sig själv genom drömmar

It began to feel as if something in my dreams wanted to be thought through — or felt — by me. Some dreams returned quite often, others were unusually clear. Over time, I have come to understand that those dreams have given me deeper insight into myself — but they have also helped me take care of the little girl who lives within me.

The one who took on far too much responsibility for everyone else.
The one who stayed quiet so as not to disturb.
The one who carried things children should never have to know exist.

Today, she has calmed down. She sleeps better.
And she trusts that I am the one steering the ship now.

I have always dreamed a lot, but only now — as I have slowed down in life — have I begun to listen. To write things down. To reflect. Not to interpret correctly, but to understand myself a little better.

And the more I do this, the clearer it becomes: some dreams are not about the future.
They are about me. Here. Now.

I have always dreamed a lot, but only now — as I have slowed down in life — have I begun to listen.
For me, working with myself through dreams has become a way of pausing and meeting what already exists within me.

Dream work – working with myself through dreams

Working with myself through dreams in everyday life

I have noticed that dreams often pick up on things I do not quite have time to face during the day. Things that rub a little. Or things that are already beginning to loosen.

Sometimes old memories return in a new form. Sometimes a dream shows something I have left behind — but have not yet truly said goodbye to. And sometimes it shows what I have, consciously or unconsciously, invited into my life.

For example, I recently dreamed about a former boss. It was a strange dream, and it was not really about him at all. It was about no longer needing him in order to make my voice heard. That insight did not arrive as a thought, but as a feeling that stayed with me when I woke up.

And perhaps that was exactly what the dream wanted to show. Not that something was still unresolved, but that something was actually finished. That what once felt large and controlling no longer has the same place in my life.

I do not know exactly what the dream wanted to tell me.
But I know what it did to me.
It made me calm.

And sometimes, that is enough.

Dreams are rarely logical.
But they are often honest.

Working with myself through dreams has not given me more answers — but it has given me more peace.

Houses and rooms – when the dream is about me

Many of my dreams take place in houses. I move through rooms, corridors, staircases. Sometimes it is messy, sometimes still.

For me, it has become clear: the houses are about how I live within myself.

One room feels safe — I like to stay there.
Another is closed or forgotten.
Sometimes a room appears that I did not know existed.

It is rarely frightening. More… revealing.

Mysterious men and uncomfortable figures

Sometimes men appear in my dreams. Strangers. Some uncomfortable, others quiet and simply present.

I no longer believe they are about men. I believe they are about boundaries.

About what I no longer want to let close. Or what I need to protect within myself.

When something is in the wrong place

There are dreams where the details linger. Like old shrimp shells where they do not belong. Trash in the wrong room. Things that smell, disturb, cannot be ignored.

For me, those dreams often point to something old that has been left behind for too long. Something that no longer belongs in my life — but has not yet been cleared away.

Not because I am careless.
But because I have been busy with other things.

Recurring dreams

I now take recurring dreams seriously. Not as warnings — but as reminders.

Something is not finished. Something wants to be seen.

And often I notice that when I do — when I understand, put words to it, change something in my everyday life — the dream stops returning.

As if it has done its work.

Some dream symbols – as I experience them

(not a manual, just recognition)

House – myself, my inner life
Rooms – different parts of my life
Basement / attic – memories, things I have put away
Strangers / men – boundaries, relationships, intuition
Things in the wrong place – something that no longer belongs
Recurring dreams – something wanting to be understood
Losing hair – vulnerability, exhaustion, loss of control
Long or heavy eyelashes – seeing too much, or something blocking the view
Heavy objects – responsibility that has become too heavy to carry
Things breaking – change, something that no longer holds
Books – knowledge, lived experience, stories you carry or have yet to open
Losing things – losing yourself for a while
Not reaching your destination – resistance, a need to move at a different pace

The feeling in the dream is always more important than the symbol.

When I look back at the dream about my former boss with this understanding, it becomes clearer. He was not at the center — the feeling of change was. Something had loosened.

Perhaps that was what the dream showed. A responsibility that no longer needed to be carried. A gaze that was no longer required. A voice that no longer needed permission.

In other dreams, it has been hair falling out, things breaking, or heavy objects that were difficult to carry. Not as warnings, but as images of exhaustion — and of relief when something is finally allowed to fall.

And sometimes books appear. Books that are lost, or that cannot be opened. For me, they often represent experiences I already carry, but do not always use. As if the dream is reminding me that I know more than I think.

I still do not know exactly what each dream wants to say.
But I notice what they do to me.

They make me calmer.
And they help me see that I am no longer where I once was.

What dream work has done for me

Since I began writing down my dreams and reflecting on them, something has changed in me.

I have become calmer. Softer.

I see my progress more clearly — not as major breakthroughs, but as small adjustments. Less struggle. More acceptance.

Everyday life feels closer. As if I am no longer living beside myself, but with myself.

Gentle questions for you as a reader

You do not have to answer. Just notice.

Is there a dream that has stayed with you?
What was the feeling in it — rather than the event?
Is there something in your life right now that feels rough, or has softened?
Is there something you might need to let go of — or invite in?

Reflection

Working with yourself through dreams is not about analyzing your life to pieces.
It is about listening — before the body needs to scream.

AHA – between the lines

Dreams do not show me what to do. They show me where I already am.
Dreams do not tell me who I should become — they show me who I no longer need to be.

Between the lines – my voice

I am not searching for answers to everything.
I just want to live a little closer to myself.
And right now, dreams help me do that.

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Carina Ikonen Nilsson

Live today, right now.
Yesterday rests in history, tomorrow is not here yet.
It is here — in this moment — that life is felt and can be lived.

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