ADHD and impulsivity have followed me throughout my life — first as questions about biology and medicine, later as an understanding of regulation and safety. When I read my words from 2008, I see a person trying to understand her brain. Today I see the same person — but with more experience.
🇸🇪 Läs inlägget på svenska här →Tankar om biologi, medicin och impulsivitet – då och nu
👉Read this Living with ADHD as an Adult – More Than “A Little Bit”
Part 1 – Text from 2008
(This section was written in 2008. Spelling and language have been gently adjusted, but the thoughts remain the same.)
Thoughts on evolution, genes, biology and neuropsychology in ADHD
A thought emerged when I met my doctor regarding ADHD. He gave me an example.
Awareness of consequences in choices – ADHD and impulsivity
People without ADHD are often more aware of the consequences of their choices. If they are faced with two options where both may lead to less desirable outcomes, mechanisms in the brain allow them to pause, weigh pros and cons, and think before deciding.
A person with ADHD may face the same choices — but can be more impulsive and not always think through the consequences.
People without ADHD often handle consequences differently, while ADHD and impulsivity can make decisions faster and less considered.
According to my doctor, the interesting part was this:
People who receive Ritalin, Concerta or similar medications gain the same — or sometimes even better — conditions for making thoughtful decisions as people without ADHD. He explained that these medications contain small doses of central stimulants (methylphenidate hydrochloride) that improve attention and reduce impulsive behavior.
He also suggested that this small tablet could reduce young people’s curiosity toward drugs, and that individuals who had struggled with substance abuse — and later received an ADHD diagnosis — sometimes stopped abusing substances when they received proper support for their neurodevelopmental condition.
My thoughts back then
The central stimulant (methylphenidate hydrochloride) that improves attention and reduces impulsivity —
is it a chemical substance that naturally exists in people without ADHD?
Like serotonin regulation?
When I take Concerta — am I receiving a more even level of something that others already have?
Can it be compared to the masking effect cocaine has on pleasure — but without the high?
And why do Concerta and Ritalin work better than SSRI medications like Zoloft or Cipramil, which are primarily used for depression?
👉Read this older post ADHD & Concerta
More questions
Do people with ADHD have a biological foundation for their impulsivity?
Is it related to brain dominance — right or left?
Or is it our experiences in the environment, often negative, that affect our regulatory systems?
Does it affect serotonin? Cortisol? Stress levels?
Do people with ADHD biologically have higher cortisol levels?
Is aggression part of ADHD?
So many questions arose in me.
So many reflections based on my life experiences and the knowledge I had gathered — and what I had just read in that chapter.
This was one of the most interesting things I had read in a long time.
I usually have many thoughts.
Here, I had even more.
Many hmm.
But also aha.
Evolutionary reflections
Why does ADHD still exist?
Shouldn’t we have disappeared early on — with our impulsivity, curiosity, and tendency to try things others wouldn’t dare?
Or was impulsivity actually something that strengthened survival?
Was it necessary to be more fearless and impulsive in order to find food, explore new territories, and take risks?
Maybe impulsivity was not a flaw — but an asset.
Part 2 – 2026: What I understand today
2026 — I understand through experience.
When I read this today, two things strike me:
How much I already understood intuitively.
And how little it was actually about being “wrong”.
ADHD and impulsivity – from biology to regulation
Today we know that ADHD is not about a lack of a single chemical substance. ADHD and impulsivity are connected to how the brain regulates dopamine and noradrenaline.
It is about timing and regulation in the brain’s systems — especially those controlling:
attention
motivation
impulse control
reward
Medication such as methylphenidate does not add something foreign. It helps the brain use its signals more efficiently. That is why medication can create a feeling of calm and clarity — not a high.
SSRI medications mainly affect serotonin and are used for depression and anxiety, but they do not address the regulatory systems central to ADHD.
Impulsivity – from “problem” to blue circle
Here is the insight I have today:
When ADHD and impulsivity are understood through regulation rather than morality, the entire perspective changes.
Impulsivity is not a lack of thought.
It is an overactive drive system.
In my model of Safe Circles, impulsivity can be understood as:
🔵 A strong blue circle
High energy
Fast response
Exploration
Action
Curiosity
The problem is not the blue circle itself —
but when the green circle (safety, pause, self-regulation) is not accessible.
Then blue moves too fast.
Without brakes.
With the right support — medical, relational, structural — the blue circle becomes:
Creativity
Courage
Ability to act
Life force
Not chaos.
👉You can read my post Safe Circles in Life – Part 1.
Evolution – a reasonable thought, not a certainty
Today, ADHD is not described as an “evolutionary superpower,” but as variation.
Traits such as:
impulsivity
curiosity
risk-taking
may have been functional in environments where:
exploration was necessary
quick decisions were required
sedentary life did not exist
In modern society — with demands for stillness, long-term planning and self-control — the same traits become difficult.
The individual has not changed.
The environment has.
Stopping medication — and finding my circles
After some years, I chose to stop medication.
Not because it was wrong.
Not because it did not help.
But because it took a little too much of me.
It became too still.
Too even.
Too dampened in the parts that were also me.
But something important had happened during that time.
I had experienced what it felt like when my blue circle did not rush.
🔵 The blue — drive, impulse, energy —
had been given brakes.
I could think.
Weigh choices.
Feel consequences.
That experience stayed with me.
And when I stopped medication, I was not back at the beginning.
I had started building my green circle.
🟢 The green — safety, self-regulation, self-kindness.
I stopped attacking myself when I made mistakes.
I began speaking to myself more gently.
I dared to ask for help when things became difficult.
And that changed everything.
The helping-self
At work, there was suddenly a kind of “helping-self” in the group.
Someone who kept track of time.
Who knew what needed to be brought.
Who could estimate how long something would take.
It was never spoken about.
But I leaned on it.
That person probably never knew they were my helping-self.
But I knew.
And that meant my blue circle did not have to carry everything alone.
What I understand today
Impulsivity is not wrong.
It is a strong blue circle.
The problem arises when blue stands alone —
without green safety and without relational structure.
Medication helped regulate blue temporarily.
But what truly made the difference was:
building green within myself
leaning on other people’s green
reducing red (shame and self-criticism)
🔴 The red — threat, shame, self-attack —
weakened when I stopped attacking myself.
And when red settles,
blue does not need to run as hard.
Closing – then and now
When I wrote this in 2008, I was not looking for excuses.
I was looking for understanding.
Today I know more.
But I also feel less shame.
Impulsivity is not morality.
ADHD is not a character flaw.
Regulation is something that is built — not something you are supposed to “have”.
ADHD and impulsivity are not character defects — they are ways the nervous system functions.
And perhaps that is where compassion begins.
If you are new here and would like to understand more about how I work with regulation and safety, you can read my post Safe Circles in Life – Part 1.
Further reading on ADHD research
If you would like to explore reliable information about ADHD and neurobiology:
• Swedish National Board of Health and Welfare
• 1177 Healthcare Guide
• (for international readers)
Questions to sit with
– Have you ever tried to understand yourself through biology?
– Have you experienced the difference between medical regulation and relational regulation?
– What happens inside you when your “blue circle” rushes?
– Is there a green place you can lean into?
You do not have to answer.
But perhaps you can feel.
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Yesterday has already come to rest in history.
Tomorrow waits further ahead.
But right now — this is where life happens.
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