We talk so much about marrying someone else. We talk so much about marrying someone else.
But what about marrying life – saying yes to the life we are actually living?
As if the biggest promise we can make in life is between two people, a ring, and a piece of paper.
But what about the promise we make to ourselves?
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In Swedish we have a word: “giftas.”
It literally means to get married, but for me it has grown into something much deeper.
It has become a way of committing to life itself.
A quiet, daily “yes” to who I am and the life I’m living.
Not the life someone else expects of me.
Not the life that looks perfect from the outside.
But the life that feels true on the inside.
Saying yes to myself.
Saying yes to my life.
Saying yes to who I am – every single day.
It sounds simple.
It rarely is.
Marrying life means staying when everything in you wants to run.
It means breathing through the storms, through changing relationships, through the pain of loss and longing.
It means holding yourself when no one else does, and taking the next step even when the ground feels unsteady.
And maybe that’s where the real marriage begins –
in the moment we understand that we are allowed to choose ourselves, without asking for permission.
What does “marrying life” really mean?
Giftas – saying yes to life in everyday moments
For me, giftas – saying yes to life – is about choosing myself even when it feels difficult.
Marrying life is not a one-time decision.
It’s a promise that needs to be renewed, sometimes several times a day.
Life is not always kind.
Some days the body protests, the mind spirals, and the heart feels heavy as stone.
On those days it’s easy to forget the promise we once made.
But maybe that’s exactly when the real giftas happens.
Not when the sun sparkles on the water and the coffee tastes like heaven,
but on the grey days when you can barely get up.
When you still whisper:
I continue.
I choose life today too.
I choose myself.
Giftas – saying yes to life means responsibility
Marrying life also means taking responsibility.
Not the heavy kind that crushes your chest,
but the gentle responsibility toward yourself.
Seeing your own needs, boundaries, and dreams
without immediately judging or shrinking them.
It’s easy to believe that life just happens to us.
That others decide.
That circumstances rule.
But somewhere along the way I realized something:
I always have a choice.
Not always over what happens –
but always over how I meet it.
That realization changed everything.
Giftas – saying yes to life requires courage
This is where courage enters.
The courage to stay when leaving would be easier.
The courage to say no when your body begs for rest but the world demands more.
The courage to say yes to what feels right, even when no one else understands.
Marrying life is opening your hands to what comes, without guarantees.
Walking forward not because anyone applauds,
but because your heart whispers:
This is your path.
Vulnerability and courage
Vulnerability is often the hardest part.
It’s easy to say we choose life when everything flows, when laughter comes easily and the future feels clear.
But marrying life also means daring to be fully human –
with cracks, doubts, and fears.
Many of us learned to bite down.
To be strong.
Not to show pain.
To manage alone.
As if vulnerability were shameful.
But I’ve begun to understand the opposite:
Vulnerability is not a flaw –
it is proof that we are alive.
It shows that we care, that we feel, that we love.
That something in us is still soft and open, willing to receive life even when it might break.
Marrying life means letting go of the illusion of control and daring to say:
I don’t know how this will go.
I may get hurt.
I may lose.
But I choose anyway.
What have you married?
Maybe this is a question we need to ask ourselves sometimes:
What have I married?
Not just who – but what.
Have I married other people’s expectations?
Old stories about who I “should” be?
Performance, stress, or the role of always being strong?
Or have I married life – the real, breathing life under my skin?
We all carry something we’ve said yes to, consciously or not.
So it’s worth pausing and asking:
Is this still my choice?
Or am I just following old habits?
A yes to life
For me, giftas – saying yes to life – is a choice I make over and over again.
Today I know what I choose:
I choose life.
Not the perfect life.
Not the one that looks good from the outside.
But the one that feels true inside.
The life that is messy, chipped, unpredictable –
and still makes my heart beat warmer.
I choose me.
Not at the expense of others,
but because when I stand steady in myself,
I can meet the world with open hands.
And you?
What would happen if you chose yourself today?
Not tomorrow.
Not when everything is perfect.
But now.
Maybe that is where the marriage to life begins.
In the small, quiet yes only you can hear.
The one that changes something inside you.
Between the Lines – my voice
When I write about marrying life, I’m really reminding myself of something:
I’m allowed to choose me.
I’m allowed to say yes to what makes me warm and whole, even when life hurts or people walk away.
There is freedom in realizing I don’t have to hold on to what causes pain.
I can move on.
I can create my own life.
I can be my own safety.
This is not selfishness.
It is love.
For me.
AHA – Between the Lines
This text whispers:
I no longer wait for someone else to say yes to me.
I say yes to myself.
That shift changes everything.
From seeking belonging
to creating it.
From hoping someone stays
to choosing to stay in my own life.
That is where strength lives.
Want to go deeper?
If you feel called to explore your own path, or if you need someone to listen and hold space with you, you are warmly welcome to my page:
Presence & Conversation – read more and book a session
Read more: Self-Compassion: Theory, Method, Research, and Intervention — a deep exploration of how we can be kind to ourselves when life trembles.
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Thank you for being here.
Yesterday has already settled into history.
Tomorrow waits somewhere ahead.
But right now – this is where life happens.
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